had

and was supposed to meet b--- and asked him if he wanted to come into the dunkin donuts where they have the internet.....as my computer had broken. he said, "I just smoked a joint I can't go into dunkin donuts that's like a total buzzkill....." I don't know how many lines later that am late he drove me home...where I'd just moved in. I brought him in past my roommates, said hello, went downstairs to my room, where he sat staring blankly at the wall. I said I had to shower....be right back down. Showered, guess I took my time....when I went to my room he was gone. I texted him....????? A couple days he got back to me. "When I'm really high....I had a panic attack and couldn't sit there. I can't be around anyone...."

fell asleep in my room had no work for a while.....then at 3:33 am my phone rang. it was b---......can he come by? I needed cash at the time badly.....went upstairs to the living room where I sat and waited....at least he's pretty reliable. He shows up just as my roommate is getting home.....this is jarring anyhow....at the time it was. I went out to meet him and asked him to wait. he started yelling "I am not going to wait here! You pay rent here why do you let your fucking roommates push you around no one tells me what to fucking do..." and was really yelling. I was getting a little scared....plus he was ...I had never seen him drunk before. Somehow...I got into the car with him. He was driving super fast and at one point I thought, I'm going to die....he was screaming....

so I didn't die and we got to Queens. Vodka had a different effect with him than stimulants. He said he got bad vibes from the place I was in. He hated the area I lived in. He said there were too many cops looking to bust people.......



more later.....