super tired and wired

Shakespeare wrote a sonnet about this......read it in high school.  Boy I have been an errant daughter with regards to poetry just don't read it like I used to.


By William Shakespeare


Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear respose for limbs with travel tired,
But then begins a journey in my head
To work my mind, when body's work's expired.
For then my thoughts (from far where I abide)
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see.
Save that my soul's imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which like a jewel (hung in ghastly night)
Makes black night beauteous, and her old face new.
Lo thus by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee, and for my self, no quiet find.




It seems everyone back then wrote beautifully, even those who were not professional writers.


I actually wrote several pages just earlier today I just sat down and poured out my thoughts on so much like what I went through a year ago and dubious actions of people which ended up hurting me.....it's so hard for me to focus but I am reading mostly off the internet. How the police had let me down in my crisis with Ted did not make a report nor did they take my complaint seriously even though it was actually valid. Not to mention a so-called victims advocate organization whose response was questionable. Because so many people are targeted and terrorized with very little understanding or knowledge of what is happening very little defense or support.....given that these are out of the range of most people's everyday experiences or else ..... For me, being blissfully ignorant was never an option. But due to failure on those who were supposed to be helping me to follow through with what I told them or write anything down or give me anything that would have helped my case I was not able to get many of the things I am legally entitled to or a restraining order and this madman is still free and will continue to hurt people. It turns out there is and has been a rampant epidemic of domestic violence in law enforcement around the world I would say that explains a few things given one officer's hostility to me and protesting too much what I had to tell them. Sadly the report on Ted from the site ReportYourEx is gone as well. The stuff that was said I can tell you is absolutely true and though there are women who "cry rape" and make up stories about their ex out of a personal vendetta it's an ugly, painful business divulging personal harrowing affairs partly due to the likelihood that you won't be believed and you'll be dumped in the "nuts and sluts" ghetto of accusers who to some's way of thinking brought an attack upon themselves somehow or are so mentally defective that nothing they say is believable and they are incapable of remembering anything that happens to them. But when you are confronted with a person's hostility, anger and attacks toward you personally, no matter how ludicrous and untrue.....you are psychologically wounded, shocked and confused. It's very scary. Therein lies the answer as I have no reason to unnecessarily put myself through something like that. There is an article on "Psychological Terrorism" in which among other things your feelings and the things you say are subtly denied or ignored or twisted and you are subtly made out to be a dangerous, or bad person; yet this is by someone with an advantage over you and power in a situation.....this person is manipulating both your guilt and fear. So this cop who got in my face and yelled at me when I am the one who called them and tried to make me look like the bad one.....interrupted and belittled me is likely who knows what but given what I discovered there is such rampant domestic abuse among our world's finest and I mean the real thing when I say that.....one continuous harrowing tale after another it all falls into the Horrible Shit category and is seemingly endless. So.....don't expect a lot of, if any, help from them. I hear protests from some people that "not all cops are bad" I know great.....so to those be a shining example to your comrades in blue.