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I know there are many groups working to confront street harassers. I am all for women standing up for themselves and fighting back. But realistically we're confronting well-trained soldiers here. Safety IS an issue, and has a lot to do, I believe, with why most women don't respond to these guys. I've been through many confrontations in my life and it's an ugly, painful thing to go through. Plus, it nearly got me in bad situations. Groups like Hollaback have the right intentions, but you may get a guy who freaks on you if you snap his picture. I did that to a couple guys on the street once and they just made a joke of it. I just don't think that is going to change their behavior. What IS the solution? Anti-street harassment legislation? That may actually be--I'm all for grass roots mobilizing but really are we going to get all women to take up Uzis and become Navy Seals to fight these guys off--in an ideal world that would happen but it's not the world we're living in. I don't know. I don't know. And a part of me felt really empty after the counter harassment parties, even though I know these women had their hearts in the right place. But it felt ....like I wasn't reaching anyone, just creating or exacerbating negative situations. I am NOT saying we should just do nothing or wait for a law to be passed and just sit passively meanwhile, but the solutions so far have seemed superficial to me, and frustrating. There's no issue in the world quite like this one, and names like "Ëve teasing" just cuten the meaning, make it look like flirting.

I'm pissed. I live with this feeling every day.

And I just got back from a family get together which stressed the hell out of me. I love my mother but I can't deal with her and I was on the verge of never wanting to see her, or any of them, ever again. I finally was willing to forgive her, though anyone else I wouldn't, but it is the same result over and over whenever I go there. Now, I come home and the cats want food, my room is a mess, I have to go to the store for coffee and contact lens rinse..... and it just never, never ends, you know? So as soon as I come back from the store I am going to try to mellow out with wine and a joint. That will maybe restore my sanity.