If there is someone on your friends list

If there is someone on your friends list you would like to take, strip naked, tie them to a bed post, lick them until they scream, then fuck them until both of you are senseless and unable to fuck anymore, then wait about five minutes and do it all over again, then post this exact sentence in YOUR journal.


I do feel this way about a couple people. They don't know it, though.

But I can't just fuck someone indiscriminately. No matter how much I like someone, I have to get to know them. Although that's what I say, but .......I've slept with people I didn't know well. And occasionally it was good, or even great. I don't regret some people but I do regret others. Some people I'd say it was meant to happen. I don't think I did wrong. BUt some people I'd say it never should have happened. Not that they're not good people. But.....no no.....I never should have gotten intimate with them. Well.....I don't know. Maybe every sexual encounter is a fated thing, like from above. I don't know if fate is the word. But there's a connection somewhere that's not just bodies. Well, some people have partners in the thousands. No, I don't like that. Like people say men "have" to have sex. That's used to justify prostitution. Well, I'm a very sexual person and I have to have sex, too. But sex can turn into something else, that I may not be ready for. Like this guy I met in Berlin; I was attracted to him, and I believe he was to me. But it just didn't seem right. If this were a world without "rules" we would have done it, probably. But it felt also like he wanted to own me, in part, to control me. I think just a little, he did. Not that he was a bad person. I could see another side to him, a softer side. But I keep thinking, what did he want from me? What did he want in general? This is someone who washed my underwear and bra and hung it out to dry......and I had such terrible insomnia at his place. That's why I hardly went anywhere, cause I was just tired during the day.

But there comes the very rare occasion where, well, it's not that rare, they don't just want sex, but something beyond that. But that's where things get really sticky. This is why I avoid it. I know when they want something else. I can tell, usually.