rain cold cut my eyelid stupid bike bounced off the stairs against my eyelids just millimeters away from my eyeball and me needing stiches....
my friend said these injuries are badges of honor....
feeling love, but also lonely....frustrated, jealous, trying to let go let go trying.......
cafe i pass on the way to and from home, now late, 3 am or so, mercilessly cold and raining with endless cold drops of water hitting me, my legs, not well protected or covered...only wanting to get out of it...the rain.....this awning banner says her name....it's flapping in the wind...I think is it a sign or am I reading too much into things? There is no place on earth I think more remote, ugly and lonely than Flushing Avenue, in Brooklyn. My friend was nice to give me this bike...one of the few nice things he did for me...well, he made me coffee. A few nice things. I have to try to think of that. Ok, at times. Ok. Other times I was hurt by his behavior but he did this.......
So that's why I don't completely leave....
Out here every bone in my body aches, the cold scratches away at me. I was sick for days afterward. I wore myself out. Finally indoors I am grateful for warmth, shelter.
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