waiting

I started going to the o debra twins open mike never thought it'd have such a profound impact on my life so much has happened you just never know where things will take you. I met this guy at Veselka who is homeless, apparently, young, seems nice. I felt sorry for him and let him stay at my place one night and he wouldn't leave me alone. He didn't force himself or anything just kept coming on to me....then I read this article on sociopaths and con artists and how they play on sympathy and come from far away places and thought is this him?

so I wait and wait, for the phone to ring, for him, waiting for him....it's hell it's hell and when he does arrive it's stupid and pointless yet I still want to see him it burns away at me how I want to see him I tried I tried I tried to disengage myself I did but I don't feel better only want to see him I wish I wouldn't couldn't care I just wish he were here I know it's crazy it's not love it's lust it's love maybe love is hell love is crazy love can destroy it's pain pain why didn't anyone tell me that?.....