oh lovelies

Monday, October 31, 2011

fell asleep

had strange dreams of an old friend and her husband visiting........then a strange, ghostly couple in a library, and that I went into another friend's place (who lives uptown) he had given me the keys for.....then he came in.

got Devil and Lovers

relationship reading. Devil is "our baser desires" or more like "sins of the flesh." That it certainly is!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Kali Ma

I'm giving a plug to this awesome website devaintart a lot of modern depictions of mythical figures, gods and goddesses I love this kind of stuff.....this is Kali Ma.....


Thursday, October 27, 2011

Now I know

why people who are complete strangers to me give me the looks they do, like they know something about me or who I am. I'm really horrified. I don't know HOW pictures of me (with my face, not that I'm ashamed of it; you know, I think I'm attractive, but still.....) got on adult/hooker/ ect sites, or that I'm a sub, or worse.............or my name. Phone number. Someone clearly wanted to harass me, and they succeeded.They......people who I don't know or was never with made up stories about me; you know, anyone can say anything about anyone. It's like bathroom graffiti just one the web.

So. Clarity. This is not my doing. What else can I say? Get to know me, know who I really am.

And I don't work as a sub. And on and on. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I couldn't

keep this in my head forever. I didn't even start pole dancing til I was in my thirties, but ......it can be done; you have to work at it...... So I did. My arms, legs would be bruised the next day.....I would just want to sleep.....so much and it was terribly hard work but I just kept going; why? Why did I put myself through this. I didn't have to. No one told me to. But I did. I kept writing too.....I went in life in art to hell and heaven and all over, low and high. For it---- to happen this way with so much ugly drama; of course I didn't want that. I put myself through all that cause I believed in it. There was not much conflict; the way there was with other things.
I was, younger, very trusting where I should have listened to my instincts and not been. But I couldn't imagine someone......that they would do that; it was preposterous. And ....for so long......and get away with it. I didn't know but I had.....I could sense something was way, way off, something was really wrong. I just had this chronic bad feeling; but now I know and that's gone. I'm very relieved.....

Monday, October 24, 2011

been a while but not neglecting.....

I'm re-writing and memorizing my stuff preparing to perform it......and am ...........it's all so intense. I keep wanting to go down to OWS I think I'll go there and dance that's the best thing! There is more to come.....

Friday, October 14, 2011

sky dancer

love and it's real
love and it's real
so many yellows!

the yellows are bright
so is all this light
all this light so much of it
this light this one oh only this one

you, me and her
you, me and her
did it slip right by me?
this one's Jasmine
this one is pink
this one had softer petals than this one

there is a cross on the screen
theirs and not his
theirs and never his
all of theirs and never his

there's a monster on the screen
his it's all his
he reads your emails
it looks like him but it isn't
somewhere nearby he's sleeping
you're just a little east by a sooty river

and how your face aches
your legs and arms
all of you is raw and heavy
the screen is red, black and red
it's coming at you really at them
remember it's not real
black ants seem to multiply faster than birds
if there's one there are a million of them
face was so tender so was he
it was up to you to protect him
you did the right thing
they never told you
no one will tell you but you know

the cat was orange he scratched my arms
in a tree, the snow piercing the part of your legs that were bare
in a playground covered in snow ice
nothing can live here, yet it does
you are here, you and her
the car is not warm
you move your toes
your mother and her husband are out
you and your step sister her in plaid
we will freeze, but we don't

now you and the one who looks like him
are in some kind of garage
what are you doing?

you're eighteen your hair is red
the night is black
the doors are silent
you were waiting for someone

what are these eyes
what is this face
why are they glowing
yes it was hot hot in there
why are they glowing
let me travel to him him to me
promising safety
please fix the road for me
and it's getting dark
the pills were blue
the snow was white

presents were green
others red
then his text
a light! another then another
it can be so cold
so cold at night

sometime, sometime
legs scraped raw again
somehow I got back
thinking I was free
I was deceived

but for that moment the night was blanketed in white
red, blue and green lights gently hung around the old red brick buildings
so cold, but a sign of warmth
that you're home
no longer in a desert

the day to celebrate Christ
is this coming day, now it's night
and it's very silent only your feet make noise
in the snow marking it
presents sit in the living room
in a church your family stands next to you
lights go out and candle flames move like water
and it's quiet
she calls you a bitch
that morning the tsunami hits
you don't feel it here, or do you?
so thankful for the quiet this night
no one around
my cat comes in from outside
the snow makes a white mountain
this is the god of winter
an ice pick dosed in spearmint
your fingertips are a spark of deadly freeze
where no light comes
as the mercury ball drops

I'm not OK
I'm a grotesque monster of a wreck
I've been that
that thing think it's a piece of cheap pulp
but that thing is real
it's in me?

your emails have been read
somewhere someone is dancing
somewhere, the FARCs are getting rich

somewhere there's a white paste is stirred in a barrel
but here you're in a makeshift mall
step into a bathroom
white and holy r
the bag is pink
the white is snow
it has a peachy smell
it's a pink band aid
there's a devil doll outside
in a Santaria shop
he bobs gently and grins

you were warned
you were curious you know

somewhere people are marching in green, green leaves so sharp they cut
insects big as your hand
which one was stolen
three syllables
three bells
this one, the blue forms clouds, blueberries?
a blue boy on the wall

my nose hurts
aching, aching my body
and one came in from the cold
the air sucked out of the room
like in the barrel of a shotgun
or a piercing
a ring, one for every kind of day

in your bag a bottle breaks
the same spot, someone is hit by a car
the skull dances at night
smell of shoes off in a distance
coming for you
the rebels are coming for you
in your bag a bottle breaks
the same spot, someone is hit by a car
the skull dances at night
smell of shoes off in a distance
coming for you
the rebels are coming for you

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Saint Seiya Aphrodite    

By Fayeuh

This artist is a French female. love this stuff on deviantart!

Blair the liar, murderer and crook

Tony Blair is an absolute disgrace to humanity. I wonder how his parents feel having given birth to such an awful human being. He is a professional liar, thief and a fraud from head to toe. He is a disaster in the world. He is an ignorant at best at worst someone with absolutely no conscience and that is not someone to put in a position of leadership. I am sure he has taken gifts of some kind. I see through you though, and so does the public now. You have no defense for your actions.

How could anybody vote for him? I don't understand it. It defies all logic. That too is inexcusable. 


He belongs in prison. But, wait a minute, doesn't everyone think this?

I went back and forth on whether to publish this. Too many people are still praising this man when they shouldn't....so many articles I find are at best mish mashy. He .....needs to be somewhere where he can't hurt anyone. Why WHY are people like him out in the world? That explains many things.......

Thursday, October 06, 2011


speaking of stealing some shithead just took my phone from the library.....GGGGGRRRRRRHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so those who wish to talk to me can email or msg for now.......

all your emotional support to get my stuff back are not necessary but will appreciated; cause I need this, and it wasn't theirs to take.  ) thanks

Wednesday, October 05, 2011


sorry if I violated any laws or anyone's work wasn't intended.....as for art  ......but I never tried to pass it off as my own. I respect fully people's ownership of their work. please contact me if I did something wrong tried to be careful......truly)

Sunday, October 02, 2011

protests, arrests


this and the news of 700 arrested.....700! How many were at the RNC? But the truth is in one's actions. I wonder why the police are so eager to protect these corporate criminals, ok...actually that is not my opinion that is what they are. How long will they keep getting away with what they're doing? As long as the police are on their side, it'll be a long time. Those who speak out will be jailed instead.

All the news of these protests are tugging at my heart and bringing me back to my cheering days. More I'll say on this at a later date. I miss all that. (