I read this post someone wrote on Christianity. She was writing about the born again Christians. I am tempted to say that's not my problem, or it's not an issue in NYC, but it actually is. This town is full of people who believe their way is the only way and unbelievers will go to hell. But that's not my issue. I believe not in religion but in .....spirits or holy things. I believe when I go near a church there is something there. I believe the same when I pass any religious place. I've been to the Pyramids, the Western Wall. However flawed the trip was, I saw more than most people. I believe these things......these sites give hope when things get so.......when life is just sheer hard work and struggle, and ugly. THe majority of my time is hard fucking work and little reward. Well, that's not right; the reward is there, but it doesn't come without work. And right now I am working really fucking hard. I need rest, I need to be alone. This guy may move in here but I'm not sure it's a good idea, but I'm not in a position to say no. People are emailing me wanting to stay here and I'm almost beginning to ......really hate all of them. WHich isn't good.
So the Christians will say that the Egyptian gods are evil, or any gods. It's all about power and politics, not religion.....yeah, it was to break up the Roman empire and so on. But there are people who really do think their gods are evil. It is my opinion that, just as an example, the Egyptian gods are not evil, but they are the same as the Christian saints, they are together with them. They are divine, they all live together. But why do they only exist for one place? Well, maybe they don't; they take different forms, different names. But I believe that these gods aren't evil. I also believe that I have seen demons. Once, at a SUnday school I went to, I told the minister I had been reading Wiccan books which taught spells on how to conjure up fairies and elves and unicorns. Now, this man was intelligent and didn't preach to me. He was very smart. He said, the problem is, you don't know if what you're summoning is good or bad, if they will do good or harm. Many people have disastrous experiences trying to contact the beyond world. Christianity says demons are evil. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. My opinion is that there are evil spirits, but demons may not necessarily be evil. They are, however, angry, disturbed. My shrink would have said they're psychological projections, that these things I see (I have seen very little) come out of my mind. I don't know where they come from, I only know that I see it. But if there is a God or gods or Goddess, they won't do our work for us. They can only help out here and there.
But they do symbolize hope, which is needed now. Things are not hopeless, but they are a constant struggle. There is no such thing as free money, well, not for most people. I wish I could inherit enough to never have to get up and go to work again. I wish there were an alternative. But I have to find a job and there's no way out of that. The question is, how do I find it? Where is it? Does my former employer have good or ill will toward me? I'm serious. I know I sound paranoid, but if you knew the whole story you'd know what I mean.
No comments:
Post a Comment