you're a feminist when

you realize your personal problems are not just yours individually but political, and you stop blaming yourself for the bad circumstances you're in. You don't blame yourself or shame yourself if you're raped or harassed. You don't blame other victims. You stop telling yourself and others that things will get better once you try harder or change your attitude.

Why is it after all these years men are still in control in relationships? Why am I made to feel grateful when they call? Or shamed if they don't? Men have too much power; it's not that easy to go to war with them. It's overwhelming. But that doesn't make it right. I've just heard and read one horror story after another. There needs to be another movement. I just don't know how it will happen. Sisterhood was blind, too general a concept. I wish that the world were a peaceful place but it's not; to keep lamenting how it should be that way is just turning a blind eye. I'm not at peace, my family never was, the world isn't; the pain is unendurable at times. But I am mad. I have had enough. I made a mistake with these people and I can't just say what's done is done: it's tearing me apart and I need to do something. I don't know what. But I do.