and feeling really mad. It's hard to forgive certain people, and I suppose I haven't really. I do still feel "raw" about certain things even 20 some odd years later. Like the kids who chased me in the playground or the girls who wouldn't let me in their circles or invite me to their parties. Cause every day I see people who could be those same kids now, only grown up, trying to befriend me. I know they're not "the same" people but then again I just get that vibe from them that they are, just in a different time/place. And I'm just like, I'm the same person that I was then, I haven't forgotten how you treated me, why should I be your friend now; what have you done to deserve it? I feel so mad I want to hit them, or scream. Because I don't think their attempts to be friendly are sincere. I know what people may say, "Why can't you open up and trust people? Why can't you be everyone's friend?" Cause in the past I did trust people who turned out to be not trustworthy. Trust and friendship have to be earned. Yes there were people who were oh-so-sweet to my face but were really backstabbing. These people exist, you know?
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