oh lovelies

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Lunar Day One


Wow everything written here gels with what's going on and how I'm feeling. Yesterday I kept to myself and (peace, what) sat in the library reading, no phone or distractions. I did write out what I experienced certain elements of the past.....lengthy handwritten. I am feeling drained and not like social networking. I started reading War and Peace love it .....more on this later.....

Saturday, June 13, 2015


Yesterday was frantic. Only now just waking.....saw friends and had fun but was everywhere in the city and walking I must have at least 15 miles not sure.....I haven't run in a while but will soon.....I can see myself tightening up though as I was up and down. hills, stairs and so on. I just now found out I can .....well a lot of issues have nearly splintered me but somehow I got out of it, barely.....like I clawed my way out of a grave. A lot of things lost partly I admit, my fault that I was careless and reckless many times but glasses, phone, clothes. I returned cell phones even a wallet with money in it this partly because there was a time I lost mine and people returned it.....without taking any cash and I am grateful for that.....but you know things get lost I'm not the only one. I was supposed to get a replacement but it hasn't arrived it's two weeks now.....several attempts to buy one just a chaotic mess. a lot of upsetting things I'm reading the spying going on me having been spied on I never had the luxury of being ignorant or naive, if that's at all a good thing. I don't know, but educate yourself if you don't want to be led by lies as there was a time once when I was too. Certain people I had thought were OK or great turned out to be not and me being someone who stands out without trying to I was a target. I always sensed something was .....happening but it wasn't clear what. But if you don't want your body, soul and life hijacked then don't ..... well the information is out there. There are bookstores and libraries and a ton of stuff on the internet that's all I can say. 

a drawing I did: 

Thursday, June 11, 2015


I won't quote anyone but it's hovering over me.....thanks to Google and Youtube (such are the ironies) it's not so easy to copy people's stuff the catch being attributing it to oneself often collecting money for it; at least without being exposed. If it weren't for a corrupt judicial system in America a lot of people would be in prison. Sad state of affairs, huh? A lot of copying goes on and if someone rips off your stuff, furthermore getting rich off it, all illegally, and you merely say you're flattered you know what you deserve it then. By doing nothing and saying it's OK you're as guilty as the people doing this to you. Are you flattered when someone steals your TV? Then pawns it......not naming names .....I had a lot of stuff stolen from me (I know me as me it's easy to see this as a whine-fest, it isn't. I'm merely stating a fact: stuff was stolen from me) I was careless that's my fault......though I returned two cell phones as well as a wallet with money in it went through hell for a month due to having no phone.....I may be many things but I'm not ok with it nor am I flattered. Then this lowlife scumbag I made the mistake of dating accused me of, what? stealing $2? I don't like to write stuff like this because it's not positive, uplifting stuff but realistically this is what I've been dealing with. 

So. Live and learn. I'm happy to say I have. I worked hard to pull myself out of a bad place and I'm better, yeah better. Don't get me wrong. A lot of people have come along who are great, I am grateful for them. Spirit has helped me and I am grateful for that also. But I learned a brutal lesson from some of my mistakes you know not everyone out there is nice. Ha. It's like combat, or a video game! Now I can see why people play them.......I hadn't really understood it before.

Monday, June 08, 2015


"My private life is scandalized by the public/But that's the price I have to pay for my fame"  Noticable One by Missing Persons 

"American women are not, of course, being readied for mass extermination, but they are suffering a slow death of mind and spirit." Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique

"Yet we were wrong, terribly wrong. We owe it to future generations to explain why."

Robert McNamara 

     Jack Dykinga. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Dykinga ( www.dykinga.com )

From The Vault Of Art Shay: Remembering The Richard Speck Case

These are bits from the Richard Speck case, Chicago, 1966. I wasn't yet born, but growing up I met some of the people who had been involved on the media end. This is quite powerful stuff and looking this stuff up plus music from the period I started shaking.....this was a media frenzy equivalent to OJ Simpson or Jodi Arias well yeah I suppose they do become celebrities.....I can say that the emotional toll taken on people involved in this was devastating and remained for a long time. I must have sensed something underneath the surface even though I was a kid at the time.....a lot of music from the period is (my opinion) over the top happy cheesy ( not bland trite oooh sorry forgot I'd watched a Bart Baker parody)  and ......but hinting at something more to come.......