Sorry to be MIA back.....:-)

I have written a lot actually just have not typed but now comes the arduous task of doing so. Three weeks ago I survived (thank you, as I'm sure it was intervention but don't discuss) a violent sexual and physical attack from someone I had thought was a friend. I am grateful to have gotten out alive and with just a few bruises. It is my heartfelt belief and hope that everyone gets a second chance like   I did and I know there is nothing to be gained in this for anyone. The signs may be there but not clear as they are not always obvious. I thought I knew this person and could trust him but neither turned out to be the case. That usually is not, at first or even in the middle, the side they show. Sometimes they do things that are nice and helpful it's a Jekyll and Hyde thing. But this person is severely damaged and nearly destroyed me and himself. It's very sad, and ugly. In the end I just feel sad for him but also know that there needs to be even more security around the city because any woman or girl is a target for this and can end up in the same situation. It's been happening rampantly and it has nothing to do with what you do, where you go .....something has to be done. I can't trust anyone not that I ever really did. There is overwhelming violence perpetrated against women and much of the time as it did with me pornography plays a factor. I have an active.....intense aversion to porn I don't think it should be illegal if it's between consenting human adults ect. But it was one of the main breakup factors in all my relationships. It soured my opinion of these men, too. But porn is a product of men and is built-in.....that I was pressured into transforming into this fantasy ideal rather than be accepted as I am, me, not that. And I will never be "that" .....this I say doesn't make me anti sex but I was exposed to stuff I wish I'd never seen..... and NONE of it was anything I had wanted to see or had looked for. It's sick, absolutely sick. I have an equal right to voice my opinion as "they" theirs as I have just stated. To speak up is not to censor but to add to the mix and there that's mine.