Riverdale thinking back what is it two years later. As always there were great things and horrific things. I've made peace with T in my mind a part of me feels compassion. It hurts me that friendships which had so much good and potential spiraled out of control into something bad and people's anger, ego, jealousy what have you got in the way and caused so much unnecessary pain. But there was good too. I'm not expecting life to be all rainbows and fluffy clouds I realize after everything I've been through you can care about someone who is deeply flawed even violent but if that little voice (I've read about ancestral veneration an African tradition brought to America) is telling you to get out and they're not the one.....I read Jodi Arias (don't know how to make the possesive thing on this keyboard) diary where she says the little voice was telling her not to go with Travis. Dude, that is the understatement of the 2000s first decade. But ironically because of Ted I met a wonderful man David whom I adore I am so thankful to spirits. David has said things to me that concern me but he has been kind to me also. I feel such a deep soul connection with him he was there for me like sent from Heaven's angels during some lonely and dark times. I suppose I attracted him with hoodoo. Anthony too, whom I love a lot and seeing him is a blessing in spite of all the problems. I'm sorry things did not work out in east Elmhurst but I don't have feelings for Mikati I just don't and though I'm grateful for his help but from day one that voice was saying "no."
Thursday, December 10, 2015
This one that I'm in a kind of mall or performance space buying a costume people are waiting for me.....I know who but will say another time.....today I dreamt of a carnival, Mom and Sam, E, the bridge. Oh yes a girl I thought was Allison was a different Allison, an Indian girl, saying she's not a "prix." Couple nights ago dreamt again of D Im getting on a train to see B a line I've never taken before end up his place Ds he's playing horror film music (maybe time time to watch Halloween I love the first one) and the camera or my mind is panning to one of those things I don't want to see this but I do anyhow it's a girl hung in a garage.....on closer reflection I realize "she" is me. Hanged Woman. Life in suspension. That's obvious.
So in my mind qu est ce que je fait.....or regarde.....
Law and Order (got hulu! Watched a recent episode this show is to NYC 1990s 2000s what Shakespeare was to 16th century London)
Criminal Minds another great show awesome people
Jodi Arias her diaries (poor girl was victimized so many times I maintain my faith that she's innocent and thank God she was spared now she needs to be let out)
The rest of Prom Night
Youtube stuff news commentary
There's a huge talent pool of genius out there
Thats the goid news. It's difficult to stay on top of it all but it's there
Sorry for the delay I've been holed up in Washington Heights after some drama (ha! When do I not have that?) And laying low. I just watched an awesome film on Marina Oswald turns out it's the same director of the Amanda Knox one, Robert Dornhelm. Austrian of Romanian descent I mean movies are so universal I guess it's not that easy to distinguish one nation's from another though there are I suppose certain cultural differences. Anyway I'd watch the Marina one again and so far I've been very impressed with Romanian cinema.....Ils or "They" in English is incredibly stylish.