Radical Conference

Today we did this grassroots media thing, the NYC Radical Cheerleaders. It was so so great, such intense and good energy. Also with us were the Missle Dick Chicks and the ? Clowns that ticket cars parked in bike lanes. It was so positive, really, and had the feeling of when I was a teenager going to shows or with my friends, on the best days, when we all dressed in ways to, really, make a statement or get attention; some kind of ? I don't know, but it came together really well. Now, though, I'm exhausted. I went afterward to this Thai place in the East Village as I'm now obsessed with Thai food. But anyway, I felt so great at this thing and the crowd was super enthusiastic and there was this real, maybe it sounds corny, but a really close bond between everyone, I think. I love to perform, and "art" and this, truly, is life and living: creating something for people with meaning, that will change the world. Saying something, something daring. This is what I live for.


I sounded like a real bitch in that last post. Honestly, I don't mean it as some kind of ego thing. That wasn't written right. It's not that I am some kind of shallow opportuninist.....if only! It's just that I think I'm just not an easygoing person by nature, I can't .....? I'm just not a peppy person. I am bothered by so much around me. I shouldn't be that way. I can definitely be pissy, withdrawn, ect. Whether or not that's right is up for debate. But I can't really.....lounge around and just soak up life. I'm a naturally critical person.....of everything. Maybe I'm wrong. Should I or can I change? I don't have an answer....yet. But I hope I never become self-centered....I never meant to be that way, though I have been accused of that, by G among others.


Anyhow, yesterday I had a horrid stomach cramp and almost threw up several times, but ultimately didn't. I didn't eat anything until 10 at night. Finally G told me it's emotional, which makes sense. At long last, around 3 AM, it went away. Then my friend R texted me but, alas, I had to go to this media thing, so I stayed in my room, and now I'm going back to my room, to try to read and figure out, what? A schedule.

Finally, I realize I've been posting all these pics of myself and it probably seems like I'm this total narcissist, but in fact, I can't find my digi camera so all the pix I have are my recent headshots. I want to post some pix of gorgeous Clinton Hill where I live but I have to borrow G's camera cause I fucking can't find mine. However, I find these landscape photos to be dull, myself, like calendar pictures. So I'll try to personalize these ones.

That's it for now, ra ra ra!