been a while ......ooh lordie dear where does the time go? I've been through a lot in the past few months heaven and hell with God's grace I survived. BUT now I just want to move on. Yes I am grateful and now take nothing for granted, how can I? I've seen the best and worst of humanity the worst, I am happy to say, are no longer part of my life. If nothing else, I'm a fighter. Not by choice. I was bullied in school and yes there are those who've had it worse, Heaven help them, but I've had, like I said, great people and terrible people both.....I read somewhere that people come into your life at times because you let them in. I can't deny to a degree I did. Sometimes your unconscious processes things much faster than your conscious mind and when you're vulnerable you're not thinking clearly. That's why sleep is important! It is.
I have been all over the place lately it seems and .....this is the first time I've been able to sit comfortably all day.
My friend was very sweet to invite me to the Jersey Shore I have a ton of photos but uploading them will be slow......the place I was at is surely haunted at least so I've read and it does feel that way. It is quite beautiful though. Gorgeous (still have trouble spelling that!) Art Deco architecture and.....huge bathrooms. I preferred to use the one in the side hall cause the main one was kind of gross. Oh yes! Darlene Love was there filming her video and I got some footage.....honestly it was then and there I found out who she is (from the Crystals "Da Doo Ron Ron" ect) the car she was in.....the first thing I said was, "This looks like Christine! It's Christine!" someone said it actually belongs to someone who drives it and I said, "But wait, the license plate says 'Love' .....is that real?" Then I went to Bushwick, BK la (I say that as I still haven't found a place) and there was a girl from Denmark who had stayed at another house owned by the same person, and she answered that they kicked her out because she didn't shower enough. I said, "Oh, I took a shower before coming here " they started laughing .....people have said I take everything literally. She had been making a joke.....anyway Darlene Love and her band sounded amazing it really is totally different live......like I said I will post photos later it's going to take some time.
I have actually written quite a bit on some darker subjects but not ready to post this yet......I will eventually.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
We've met the enemy, and he'(she)s our friend"
Expression from the sixties.....Or so I'd read. The actual activists that is, from that time.....who did not.....just sit around and drop acid but were well aware of what was happening and.....well, organizers. Give them that
"Thou.shalt not lie" "thou shalt not kill" are in the Bible but .....they don't say "it's ok to tell a white lie but not a major one" "it's ok to kill someone who is a cunt but not anyone else" or "you can kill a fly or a bird but not a person" but don't lie, dont kill. Recently I was washing my face and it said "antibacterial" "kills germs" tonight if I followed this.could I not use this stuff because it kills what do I do is there something that will chase bacteria or germs away without killing them or not wash my face or hope it just flies off? Recently someone tried to kill me. Or threatened to. Either he has always been this way (in that case good riddance) or something got to him. Brainwashing? All kidding aside, if you vote for a sociopath like Dick Cheney then you deserve it. It doesn't take much to see that he is. Sometimes I feel that but I know how good actors they are. And they are good. I looked in Dick (the name says it right there) Cheney's eyes and they are dead, emotionless. He is a sociopath, I feel it. He doesn't care, he doesn't feel. Same for that slimebucket "sextortionist" or, let's call it what it is, he is a rapist, Lucas Chansler.
Monday, July 20, 2015
underslept......
heavy concentration......ugh! been all over the place. It took two hours to get to my place last night I vowed never to attempt the subway on Sunday again. I was......hating the MTA with a vengeance.......walking around in heat and humidity that was so intense it was hard to see.....you could practically swim in it. I do need now a respite of some kind.....but am so wired can't sleep now.
Anyway, this is from a couple years ago.....where does the time go? I was in Jersey City.
This song by the Wallflowers came on as I posted something "seems such a waste/she always had a pretty face/I wonder why she hung round this place....."
So I had my own thing going and was in a different place (geographically) had barely a clue who.....this person was. I was caught up in my own love life and who I thought I was in love with didn't think about this person .....that way......or anything in any personal way as......how would I? ......That, I see now, is where I fucked up. I should have. It hurt me to leave but I had to. I thought.....it felt like the end. "I can't bear the thought of leaving you/though I don't dare to stay/my heart and soul are at a tug of war......left with emptiness no second thoughts/there's nothing left to say" But it wasn't. Well the end of one chapter the beginning of another.
What happened.....at the time, I thought it was a routine audition like so many others I'd gone to. This girl was dancing to one of their songs. I'd heard it before, snippets, on the radio. This--she--was amazing. The room was.....lit up. I don't know why this stuff was more popular in Chicago than NYC this song was made in the U.K. but so much of what I heard on the radio in Chicago was made in NYC but more popular in Chicago twisted......right. Thinking now......no......something here was out of the ordinary. A....? Formality of some kind. It was right in front of me and impossible to forget and I never did. Nor did I ever understand what it was. But suddenly; everything changed and so had I. I was never again going to be what I'd been before.
Anyway, this is from a couple years ago.....where does the time go? I was in Jersey City.
So I had my own thing going and was in a different place (geographically) had barely a clue who.....this person was. I was caught up in my own love life and who I thought I was in love with didn't think about this person .....that way......or anything in any personal way as......how would I? ......That, I see now, is where I fucked up. I should have. It hurt me to leave but I had to. I thought.....it felt like the end. "I can't bear the thought of leaving you/though I don't dare to stay/my heart and soul are at a tug of war......left with emptiness no second thoughts/there's nothing left to say" But it wasn't. Well the end of one chapter the beginning of another.
What happened.....at the time, I thought it was a routine audition like so many others I'd gone to. This girl was dancing to one of their songs. I'd heard it before, snippets, on the radio. This--she--was amazing. The room was.....lit up. I don't know why this stuff was more popular in Chicago than NYC this song was made in the U.K. but so much of what I heard on the radio in Chicago was made in NYC but more popular in Chicago twisted......right. Thinking now......no......something here was out of the ordinary. A....? Formality of some kind. It was right in front of me and impossible to forget and I never did. Nor did I ever understand what it was. But suddenly; everything changed and so had I. I was never again going to be what I'd been before.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Lucas Chansler sentenced to prison for exploiting young women
Thankfully, Lucas Chansler "sextortionist" *
(Ugh! I'm holding back from saying more......)
was caught, convicted...... sentenced to 105 years; in Jacksonville, FL.This is federal prison. I really would like to see the court documents and trial transcripts.
Another similar case is of a man pretending to be Justin Bieber (yeah, you read right) and tricking naive girls into undressing on camera and...... it makes me sick to write this- later using the imagery to blackmail or frighten them into doing all kinds of sex stuff; this by now being not a thing they are consenting to or willing to do.....call it a form of rape, really. It IS rape. And these men know it; they are aware of what they are doing, but feel no remorse over it. They think it's ok because in their mind women and girls deserve it. Or that's what they want the case to be; maybe it's a form of revenge (but often not) toward women who rejected them but often that didn't happen and it's a......really a hate crime against women. I wish I didn't know about this kind of thing, or that it wasn't as common as it is. But I can't deny when I was this age I could have fallen for this BS, from someone, as high school kids are just that: kids. Their brains are not fully developed and not mature enough to make decisions, that also being consent to sex. At that age, you are susceptible and want to believe what people (men) tell you......I was in high school before internet but that is merely the latest tool for an age old dirty scheme......a guy once told me he could count on one hand how many girls he's known have NOT been prey to a dude like Lucas Chansler. Now he has a teenage daughter.....sad but serious.....I am grateful for the advice, education and warnings I got, this from various men and women, young and old, fellow students, along the way, at that time and later; they were a life saver.
Ignorance is bliss, for a short while, til you suddenly can't afford to be anymore. When you find out, it's too late. So don't trust anyone and educate yourselves! It can hurt to find out the truth about someone you believed in and let into your life. But better not to have them in it. Below is a link to an excellent article on sociopaths. I believe Lucas Chansler is one. One of their characteristics is a vacant stare.....like they are looking into a void. Another is lack of emotion or the ability to process empathy in their brains. Lack of fear or impulse control is often another factor. KNOW what these characteristics are as you are in serious danger if you let anyone like this into your life. I know of a case of a very famous one. This person used their position (which she did not earn or deserve, by the way) to steal, cheat, even kill probably. Many people were afraid to speak up because this person is rich and famous. If people around you are worshipping someone, they are probably brainwashed. Get away from them, don't let it happen to you. By writing about this I risk invoking this person's wrath.....which is very real. But some things have to be said, regardless. Don't be swept up in their charm, as it's a facade; and an endless song and dance. They are full of drama and solipsism; everything is about them; and if fear doesn't work to draw you in they will switch to pity. It's not them who are wrong, it's the masses of people and an admixture of authority figures (the pope, the nuns at school, their parents, the Argentinian Prime Minister.....ect. ect. ) who have "misunderstood" them. You will be convinced but in the back of your head something is "off." I learned that that is the thing to listen to. Kind of like a "bullshit detector." Because that's what it is. It's a lie: they were not misunderstood; these people were simply unfooled. But for that reason, hated by her.
Heed the warning signs, and KNOW what you are dealing with!
(Ugh! I'm holding back from saying more......)
was caught, convicted...... sentenced to 105 years; in Jacksonville, FL.This is federal prison. I really would like to see the court documents and trial transcripts.
Another similar case is of a man pretending to be Justin Bieber (yeah, you read right) and tricking naive girls into undressing on camera and...... it makes me sick to write this- later using the imagery to blackmail or frighten them into doing all kinds of sex stuff; this by now being not a thing they are consenting to or willing to do.....call it a form of rape, really. It IS rape. And these men know it; they are aware of what they are doing, but feel no remorse over it. They think it's ok because in their mind women and girls deserve it. Or that's what they want the case to be; maybe it's a form of revenge (but often not) toward women who rejected them but often that didn't happen and it's a......really a hate crime against women. I wish I didn't know about this kind of thing, or that it wasn't as common as it is. But I can't deny when I was this age I could have fallen for this BS, from someone, as high school kids are just that: kids. Their brains are not fully developed and not mature enough to make decisions, that also being consent to sex. At that age, you are susceptible and want to believe what people (men) tell you......I was in high school before internet but that is merely the latest tool for an age old dirty scheme......a guy once told me he could count on one hand how many girls he's known have NOT been prey to a dude like Lucas Chansler. Now he has a teenage daughter.....sad but serious.....I am grateful for the advice, education and warnings I got, this from various men and women, young and old, fellow students, along the way, at that time and later; they were a life saver.
Ignorance is bliss, for a short while, til you suddenly can't afford to be anymore. When you find out, it's too late. So don't trust anyone and educate yourselves! It can hurt to find out the truth about someone you believed in and let into your life. But better not to have them in it. Below is a link to an excellent article on sociopaths. I believe Lucas Chansler is one. One of their characteristics is a vacant stare.....like they are looking into a void. Another is lack of emotion or the ability to process empathy in their brains. Lack of fear or impulse control is often another factor. KNOW what these characteristics are as you are in serious danger if you let anyone like this into your life. I know of a case of a very famous one. This person used their position (which she did not earn or deserve, by the way) to steal, cheat, even kill probably. Many people were afraid to speak up because this person is rich and famous. If people around you are worshipping someone, they are probably brainwashed. Get away from them, don't let it happen to you. By writing about this I risk invoking this person's wrath.....which is very real. But some things have to be said, regardless. Don't be swept up in their charm, as it's a facade; and an endless song and dance. They are full of drama and solipsism; everything is about them; and if fear doesn't work to draw you in they will switch to pity. It's not them who are wrong, it's the masses of people and an admixture of authority figures (the pope, the nuns at school, their parents, the Argentinian Prime Minister.....ect. ect. ) who have "misunderstood" them. You will be convinced but in the back of your head something is "off." I learned that that is the thing to listen to. Kind of like a "bullshit detector." Because that's what it is. It's a lie: they were not misunderstood; these people were simply unfooled. But for that reason, hated by her.
Heed the warning signs, and KNOW what you are dealing with!
http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html#
*Apologies: as I had previously published this in draft form very rough, from
my phone.
I am a little confused myself as I found two articles on this dated several months apart one
.....but anyway
Monday, July 13, 2015
Lucas Chansler in prison for exploiting underage girls
Fortunately this lowlife
"sextortionist" was caught, convicted...... sentenced to 105 years. Ugh! If gps is tracked (by whom?) I'm holding back from saying more......apologies as I published this in draft form very rough, from my phone. But here are the articles:
(a little confused myself as I found two articles on this dated several months apart.....but anyway)
(sorry for the confusion I was writing this as plural "they" ect because there was another similar case of a man pretending to be Justin Bieber (yeah, you read right) and tricking naive girls into undressing on camera and worse.....call it a form of rape, really. I wish I didn't know about this kind of thing, or that it wasn't as common as it is. But I can't deny when I was this age I could have fallen for this BS, from someone, as high school kids are just that: kids. Their brains are not fully developed and not mature enough to make decisions, that also being consent to sex. At that age, you are susceptible and want to believe what people (men) tell you......I was in high school before internet but that is merely the latest tool for an age old dirty scheme......a guy once told me he could count on one hand how many girls he's known have NOT been prey to a dude like Lucas Chansler. Now he has a teenage daughter.....sad but serious.....I am grateful for the advice, education and warnings I got they were a life saver)
Ignorance is bliss, for a short while, til you suddenly can't afford to be anymore. When you find out, it's too late. So don't trust anyone and educate yourselves! It can hurt to find out the truth about someone you believed in and let into your life. But better not to have them in it.
"sextortionist" was caught, convicted...... sentenced to 105 years. Ugh! If gps is tracked (by whom?) I'm holding back from saying more......apologies as I published this in draft form very rough, from my phone. But here are the articles:
(a little confused myself as I found two articles on this dated several months apart.....but anyway)
(sorry for the confusion I was writing this as plural "they" ect because there was another similar case of a man pretending to be Justin Bieber (yeah, you read right) and tricking naive girls into undressing on camera and worse.....call it a form of rape, really. I wish I didn't know about this kind of thing, or that it wasn't as common as it is. But I can't deny when I was this age I could have fallen for this BS, from someone, as high school kids are just that: kids. Their brains are not fully developed and not mature enough to make decisions, that also being consent to sex. At that age, you are susceptible and want to believe what people (men) tell you......I was in high school before internet but that is merely the latest tool for an age old dirty scheme......a guy once told me he could count on one hand how many girls he's known have NOT been prey to a dude like Lucas Chansler. Now he has a teenage daughter.....sad but serious.....I am grateful for the advice, education and warnings I got they were a life saver)
Ignorance is bliss, for a short while, til you suddenly can't afford to be anymore. When you find out, it's too late. So don't trust anyone and educate yourselves! It can hurt to find out the truth about someone you believed in and let into your life. But better not to have them in it.
Thursday, July 09, 2015
Sorry to be MIA back.....:-)
I have written a lot actually just have not typed but now comes the arduous task of doing so. Three weeks ago I survived (thank you, as I'm sure it was intervention but don't discuss) a violent sexual and physical attack from someone I had thought was a friend. I am grateful to have gotten out alive and with just a few bruises. It is my heartfelt belief and hope that everyone gets a second chance like I did and I know there is nothing to be gained in this for anyone. The signs may be there but not clear as they are not always obvious. I thought I knew this person and could trust him but neither turned out to be the case. That usually is not, at first or even in the middle, the side they show. Sometimes they do things that are nice and helpful it's a Jekyll and Hyde thing. But this person is severely damaged and nearly destroyed me and himself. It's very sad, and ugly. In the end I just feel sad for him but also know that there needs to be even more security around the city because any woman or girl is a target for this and can end up in the same situation. It's been happening rampantly and it has nothing to do with what you do, where you go .....something has to be done. I can't trust anyone not that I ever really did. There is overwhelming violence perpetrated against women and much of the time as it did with me pornography plays a factor. I have an active.....intense aversion to porn I don't think it should be illegal if it's between consenting human adults ect. But it was one of the main breakup factors in all my relationships. It soured my opinion of these men, too. But porn is a product of men and is built-in.....that I was pressured into transforming into this fantasy ideal rather than be accepted as I am, me, not that. And I will never be "that" .....this I say doesn't make me anti sex but I was exposed to stuff I wish I'd never seen..... and NONE of it was anything I had wanted to see or had looked for. It's sick, absolutely sick. I have an equal right to voice my opinion as "they" theirs as I have just stated. To speak up is not to censor but to add to the mix and there that's mine.
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