oh lovelies

Saturday, July 31, 2010


where is the real evil?
look around you
it's humans humans humans

where is the real horror the real sickness?
escape, how? escape, how? escape, how?

who are the real monsters? I live with one of them
oh so nice your stupid rainbows don't fool me

you think oh so you think oh so you think oh so you think
rage....flew past me, past me........
oh yes, pretty it's been for a time now

go ahead and delude yourself, because
if you think I love you
you are demented beyond a doubt my friend
oh so pink, oh so lovely
where's that day of what? reckoning?

oh yes, lovely it is
oh yes, lovely it is
oh yes lovely it is

you don't deserve it it was never yours
you are not its rightful owner
you never will be because you are a deluded bitch
oh yes you've sailed along
oh so peacefully
haven't you?
only the knives are under your pillows
you don't see them
nice, very nice
I still don't want to be you

Friday, July 30, 2010

yes been forever

well......I have been writing but had no internet access.....sucks I know.

I'll be honest here.

My mother asked why I'm "obsessed" with The Shining. I'm not obsessed. But there is something said in this film....and one viewing won't explain it all. For me, well....my uncle committed suicide. NOt an easy thing to write here but you know some things need to be written. His name was Danny. And it was in a house that just had a horribly negative vibe like this hotel.....in a remote part of the woods. It was in Battle Creek, Michigan. To anyone unfamiliar with Battle Creek.....when I was a kid my mother, sister and brother used to call it Battle Hick......I would say that and they told me to never say it, and wouldn't tell me why. I was on the treadmill once, and saw a show about how a little girl drowned in a bathtub in Battle Creek. Also, about 150 years ago, there was a train wreck in Battle Creek, where over 100 people died. One of them was probably a distant relative of ours. Gunshots? My uncle was schizophrenic also.

There's also the presence of many double Ls in the names.....you could say it's like a foreshadowing to.....well need I say it? Think about it. Also, this interview Kubrick talked about the Icarus myth....getting too close to the sun. Speaking of which, I'm a Leo. In the maze...well, what I see are four Ss. SSSS. What is that? In Chinese myth, four is death. Susan Sonny Sam Saiter. This is terrible, I know. I know. Well, it is what it is. To be honest.....having been inside the World Trade Center.....the interior of this hotel looks much like it.

OK, gruesome topic over. It's a waning moon in Aries, and I'm dog sitting for a friend, and finally have internet access.

"Some things happened here, and not all of them were good." I'm sitting across from Fort Greene Park, where 11,500 people are buried, killed by the British soldiers.

He makes many references to bathing, which is like cleansing....something done before Christianity came along. Cleansing negativity. I think that's what I need. That and some pot. Or wine. To get this off of me.

Also, one of my favorite people, Lydia, is back in town. Newyorkdancer.com will give you an idea of her. Hearts. Not the time for them. Timing is everything. Good thing my dear didn't return today.....

And as for my writing I am doing that as well. Will post my new poems shortly....

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

so much

I've been mia due to fucked up internet access and getting back in shape as a danseuse.....working on new material. I do have a new phone but am figuring it out still. got some new pix......be back soon. Went running today and it's 99 degrees out!