Maybe my .....I had a nightmare about tf that he was chasing me around the apartment.....another dream last night. Someone else......I saw his eyes they were unrecognizable. It was like something had taken over his body. It was him but it wasn't. His eyes, his eyes.....I saw those same eyes.....piercing, emotionless, wild disturbed......when I was seven years old this gang of kids guys were pushing me helter skelter around a swing......in Evanston. Sitcoms creep the fuck out of me. You know that sickly sweet feeling you get in your stomach kind of like devil clowns or the three stooges.....or silent movies where everything is insane flipped upside down. Plus tf liked to watch them.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
By Roy Lichtenstein
I was researching Richard Speck, a homegrown serial killer from a small town in Illinois. That quote is his, as he was born December 6, 1941 the day before the Pearl Harbor attacks. I wasn't around at the time of the murders in 1966 but have known people tied to the case, one of them had been a reporter then sent to write about the crime. Even the top ten songs of the time were telling: Paint it Black, Black is Black I want my baby back.....this person, a writer assigned to the crime, was pretty devastated after seeing the scene.....I wonder why they sent the media to something like this usually that doesn't happen. Not to my knowledge.Watching the documentaries I recognize the .....well, Chicago. The churches that are built with a different kind of rock than those of the East Coast or Europe.....like more of a sandy color. That flatness of the midwest, the sky that is unnatural Easter Egg blue, the sun that is overwhelming and blinding, unshaded by mountains or tall trees, endless fields .....in spring it's bright and colorful but you step outside and it's chilling and windy. So anyway.....I wasn't going to say anything ........ and I won't. This happened during a Chicago summer and July is the hottest month. I think the news broke about this crime on July 17 which is PJ Soles' (the other "scream queen" from Carrie, Halloween) birthday
It can be stunning when suddenly the things that you read about in the news or internet, what have you, suddenly touch you in your life. It's someone you know, or you nearly who are a victim. Amanda Knox said that prior to what happened in Perugia (which sounds kind of like Peoria, where Speck's trial was and also Betty Friedan's home town) my mind is going a mile a minute......"I thought tragedy was something that happened on TV." When it finally touches you personally and you see how it happens to anyone, it doesn't discriminate......someone you have a personal connection to has done horrible stuff unbeknownst to you, or someone you know was a victim or it was nearly you.....what is so out of the range of everyday experience you simply can't wrap your mind around it.You feel dirty and ashamed, low, as if you did something wrong. Like you failed somehow. But realized, as someone obsessed with crime shows and such......like I said before living in Jersey City going home after work on the path, the endless waiting in cold train stations at 4am, is when I would buy the National Enquirer or the like and read this stuff. Or the books. I mention Betty Friedan because she was one of the original second wave feminists and herself a victim of domestic violence, a 50s suburban soccer mom who was also a writer with a radical past......suddenly woke up to "the problem that has no name" but point being she shied away from issues of violence against women as she thought it was "wallowing in that victim state." However, one of her more brilliant essays was on "Progressive Dehumanization" about the disintegration of American society partly from living in denial, with a lack of any substance and compared it to the mental trauma suffered by concentration camp victims. Digression but anyway this is the kind of thing that you feel before you understand. I always do anyway.
Anyway I thought .....or wondered if serial killers are an American phenomenon so I did some googling and randomly chose serial killers French and got this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Vacher
this is an AMAZING modern painting of the famous Beatles songs by
Ok so that song came out a year later but the contrast is brilliant......so this as a result of that......
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Love it by el Playa. More chill than Manhattan the people are more real. I'm taking it easy after work running cleaning in the am.....watched the Cinderella episode of Criminal Minds (super cool love the set and look of this one) JLH seems pretty decent.....plus Halloween with JLC. Hm. JL. We know what those two initials could stand for. HC? Hunter College. I'll take someone well ok I'll settle for someone only mildly psychotic.....how old am I? Noyfb. Old enough to vote not old enough to retire. So, deep blue sea last year you brought me to Riverdale thanks now this time can I go to France? Or Egypt again? Ty. Xo. Heart.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
Sunday, November 09, 2014
total 80s workout, punch, kick, spin, throw
Saturday, November 08, 2014
Ran through central park. Tough as hell. Watched earlier a punk rock interview with Regis and Kathy. Tear down the wall! Raybeez as a baybeez he was only 21. Him and his Bullwinkle-ness....."if ur blue and you don't know where to go to why dontcha go where fashion sitz.....puttin' on the ritz"
Must be the darkening moon.....affecting my mood. Or maybe some of humanity shouldn't have been born. The hypocrites who make these laws.....what they were never broke, or hungry? They never got loans from their parents? I doubt that. I read about someone who will remain nameless who not only stole charity money but spent allegedly $1 million on plastic surgery (sorry but it ain't doing the job) this is money that could have gone to animals, or, excuse me, to help the homeless (you try fucking living on the subway) or starving children, or transgender victims of violence (those she claims to be in solidarity with) or hell even to pay off a third world country's debt not sure I guess it works like regular credit borrow pay back borrow pay back. Henry Miller wrote Shakespeare said "neither a borrower nor a lender be" easier said than done......
My father considered himself a Republican (moderate pro-choice)
and was in favor of the gulf wars (due to the oil crisis in the 70s I mean I guess I understand the logic certainly would hope there is a better alternative) but picked up hitchhikers during the transit strike this in Chicago during the dead of winter and a blizzard real nice of the CTA huh?.....
Friday, November 07, 2014
My opinion of Sherrill Small and her husband (someone actually married this dude; go figure) I will not say. Drugs aren't great, but they in themselves don't make a bad parent. Bad parents make bad parents.Or foster parents. Or what have you. Child abuse is not instigated by drugs; these people are messed up to begin with and never should have been allowed to have children. Having a kid is not difficult; parenting and raising a kid is. So sad that it takes a tragedy like this to start instigating actions to be taken that should have been in the first place. Not to mention corruption in Texas Child Protective Services and ok I will speak plainly it's so fucking important to these people that a pregnant woman has the baby at all costs no matter that she can't care for it and neither can anyone else, so this is where the child they forced into the world ends up. OOOHHHH! I was so mad I was stomping the floor reading this......
Monday, November 03, 2014
Sunday, November 02, 2014