my morning starts with no caffeine, having been stuck on the f train for four hours the am before. Rain. No others. No money. No food. I got soda and two bananas for breakfast. Last night got fucked up. The first OPOOOOOOOOOOOOONHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

fucking email I get is this really snotty one from my sister asking for her shirt and dress. It's always nice when someone contacts you just to snap at you and accuse you. It is hard for me to get this STUPID dress that she NEVER wears what do people just want to fight for no reason? Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because it's mixed in with other stuff at friend's house in brooklyn then I'll be pressured to get other stuff that I CANT get so what? OK???"?????????????????????????????????????????


Then J after I've been trying to reach him for four days and not getting any response just pops in on me to tell me he's here and a) I'm not prepared and b) he's "staying with Don" which is BS. There's that It involved if he insists on having insane people in his life (I'm not going to say her name) it's NOT my problem. I've suffered for no reason for years because of this fucking insane evil bitch and I'm DONE. I KNOW she's involved. SICK of this.

NOW. Start the morning over without bitchiness or ...........................?

I had been stuck off the F train last am when I was supposed to take the R which was supposed to be the N ..........................? Took a shower and did my make up so I could look hot for all the people on the F train out in.....what place was this? It was ................how do I even describe this? 39th street off the F it was like some weird I don't know what. The design looked like something out of that movie "Crops" or some kind of B horror film . Out the window I could see the what looked like brothels (these guys standing outside some kind of bar) and the neighborhood hookers waiting outside.........they must have had more fun than me.

It's one of those.



And my period is starting.



Thanks for giving me J but I need the other things and yes it is getting to me. I'm SICK of this. SICK of her. SICK of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SICK of this








My apartment and living situation is not solved. So sue me, OK? What the hell do you want me to do?