essex st, cont'd

so I know a lot of people have been waiting for the next in this sequence:

so.....where did I leave off?

I'm out the door. The street. Freedom. I didn't die. I'm out in the world. In safety. I had watched relentlessly the documentary on Joel Rifkin and ......you just never know. You take every precaution, and absolutely this job is not for the reckless, self destructive or anyone carrying religious or sexual hang ups from childhood. But no matter how smart or careful you are there's always a chance of anything, life carries no guarantees. But you have to take risks once in a while.

I'm a little disoriented.....so......where do I go? There's a bar next door. Why do I choose to go right there where I can be found.....and not just get the fuck out of there? Well, what can he do anyhow?


I think I'm in this place, a nice enough one, clean and airy. I step out, for some reason, and this guy's building is right next door. I look up at the window, why not sure. Look down. Down again. There are two used condoms .......different colors?on the ground. I jump back. It couldn't be.....did he throw those out the window? I had had vodka and OJ there which to his credit he was nice enough to give me. I had blow on me, an extravagance, you know, I shouldn't but I have my excuses.

So....this place has two floors. I head upstairs. Order a drink....wine? I have to have something. A guy approaches me, a frat type. He seems pretty decent, and we start a conversation. I wonder if I should.....but something in me doesn't or won't. We end up talking for half an hour or so......
he invites me to his place with some friends of his. We go downstairs......ugh....is this boring? Oh...so on and on......I'm getting back into life, my adrenaline back down. All is sort of normal, again. As this guy and I get downstairs, in the crowd, I see him, from upstairs. He came back. He's coming toward me. "I knew I'd find you here...." "Is this....someone you know or just some weirdo...." asks my friend. "He's um, I met him before...." I say.

So....now I'm feeling the effects of what I had. Somehow I have to get on the train and go back home.....this is the hazard of living in brooklyn, dealing with the L train and the G. It became a city by itself, in the winter, with hordes of people sitting there waiting, and the guitar player I would always see. I knew him from a play he'd been in.


TBC.....



freedom = mercy = freedom = mercy = freedom =