I was thinking about what Simone de Beauvoir wrote about when she described the ennui, the boredom, of the upper middle classes, Hollywood, the "tiresome duties." Because she nailed it: I used to be dragged out to Mother and Sonny's house in the Hamptons and the boredom out there is overwhelming--it just enveloped...well me anyway....like a rape. Harsh, you can say, but that's what it felt like. The boredom of people with too much money, too much time on their hands, and no real creativity or intelligence. I mean, what is the point of a 15 room mansion? Seriously....

I could never rest easy if my money came at the expense of others. I couldn't enjoy it. It would always be in the corner of my eyes. The people I went to junior high with, who gave me so much shit about my animal testing protests--it's like, they don't care. They don't care about anyone except themselves, and believe that is the right way to live. Maybe that's what is written about on that Stargods Web site--sociopaths, people with no empathy. Am I too daring writing about this? I've heard their sentiments over and over again, my whole life.