boring fourth of july

Happy Blood Day! I should stop. I'm drinking sangria, watching Britney Spears downstairs with Garrett's friend Sean and we're both being antisocial, actually that is also Garrett's roommate who is in her room with her friend. Garrett and his friends are on the roof but I don't want to go there cause it freaks me out, I'm scared of the ladder I have to climb, and I'm dizzy and tired from the alcohol. So I'm very happy to have a solo party.

It was two years ago today that the bike Garrett made for me was stolen, and he was so mad at me. I managed to find the kid who took it and after a three week ordeal got it back. Back in another life, two summers ago.

There was such a strong, positive vibe then, to use another cliche, and there was so much optimism and it was really intense. But people seem defeated now in so many ways, and it's very draining. So we have these motherfuckers running things, but Emma Goldman said, if I can't dance I don't want to be part of your revolution. I have little control over what others do but I have my own little art to express so.......I mean, yeah, I'm mad. Really mad. I'm moody. I'm afraid. But I'm not going to just shrivel up. I can't. I'm inspired, now! I just want to make something crazy and colorful and yeah, throw it in people's faces. Make them think, and react.

Now I'm listening to Sasha and Digweed and despite the "difficult" crowd I'm glad I saw John Digweed instead of lame Girl Nation. Just being blunt here. I mean, why should I go somewhere else....? Just because someone's bothering me, well, they don't have a claim on the space. This is the right decision. I know it like I know the sky is blue.