But moving on, back to life

I have a lot to do and it's daunting: ........the.......I felt like I'd been run over. The fourth of July victory but at what price? Still breathing if broken and bloodied. And in pain. Grieving? The sniper is still out there....... what am I supposed to feel? Here I am every breath every movement is pain pain I'm thinking should I just die.....but I don't. .....I break out in song and dance cuz hey.....I'm still alive? I've been through hell I've been bloodied bad but here I still am..... 
So in London yes by all means study abroad I'm not saying don't. My next goal is to study in South America. But you know people don't tell you about the danger. I think the day I was held hostage in London the American embassy in Kenya was bombed. But it's overwhelming to imagine: being no longer you with your life as you know it you're now someone or something with a label on them which has you think anyway little to do with you..... ok the Nairobi (a place I'd wanted to visit) bombing happened the week before I remember specifically because my incident happened on the 13th of August ......the British cop (and they are damn scary, one of the many cryptic films we'd seen had Tim Roth being brutally tortured in prison) saying, "The sum of thuh-teen pounds, Thursday, August thuh-teenth" and I don't think I even knew about it until the next day. Three years before the 9/11 attacks, anyway the world was introduced to, to quickly forget......al queada. After getting robbed, I was broke, terrified I would not be able to leave, scheduled to go to Scotland.....off I went. More films of that caliber......but in that area (kings cross)I had seen many men walking around who could be Rudy Guede truth is .....that incident could have happened where I was and probably the only reason it didn't was because the place I was staying in had very tight security who had been on high alert when my key was lost.  And.....more later.....ah......August 13.....the day the Berlin Wall was constructed. The fall of the wall and my subsequent exile to Chicago but another time for that......