oh lovelies

Monday, September 24, 2007

so I was followed, yet again

walking home on Myrtle Ave when I went out to get some dinner. This Mexican guy in a yellow shirt was walking behind me (this another reason why I can't stand people walking closely behind me) and he turned when I turned. The street was getting darker, and I had my suspicions about him because ....well, I could just tell. I started walking closer to Myrtle, turned around and saw him staring at me, and yelled out, "Is there some reason why you're following me?" I started walking back and said, "I'm gonna fucking report you." Actually I yelled it. These Orthodox men saw me and were staring at both of us. I ended up walking the long way back to my place. I had to go out of my way because of this idiot. I don't know what his motives were; if he was trying to flirt or get under my skin or something worse. You don't know their intentions until it's too late. I wasn't dressed at all attractive: I couldn't have looked much frumpier. I was wearing jeans, a jean jacket, my hair in a ponytail....and sneakers. The same Converse that are de rigeur at all of these cheering/protests I've gone to and around the hip/activist communities...but I looked pretty butch, really. I was feeling unattractive, too. And I was in a bad mood. I don't want to say anything that will put anyone in a bad place, but I was feeling let down by men and women. Between what David B did and ....well, I could go on and on.....but women are just as bad; they're vindictive and vicious and I just feel like there's no one out there, really. There's no one to turn to. I don't know why women are so hostile to me, why I make them so angry. I can see it in their eyes and feel it. Out of the blue, they're this way. Maybe they have borderline personality disorder or any number of things. Maybe it isn't me; it's them. I'm trying not to........

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