I'm so angry....maybe cause of an incident with my family last night, cause of the situation with D in which I believe I was tricked, terribly, the treatment women get by men in public, or even women's treatment of each other......the inequality that exists when I was raised and told we're equal, our problems are solved, so don't complain, don't make excuses.....
and by and large, none of that was true. We were told a big lie. And it's not new, either. We were always told that. Maybe it's the liberal vs. radical debate, that's part of it. I don't see myself or women as "peacemakers" and, really, if you have eyes you can see the world is not peaceful. That's a lie, also. But meanwhile, people are in pain, the problems of life are real, and there's no end to it. I don't feel serene. Maybe I'm alone in feeling this way. But I'm not. I was raised to be loving, forgiving and kind, but I.......am nothing like that. Am I a disappointment? I don't think I'll ever feel kind and at rest or whatever it is I'm supposed to be or feel. I don't want to feel that way. I am not that way.
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