sick of being eroticized every time I go out

I went to Cafe Pick Me Up where I go all the time. I'm tired and starving. They don't have much of a selection. On the train, in a restaurant, fucking EVERYWHERE I have to deal with "attention from men" and I'm sick of it, and really mad. I have to deal with being stared at, men deciding if they want to hit on me or not. Being rated or made to feel grateful that I'm wanted. And every female treated the same. But too often, women contribute to it.

At this gym I go to, this girl was sitting really close to a guy in this skimpy top, and giggling while talking to her girl friend, while this dumb jock type was leering at her and practically hovering over her. Hello? No one deserves to be raped, but in America that kind of body language and behavior makes these guys think you're loose and it's only a matter of time before one of them puts it to the test. I hear one bad story after another, like someone I know being told by a guy, "In my country, women will always be inferior." But women too often don't resist. What I read of de Beauvoir says that women aren't trained to be aggressive, political.....and it's up against men who have thousands of years of martial arts, politics, engineering, and nation building behind them. Women didn't create cities, rocket ships, governments, armies.....or the CIA. Sad but true. All we've done is ape men, and that's considered equality. De Beauvoir wrote women have no religion of their own. So many women are narcissistic, and stupid.....so just trying to get respect in public is an uphill battle.....and the women's movement....the problem is they underestimated their opponent's strength, so they suffered a big loss I mean sorry but it's the truth. Still, change is possible. I think those working to create justice in the world will always be a minority and encounter huge waves of resistance and anger along the way.

De Beauvoir also wrote of how women will throw themselves at religious statues without stopping to think they, and the churches and temples, are man-made. The same way, today, they throw themselves at celebrities without stopping to think they're human, that the media, photographers and reporters are all human, that their image is manufactured. They degrade themselves, but that used to be considered virtuous.

Cause now as ever, women aren't valued for intelligence (there are too many brilliant men in the world) but for youth and beauty and the ability to raise a child. Child rearing is hard work but children are exhausting to deal with, and we're under pressure to always be pretty but makeup gets smeared, the bag, no matter how expensive, gets torn, stolen or worn, the clean house gets dirty the next day, the washed dishes will pile up in the sink in an hour, sauce spills, nail polish chips, and really women's work, the work that's necessary for survival but is uncreative, leaves no individual achievement, is endless and eventually mind-numbing. I've worked those kinds of menial jobs and at the end of the day I was too tired to think, and always bitter and angry, and afraid. The work is unrewarding, and you're existing on the lowest level. So because women and slaves were around to do this work men could study, write, draw, do math equations, take long walks with which to think, design cities, buildings and rocket ships, and trained to be aggressive, not decorative.