activist problems

What I've learned:

Keep your meetings closed. Don't accept just anyone and be careful what you say. Why? There are spies and infiltrators. That's the most extreme. In other cases, too many groups of strong and vibrant individuals fell apart because of bickering and disagreements. I guess no two people will ever agree 100 percent on everything, but there should be a preliminary. That was the problem with SHP. A lot of people also just brought bad energy whether it was a plot or just their own emotional problems but that was counter-productive. One most blatant example was a girl who started promoting more or less racist agendas. But there's more. What if you get someone who has a polar opposite view on something everyone else agrees on? All I know is that the cheerleaders here are falling apart and I myself don't want anything to do with another group because of the fact that they have stated things that disturb me greatly. Now, I'd say, acknowledge that people are entitled to their opinions but it's a waste of time to fight with people. I wonder if jobs I've been applying to are refusing to hire me because of my politics. Like I wrote a review of a controversial feminist book, which anyone can find under my name. I wonder if I've been denied employment in the past. I wonder just how much sexual harassment is going on, and I suspect it's legion. The subtle and not so subtle sexism even more.

What it comes down to is liberal vs. radical feminism; and most activist/feminist groups I know of of women are more liberal. They emphasize voting, action on abortion rights, don't believe in taking significant action to reform prostitution (basically by that I mean eliminating it) but see it as a business transaction, and in SHP the liberal ones are more concerned with benefits, getting non-profit status and grants, workshops.....what it comes down to is that they aren't really going to fight men. Ironically so many of the liberal feminists (well, that's how I view them) tell me they hate men, basically and view them as the enemy. I don't think ALL men are evil or that women are better just because they have vaginas. Women do oppress and betray women. I mean, if it's a group of beer guzzling jocks making derogatory comments about feminists I am not fazed, because I figure what else can you expect? But when women say, we shouldn't complain to meetup.com about a sexist group forming because that's censorship (and meetup.com has an anti-racist policy in their terms and conditions) or that they will raffle at a benefit party a book that runs counter to what our tenets are.....oh it goes on and on. But what it comes down to is the battle is between liberals vs. radicals. Some of these people I may like personally but I have come to see them as ineffective in terms of making any real beneficial change. Because I keep thinking, what is the point of workshops and benefits? Well, workshops have a point and that is more consciousness raising. But then they want to do less of that. But what is the solution they propose at the workshops? Throw something at harassers? Flip them the finger? This girl I met in Berlin from Australia asked me the point of this group, and I have to think she has a point. How realistically are we going to stop street harassment?


I think the key issue is sex and prostitution. This is getting into very volatile material, but......it is my opinion that prostitution is how men exercise control over women. I think more or less all women are forced into prostitution. I know, I have heard arguments from sex workers who say that they aren't being hurt in what they do. I myself would.....I have......I could have been a sex worker myself. But I don't see it as a business transaction between two equal people. I myself am a businesswoman and I'm not under illusions: anyone who's been through it knows that every dollar you make is fucking hard won. Maybe if you're a ......I mean I know I worked hard for the money I made, and I fought hard for it. I mean really fought. I have had half the people I worked with try to evade paying me the agreed upon money. I believe prostitution should be legal in that sex workers shouldn't be punished. I believe they should never be judged by other women or feminists, if that's happened before. But I don't see sex work as harmless to women. I don't see.....I mean my point is that women are raped and enslaved, literally (and that is against the law,I mean talk about constitutional rights) and nothing is done about it. It's covered up and lied about. Any of us could be thrown in a basement somewhere and forced to suck cock or whatever, really, and could even die and nothing will likely be done about it. And this is nothing new. And.....I mean I've been in countries that suffer poverty yet they don't have these public assault problems.