interview, good friday

actually a pagan tradition of vernal equinox, the day of darkness and then spring and light or something re-emerging into spring, and the Easter Bunny is the goddess of fertility, something like that.
It was carried over to Christianity and was changed to represent Jesus being crucified and buried then rising from the grave. Easter has traditionally not been a happy time in my family; it is associated with many deaths....spring. there is much that I can't control, so I have to think of what I can do. I have made a lot of choices which I'm not sure now if they were the right ones. Others are influenced by what I've done which makes me feel responsible for them as well. I make right and wrong decisions, I'm human. I can't guarantee anything to anyone. So the world is what it is and people are what they are and I can't change that, but I can make decisions for myself. I'm moving on in life and things are changing, big time. I can't go back to my old life, but where am I going?

I was thinking about all the learning that I've gone through and the education I got....but how? Just a lot of research and reading. Learning music theory, classical music, physics, numberology, astronomy, astrology all in college. Discovering ancient Egypt, becoming obsessed, determined to visit some day. The politics, the power struggles. Latin, the lyrics to Mozart's Requiem Mass when I have never spoken a word of Latin in my life. Lux perpetua, only now do I know what that is. Radical feminism, the pro-woman line, challenging sexism in the media, discovering that the majority of what I read is bullshit, that I know nothing about anyone, that I don't know why things happen and that there's far more to it than I had ever thought. THat I don't know anyone's intentions, and they don't know mine.