clubs

I miss clubbing, a lot. I haven't done nearly as much as I'd like, but tonight is Sat and I'm so exhausted from dog sitting and......I've been running back and forth all day, long walks to the train. I haven't showered yet and it's 10PM. That's not good.

I am afraid. That's my lifelong problem, but for some reason I am. I don't know why. It's silly I guess. I want something but I'm terrified of it. What was the saying, confront your fear, confront the snake.....the serpent? Something like that.

But I miss going out and meeting people. I really want to meet more. I just miss meeting good looking and interesting people. I pass people every day but I live in my own bubble. Somehow something isn't right. I want to stay in my hole, yet I don't. I don't have to, really.

It's selfish to do that. No matter how great you are, it's selfish not to reveal your problems and suffering to the world. You owe it to people.

I am selfish, myself. I am afraid. I am lazy. But I am afraid.