maybe it's the wine I drank at lunch

but I've been feeling dizzy and the scene here is demoralizing. This is after coming from a feminist meeting that was so uplifting, but I left that and went into the hell death trap that is lower Manhattan, now. It's all suburban or private school kids and these big beefy guys that storm through the streets, on foot, bike or cars, push people out of the way, leer at women in a way that makes it uncomfortable to go down the street, and these women that may be the second generation Stepford wives, or Stepford daughters? It's as if we've regressed a whole century. Is it a bunch of coincidences or is there poison in the air? I was feeling sick, tired, dizzy and miserable. I'm trying to stay upbeat, but it's like the energy was sucked out of me. I can't live without creativity and I know it's around, it's everywhere, but it's such a constant struggle to keep it in my life. Why is that? Why is there so much more noise and confusion everywhere? Every hour, it seems, I'm battling something. What is it?