today

It's my mother's birthday, who was at Ground Zero when the towers fell. She saw everything. Happy Birthday Mother! I think there's just so much negative energy associated with Sept. 11 it's still lingering. Today has been so fucking bad, for me. My cat made a mess in the bathroom and of course my roommate complained (she wrote a note she could have just called or knocked on the door but I know, it's my problem, my fault) and I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt I was in a cemetary and someone was telling me (a voice) your father looks like this now (a corpse) you want to see him? There was a corpse in a grave. I was elevated in the dream, looking down at the corpse. I was trying to look away but then it felt like it was right next to me, back on the bed. I woke up panting, as dawn was just starting to hit.