oh lovelies

Monday, December 20, 2010

this one it was real
this one it was real
so many others!
a gold scarf around my neck
house I can put my hand in
waiting for a response
for a response
on a side road
you in that pink room but what else was there?



you, me and her
did it slip right by me?
this one's Jasmine
this one is pink
I hold one rose up, then another

something shook me
17 in the bathroom
black tiles surround me
mermaid maiden?
and who wants to be
one day your feet will glow
though they be red

it's one two three fibonnacci
all of you is raw and heavy
that light, that light you follow
bruised and dying though you are
if you lie down here
here you're surrounded by that mother's love fur and purr
though it's cold and cold it is
and I'm sorry
this one it was real
this one it was real
so many others!
a gold scarf around my neck
house I can put my hand in
waiting for a response
for a response
cars somewhere are
speeding on a side road
somewhere Jayne lost her head



you, me and her
did it slip right by me?
this one's Jasmine
this one is pink
I hold one rose up, then another

something shook me
17 in the bathroom
black tiles surround me
mermaid maiden?
and who wants to be
she got what she wished for
but isn't that too boring?
woman was born to suffer
beauty is pain, pain beauty

it's one two three fibonnacci
all of you is raw and heavy

if there's one there are a million of them
face was so tender so was he
it was up to you to protect them


cat scratched me the snow stabbed me
in a tree, the snow piercing the part of your legs that were bare
in a playground covered in snow ice
nothing can live here, yet it does
you are here, you and her
toes not icy move them, they have feeling
you and your step sister her in plaid
we will freeze, but we don't

now you and the one who looks like him
are in some kind of garage
what are you doing?


you're eighteen your hair is red
the night is black
the doors are silent
you were waiting for someone
what are these eyes
what is this face
why are they glowing
yes it was hot hot in there
why are they glowing
let me travel to him him to me
promising safety
please fix the road for me
and it's getting dark
the pills were blue
the snow was white

presents were green
others red
then his text
a light! another then another
it can be so cold
so cold at night

sometime, sometime
legs scraped raw again
somehow I got back
thinking I was free
I was deceived

but for that moment the night was blanketed in white
red, blue and green lights gently hung around the old red brick buildings
so cold, but a sign of warmth
that you're home
no longer in a desert

the day to celebrate Christ
is this coming day, now it's night
and it's very silent only your feet make noise
in the snow marking it
presents sit in the living room
in a church your family stands next to you
lights go out and candle flames move like water
and it's quiet
she calls you a bitch
that morning the tsunami hits
you don't feel it here, or do you?
so thankful for the quiet this night
no one around
my cat comes in from outside
the snow makes a white mountain
this is the god of winter
an ice pick dosed in spearmint
your fingertips are a spark of deadly freeze
where no light comes
as the mercury ball drops

I'm not OK
I'm a grotesque monster of a wreck
I've been that
that thing think it's a piece of cheap pulp
but that thing is real
it's in me?

your emails have been read
somewhere someone is dancing
somewhere, the FARCs are getting rich
somewhere there's a white paste is stirred in a barrel
but here you're in a makeshift mall
step into a bathroom
white and holy r
the bag is pink
the white is snow
it has a peachy smell
it's a pink band aid
there's a devil doll outside
in a Santaria shop
he bobs gently and grins
you were warned
you were curious you know
somewhere people are marching in green, green leaves so sharp they cut
insects big as your hand
which one was stolen
three syllables
three bells
this one, the blue forms clouds, blueberries?
a blue boy on the wall

my nose hurts
aching, aching my body
and one came in from the cold
the air sucked out of the room
like in the barrel of a shotgun
or a piercing
a ring, one for every kind of day


8 am, 7 am which hour was it
plastic is cheap barely containing
somewhere in your bag it spilled
overspilled
you saw it, it was a skull, one too many
what was the meaning?
a car, too many
crossing the street
there were too many, too few to understand

it was winter this time
a white beard,
other earrings, those ones gold
the others diamond
the street is cold so cold
that has no mercy it scrapes your face
you light a fire
cold the streets are
yellow and bright the gold is
the sun! oh the sun!
how love passion lust power oh that!
do you know do you really know
you
think you do
I don't think you do
you didn't see them like I saw them
you didnt live them as I lived them


if there's one there are a million of them
face was so tender so was he
it was up to you to protect them


cat scratched me the snow stabbed me
in a tree, the snow piercing the part of your legs that were bare
in a playground covered in snow ice
nothing can live here, yet it does
you are here, you and her
toes not icy move them, they have feeling
you and your step sister her in plaid
we will freeze, but we don't

now you and the one who looks like him
are in some kind of garage
what are you doing?


you're eighteen your hair is red
the night is black
the doors are silent
you were waiting for someone
what are these eyes
what is this face
why are they glowing
yes it was hot hot in there
why are they glowing
let me travel to him him to me
promising safety
please fix the road for me
and it's getting dark
the pills were blue
the snow was white

presents were green
others red
then his text
a light! another then another
it can be so cold
so cold at night

sometime, sometime
legs scraped raw again
somehow I got back
thinking I was free
I was deceived

but for that moment the night was blanketed in white
red, blue and green lights gently hung around the old red brick buildings
so cold, but a sign of warmth
that you're home
no longer in a desert

the day to celebrate Christ
is this coming day, now it's night
and it's very silent only your feet make noise
in the snow marking it
presents sit in the living room
in a church your family stands next to you
lights go out and candle flames move like water
and it's quiet
she calls you a bitch
that morning the tsunami hits
you don't feel it here, or do you?
so thankful for the quiet this night
no one around
my cat comes in from outside
the snow makes a white mountain
this is the god of winter
an ice pick dosed in spearmint
your fingertips are a spark of deadly freeze
where no light comes
as the mercury ball drops

I'm not OK
I'm a grotesque monster of a wreck
I've been that
that thing think it's a piece of cheap pulp
but that thing is real
it's in me?

your emails have been read
somewhere someone is dancing
somewhere, the FARCs are getting rich
somewhere there's a white paste is stirred in a barrel
but here you're in a makeshift mall
step into a bathroom
white and holy r
the bag is pink
the white is snow
it has a peachy smell
it's a pink band aid
there's a devil doll outside
in a Santaria shop
he bobs gently and grins
you were warned
you were curious you know
somewhere people are marching in green, green leaves so sharp they cut
insects big as your hand
which one was stolen
three syllables
three bells
this one, the blue forms clouds, blueberries?
a blue boy on the wall

my nose hurts
aching, aching my body
and one came in from the cold
the air sucked out of the room
like in the barrel of a shotgun
or a piercing
a ring, one for every kind of day


8 am, 7 am which hour was it
plastic is cheap barely containing
somewhere in your bag it spilled
overspilled
you saw it, it was a skull, one too many
what was the meaning?
a car, too many
crossing the street
there were too many, too few to understand

it was winter this time
a white beard, should have worn the others
other earrings, those ones gold
the others diamond
love and hate adrenaline when it wants
always unannounced


Thursday, December 16, 2010

Sky dancer revised

this one it was real
this one it was real
so many others!
a gold scarf around my neck
house I can put my hand in
waiting for a response
for a response
cars somewhere are
speeding on a side road
you're in this pink room and
something went wrong



you, me and her
did it slip right by me?
this one's Jasmine
this one is pink
I hold one rose up, then another

something shook me
17 in the bathroom
black tiles surround me
mermaid maiden?
and who wants to be
she got what she wished for
but isn't that too boring?
woman was born to suffer
beauty is pain, pain beauty

it's one two three fibonnacci
all of you is raw and heavy

if there's one there are a million of them
face was so tender so was he
it was up to you to protect them


cat scratched me the snow stabbed me
in a tree, the snow piercing the part of your legs that were bare
in a playground covered in snow ice
nothing can live here, yet it does
you are here, you and her
toes not icy move them, they have feeling
you and your step sister her in plaid
we will freeze, but we don't

now you and the one who looks like him
are in some kind of garage
what are you doing?


you're eighteen your hair is red
the night is black
the doors are silent
you were waiting for someone
what are these eyes
what is this face
why are they glowing
yes it was hot hot in there
why are they glowing
let me travel to him him to me
promising safety
please fix the road for me
and it's getting dark
the pills were blue
the snow was white

presents were green
others red
then his text
a light! another then another
it can be so cold
so cold at night

sometime, sometime
legs scraped raw again
somehow I got back
thinking I was free
I was deceived

but for that moment the night was blanketed in white
red, blue and green lights gently hung around the old red brick buildings
so cold, but a sign of warmth
that you're home
no longer in a desert

the day to celebrate Christ
is this coming day, now it's night
and it's very silent only your feet make noise
in the snow marking it
presents sit in the living room
in a church your family stands next to you
lights go out and candle flames move like water
and it's quiet
she calls you a bitch
that morning the tsunami hits
you don't feel it here, or do you?
so thankful for the quiet this night
no one around
my cat comes in from outside
the snow makes a white mountain
this is the god of winter
an ice pick dosed in spearmint
your fingertips are a spark of deadly freeze
where no light comes
as the mercury ball drops

I'm not OK
I'm a grotesque monster of a wreck
I've been that
that thing think it's a piece of cheap pulp
but that thing is real
it's in me?

your emails have been read
somewhere someone is dancing
somewhere, the FARCs are getting rich
somewhere there's a white paste is stirred in a barrel
but here you're in a makeshift mall
step into a bathroom
white and holy r
the bag is pink
the white is snow
it has a peachy smell
it's a pink band aid
there's a devil doll outside
in a Santaria shop
he bobs gently and grins
you were warned
you were curious you know
somewhere people are marching in green, green leaves so sharp they cut
insects big as your hand
which one was stolen
three syllables
three bells
this one, the blue forms clouds, blueberries?
a blue boy on the wall

my nose hurts
aching, aching my body
and one came in from the cold
the air sucked out of the room
like in the barrel of a shotgun
or a piercing
a ring, one for every kind of day


8 am, 7 am which hour was it
plastic is cheap barely containing
somewhere in your bag it spilled
overspilled
you saw it, it was a skull, one too many
what was the meaning?
a car, too many
crossing the street
there were too many, too few to understand

it was winter this time
a white beard, should have worn the others
other earrings, those ones gold
the others diamond
love and hate adrenaline when it wants
always unannounced


Friday, December 03, 2010

barking dog

Tundra was out of control for the past 24 hours causing a great deal of strife, finger pointing, I admit hate and bringing the worst out of everyone. On the up side, this was only at the beginning of the day. I am obsessed with omens some are bullshit some have some merit. I'm reading that a dog's behavior is foreshadowing. I dropped a spoon....a child will visit, or else I'm fertile now. Lights camera and no daddy! Or Eros is here.

I went into Sephora as a treat to myself today after a doctor's appointment.....spent hours putting on eyeshadow. I looked great, finally. Beauty is pain and labor. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Today

was a combination of horrific and helpful. On the up side, some problems were worked out. The down, things were terribly chaotic and just fucked up in general to start. I survived, thanks to the grace of the air. Barely.

Thanks to the good doctors, the deli man on Myrtle, Virgin Mobile for restoring my service. To sanity.

Also Aphrodite, St. Alex, Dad, Grandma....those who are gone but not forgotten. Private thing but the kudos is there.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

fog and weird rain

but very pretty. Like the film sleepy hollow. I went to Pennie's Open Mic got interviewed kewl and then did a "story" for the first time. I have been training more for dance.

Since poetry is a stick I'll try to make this a poem, what I stated

it's the early dawn
tree branch surrounded by fog
I'm pretty and today was wretched
haven't forgotten
heavy woman on her knees in a blizzard
more mountains of dirty white under train tracks
standing, sitting, avoiding stares it's the subway at 3am
they sang "G Train Blues"
more like "The G train will make a wreck of me and my life"
quiet but for that howling wind
I whisper
it's quiet
that's the only thing that matters