NYC culture, 24 hours

I'm sitting in another inet cafe after going to see this writer, Michelle Tea, read. This crowd was "downtown" "activist" and I even knew one of the women, who wouldn't look at or say hi to me. This was a dyke crowd and everyone was "radical" looking, by far more than I do. I don't have tattoos, my hair will never be straight, and I'm not a lesbian....although I love Bluestockings and think they're a great store. But I left there feeling depressed, although my instinct told me to buy one of the author's books so I bought "Rent Girl." I didn't ask her to sign it, I guess cause I'm shy and feel bizarre asking people for that. Maybe it's me, but the crowd alienated me and I wanted to leave. I did buy the book and a Diva Cup, a menstruation alternative, which I've tried to put in me but it just got jammed, and I'm thinking, I spent forty bucks for this and I'm fucked....as it practically split me in half....although I'll hopefully get it soon enough.