more trouble

I don't want to turn this into a "woe is me" rant, and maybe some of you will tell me to snap out of it and stop the self pity, but I just came from the bank. Apparently, a check I wrote for $2.40 to Hunter bounced and now I'm being charged over $200 and they, HSBC, are more or less going to force me to pay this amount. Every explanation, argument I could make made no difference. I went to Hunter and explained the situation and they told me there's nothing on my record; I don't owe them anything. So maybe it's my cell phone company, Sprint, that's charging me though I said repeatedly I don't want automatic debit, and all my other bills I pay in person. There's no point in having a checking account; I might as well take the money and throw it in the street. That would be better spent. Motherfuckers. I hope I can straighten this out, but no matter, what it comes down to is I'm going to have to work far more than I have. I need a pool of money on reserve in case of another crisis. I was really stupid and naive about so many things and I've learned the hard way, and for once I feel ashamed, in a way. Not just this present problem, but about how I acted and felt in the past. I was so wrong, so ignorant about a lot of things. I really fucked up, but I also just didn't know. The thing is, though, it's not for lack of effort. I guess it's because I work hard, at times, that I'm not in the gutter, which I could have been. I know this is sounding whiny, so I should stop. But today so many things have just snowballed on me and I see now my own faults, clearer than ever. But why should my hard earned money go to unworthy people? Seriously. It's not the money. It's the principal of it. Really, some people have manipulated and .....it's just wrong. But it's likely nothing will be done about it, either. Not for now anyway.