marriage?????

I'm beginning to think I don't believe in marriage, or even relationships. I think I am not meant to be with only one person for the rest of my life. Or at least, I have yet to find someone who has kept me happy enough to want to stay with him. Most men (and some women I suppose) have tried to dominate me, or I felt guilty if I cheated on them. But I can't feel guilty anymore. I've decided that fidelity, affection, all these things need to be earned. We're all entitled, but just that isn't enough. I wasn't faithful in the past but there were reasons behind it, and I don't know other people's reasons, only mine. I wasn't faithful because I wasn't getting all my needs fulfilled, not just sexually but emotionally, psychologically, these people weren't there for me. I can't, on the other hand, expect another person to complete me because no one will fulfill me for me. I have to earn my own wholeness, as does everyone. But someone I'm with has their own duties that they have to live up to, and I have expectations, not altogether unreasonable, I think, and if they're not meeting them then eventually other people will start to look attractive. The men I've been with always expected me to be faithful and got jealous when I wasn't. However, I was being pushed away at the same time. THey weren't listening to me but rather.....well almost trying to control me. I hope not all men are that way. I realize it always had to be their way and they had to be right. It got worse than that but that was the beginning.