wipe the tape clean?

That's an expression in this book The Robber Bride where a woman is told that to forget someone who screwed them over. I try to do this with db I try I try I tell myself this I try try to put him behind me but why can't I? Why does he just keep coming back? I see the number of his address everywhere. I think about stabbing him he stabs me it's hell, so painful. Wipe the tape clean! She says in the book. But the other one can't, she says you've never had a dose of this person. If it were that simple I'd have done it. Sometimes I want to stab myself to get rid of this feeling. To feel something else. This is a perpetual dull knife twisting in me. When will it ever go away? I've had bad experiences with other guys but I moved on and forgot them. Why is it not happening with him?

hey ho hey hey ho
no more free sex for you
no more lies our past is ours
free love is ours
so pay up pay up

sex work cheer

Sex workers union cheer::: sent by Mary Xmas


(I changed a little the original can be found on the radical cheerleaders web site)
BOP! smack! booty slap
RAISE YOUR FIST AND TAKE IT BACK!
hey ho, hey hey ho strippers have workers rights you know hey ho, hey hey ho hookers have workers rights you know the right to work alone, not with a pimp
to take the day off when you feel sick
to walk the streets day or night
free from violence free ta fight
no one forced me no one's exploiting me
I'm the only one who supports me
hey ho, hey hey ho
your ugly sexism has ta go bitch!
enough is enough! the cunts must rise up
didn't sleep today
gotta work my way so kiss the back of my butt
shake yer booty to the ground, turn it upside down!! cuz we had sex with annabel chong

so kiss the back of my butt kiss the back of my butt

so some performers

at the odebs are good some awesome awesome individuals are there......but this one....I don't know if they were a couple or what......they got up with their accoustic guitars they were SO pretentious and annoying one of them said to the sound guy something like, "Can you turn up the reverb on the mike?" Jesus, who do they think they are? At the Bowery Poetry Club open mike whoaaaa ....and their annoying "folk" songs a la Suzanne Vega with these lyrics like....those folkie ones like, "And her eyes are in my dreams.....Lisa walks into a coffee shop and sits next to the window...." I know am I harsh? I'm too bad, sometimes.....

waiting

I started going to the o debra twins open mike never thought it'd have such a profound impact on my life so much has happened you just never know where things will take you. I met this guy at Veselka who is homeless, apparently, young, seems nice. I felt sorry for him and let him stay at my place one night and he wouldn't leave me alone. He didn't force himself or anything just kept coming on to me....then I read this article on sociopaths and con artists and how they play on sympathy and come from far away places and thought is this him?

so I wait and wait, for the phone to ring, for him, waiting for him....it's hell it's hell and when he does arrive it's stupid and pointless yet I still want to see him it burns away at me how I want to see him I tried I tried I tried to disengage myself I did but I don't feel better only want to see him I wish I wouldn't couldn't care I just wish he were here I know it's crazy it's not love it's lust it's love maybe love is hell love is crazy love can destroy it's pain pain why didn't anyone tell me that?.....

ground zero destroyed my ipod

whoever is responsible for the WTC disaster owes me a new ipod. It was working fine until I brought it down by the river when I was dogsitting for my mom's dog and it just up and died. Now it won't turn on....just black. It's the hauntings of that area it must be. Creepy right? But now I have no music, and I need that!

here's another Colombian video for you.....

in the year of our lord 1992

KLF seriously check out this video these guys are geniuses. I listened to this tape thousands of times.....

I'm getting addicted to you tube

my youtube debut

me and all my brilliance

there'll be more to come.........

A

I love you; deep down I believe you're a good person with the best intentions. I have that tenderness toward you as much as I'd like to ....well, not like you. I made excuses, told her I was busy/working...........thing is, you made your decision; I made mine. Don't try to come between me and my choices, you who know nothing about my life. Or at least relatively little. I appreciate your caring for me but all that nearly did me in. I can't be around you.

happy 'ween! and all saint's day

This one was crazy crazy I went to two far out awesome parties last night but I have to say I feel "cleansed" in a weird way. Stuff that normally stresses me out doesn't so much, now. I got dressed up as a turn of the century tart I bought this costume in one of those all night sex shops. It was pricey but ultimately worth it....I had entertained a fantasy of performing in one of those for a while now. It made me highly fuckable.....interesting, because I so rarely really dress up. Now I'm back to sweats........and feeding the cats..............