oh lovelies

Sunday, March 13, 2005

while in the park

I read this post on a travel site about men groping women in Japan. Blah blah blah.....long story short, it happens. But then someone wrote (a woman) well, if you're wearing a skirt, you're bound to get groped.

the following is very controversial, so if you're faint hearted, maybe you shouldn't read it. What I'm writing will probably piss people off. But these are my feelings. It has to be said by someone, and someone will come along and say it if I don't.

I wrote my feelings on harassment, assault, sexism, objectification.....how often rape is done by someone powerful, respected. THere's this myth of the lone nut (Echo the movie JFK which I was watching) who jumps out of an alley with an ice pick, and blah, blah, or the girl who was dressed too sexy and asking for it. It's still a knee jerk reaction even among women. Yes, some women do lack street smarts. They do dress and act inappropriately to their surroundings. But the circumstances of assault may or may not have had anything to do with that. It's a way of dominating women (and it's overwhelmingly male on female) and it happens across the board, right and left, US, Cuba, everywhere, it's a constant. It's political, is what I'm saying.

if you read this you'll probably think I hate men. Well, actually, no I don't hate men. I love men, most anyway. I love their company, and I'm attracted to men. But.....there's the contradiction. Because you these are the men I spend time with but then you read or hear about rape camps in Bosnia, the Spaniards killing Indians in Mexico, the viscious and ruthless takeover of even apartment buildings now in NYC and the fact that no one can get a home in Manhattan if they're not a billionaire (I'm not kidding; my mother told me last night that, as they own a loft in Tribeca which they bought in 1988) that she and her husband couldn't afford a place if they were buying now. And I suppose there are women who would rape, there are those who would abuse (and do) but really, it's men who rape, who keep slaves, who kill. Not that women are innocent, no siree. Women look the other way and deny what is happening; all the time. Or they blame themselves or other women. They betray other women as well, and oppress them. Some women abuse men, in other ways. Some take advantage of civil rights laws and use them to hurt others. That is wrong, completely. We can't keep pretending we're not to blame. Women sell eachother out and we can't keep excusing it and saying it's only because they had to survive in a sexist world and blah, blah......women will even lie to other women and tell them they're living in the best possible world. Look I see this every day and have lived with women like this all my life. In a way they're worse than the men cause at least with men you know where you stand and who you're dealing with. But with women you don't always know.

somewhere in the 70s began a musical movement, and one of artists in general, that was great, awesome.......and powerful. But then it stopped. Many were British but some were American. THe vast majority of them were British, but America had something of its own. But I tried listening to No Wave and was so bored.....I couldn't get into it. I guess I'm missing it, whatever it is. But it was there, and it was strong. Then.....it ended. In NYC it went underground, but the airwaves suddenly were filled with completely atrocious stuff, and ditto for the fashion. Books were written and articles were written saying absurd and completely untrue things. Why? no more 1984, goes a song from a hardcore band from NYC called SFA. It's true, something ended and suddenly many voices were muffled. And why was this? Reagan's takeover? Probably. Deregulation? Maybe.

2 comments:

cherie said...

i dont agree with prostitution as sugar coated rape. one of my old friends was a call girl and it was a very conscious choice. i do agree we need to look at our society, the way it is strucured, esp the activist movement.

laura, do you know the cheer "hey white boy"--very good for the activist cmty. i'll teach it to you if you want.

Laura in NYC said...

oooohhhhhhhh should've thought b4 writing that. I honestly didn't think people were reading my stuff. I said that about prostitution too hastily....I write things down as they're hot in my head and don't edit them and they come out guileless or blunt.

I know there are many grey areas and exceptions and there's a difference between a general theory and one live person who is complex, if that makes sense. I don't know your friend or anyone's reasons I can only express my own deep, complex feelings about this subject, and I do harbor a lot of anger for various reasons. Still, it's not in my interest to hurt, offend or accuse anyone. To really explain my feelings will take a whole book, but I suppose what I said was kind of rash. It's based on some very dark material I've been reading and of course it's a generalization. Anyway, hope that clarifies some of it.