sea mirror again.....getting this!

  Hey hey 's been forever since I've written but I am now.......help me more to come!


this is the sea, this is a mirror 
all of them are me
all of them are me



I'm  on  ice 
I'm under water
I'm on ice
I'm under water


I'm in a mirror
something falls wet, I'm 
in a mirror, something falls wet 
I'm in a mirror, something falls wet






sea is the mirror 
mirror is the sea 
return what's lost to me 


sea is the mirror 
mirror is the sea 
return what's lost to me



it's meant to be that's mine
meant to be that's mine
meant to be that's mine 
you want it you grab it 
you want it it's yours 
it it's yours

Fargo: Kidnapping Scene (& more)

God this scene is incredibly disturbing but crazy I was dying watching this .....

Bad Santa - Reindeers

Billy Bob Thornton is so awesome.....!DD..... this is one of the films, along with equally hilarious Griswold Family Xmas this xmas......

10 months pregnant & using the pole

I feel better seeing this it can be done.....!

Pennies @ Under St Marks did my act!

A crazy day full of several blunders (mine) and general craziness in a lot of different places...... .........! but anyway, this material I worked so hard on I finally did it! Got my music finally......


So after the show I was walking on first avenue, I overheard this girl saying something like, the stuff performed tonight was "weird"......I was really thrown off by this at first. But I can take it as a back handed compliment now.....I mean if she'd said it was "bad" or "boring" that would not be good. But the fact that she thought it was "weird" shows it got her attention, got her confused...and thinking. So she wasn't bored. So I and others must have done something right..............

Devo - Girl U Want

This is another record my father randomly had when he lived in Chicago.....the summer I visited him I had some skater friends who introduced me and next thing I knew there was a crazy out of control party at Dad's apartment.....guys jumping through the kitchen window.....anyway. I mean, we were teenagers.

Speaking of, I dreamt of Dad last night....that I was in Chicago visiting....and we were driving a pickup truck. I got in the driver's seat (and I never drive, my license is pretty much a bad picture and that's it) and was driving....then I remembered I had a performance in NYC I had to get back for. We're going through customs in the airport. I get on the plane, back to NYC. I go into the theater where the show is going on....there are many female dancers in like sequined outfits. One of them, wearing red, with black hair (maybe cause I was reading Anne Sexton's Snow White poem) is telling me, "Get in the kitchen!" I'm not dressed to perform. They all go on stage....this was a really vivid one. I slept again for like 12 hours....making up for what I lacked before. Now, I need to memorize my poems and do ..........

Level 42 - Lessons In Love

I used to watch this band as a kiddie kid these were like 80s uber cool

Sea Mirror

  Hey hey 's been forever since I've written but I am now.......help me more to come!


this is the sea, this is a mirror 
all of them are me
all of them are me



I'm  on  ice 
I'm under water
I'm on ice
I'm under water

I'm in a mirror
something falls wet, I'm 
in a mirror, something falls wet 
I'm in a mirror, something falls wet




sea is the mirror 
mirror is the sea 
return what's lost to me 


sea is the mirror 
mirror is the sea 
return what's lost to me


it's meant to be that's mine
meant to be that's mine
meant to be that's mine 
you want it you grab it 
you want it it's yours 
it it's yours

writing earthquake

Just as I was in hell and high water and freaking out over a .....cyberstalker......the earthquake in Indonesia happened. 7.3 magnitude. That place really gets hit bad. it's an archipelago......all broken up. It's all that......"bad energy" is such a cliche.....or "evil" whatever you want to call it. Or maybe just destruction. Murder. I was watching the Kill Bill scene...Daryl Hannah calling  Black Mamba "death incarnate." Got the death card twice in the tarot. Had a horrid emotional moment. Saw that word. That name. That picture. Maybe she is death incarnate. Sorry that's harsh but what am I supposed to think? As someone who is ......I won't say "bad"  or "evil" even though that exists....I'll say "not benevolent" or "destructive" or........? Call it what you will. The same thing happened about six years ago. Seven years ago. I was at midnight mass, xmas eve, they sane "Silent Night" turned out the lights, lit candles....I got in an argument, went home to brooklyn, woke up the next morning and the tsunami hit.

But anyway. This is not good.

thank you

ooh

sure come on my site read this and get the hell off and away from me forever.........I mean it. Or else. I'll leave the rest unsaid.

ALi G writes a book

I think this is the best or one of the best of his......such a riot

The Trailer Fight - Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (7/12) Movie CLIP (2004) HD

I love this film....this scene is just.....it's really on fire! Super chick--ee......

Black Mambas

African snake.......pretty bad bastard....!

11. Brothers Love Dubs - 1-800 Ming (Rui Da Silva Remix) - GU019 - CD1 b...

I know I go on and on about this but this particular....what is it now? A CD? An album? A ipod list whatever it is now......it has....I do think this is one of the BEST recordings ever.....I know this is morbid, but I bought this back in the summer 2000 and this is one of the rare instances it's worth actually buying the whole CD cause you'd have to listen to it straight through. Just because I'm the cheapest person in the world. I don't buy anything. I don't steal it. I just don't HAVE anything cause I don't spend. But this is one of the exceptions. There. That's a compliment from me. But I ......listened to this all that year and through the summer. I kind of....in my head I associate it with......well never mind I won't go into it. Anyway.

treat others as you want to be treated then maybe they won't run from you

I'm always hearing men say that nice guys finish last. Really it's more like this: someone acts like an asshole to people and does terrible things to them; then doesn't understand why people can't stand them and don't want to be around them. You fuck people over then wonder why they don't want to....well I could be crude but I won't be. You know. Is it really that hard to figure out? Why....you know, if people are tensing up, looking away, leaving the room as you walk into it......if people move away as you move toward them, if they are blowing you off, if they are leaving you......you have to ask yourself why at some point and maybe you did something. Now, not all the time is this true. But often it is. You treat people badly you're mean to everyone, or some, what do you expect? Do you expect them to like you?


Conversely, on another subject, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I did wrong or caused harm. I'm really sorry.

There are those, however, who did this to me and purposely, knowingly so. Yes there are those who have it worse. Yes, sometimes I fuck up and make my own bed. But not always. Sometimes it IS the fault of others. This unfortunately happened in the past 24 hours....I should not have to suffer for this dirtball's wrongful behavior. You can't make excuses for yourself when you're grown up, well into your 30s.....hell you're not five years old anymore. OK. there. That's it for now.

Fleetwood Mac Not That Funny 0001

Shulamith Firestone wrote about "The Myth of Childhood." I really was never a kid. Ever. Age four and five....I didn't listen to little kids' music.....even then I was into dance stuff, I mean like disco/house/club music.........I had some friends my age, and some enemies too. Most of my friends were older than me, many age 40 and older. That's when I was around seven. No, they weren't molesting me...........lol.........Where am I going with this.....? this is how I found out about this stuff.....much of it.....

My thing for Daryl Hall, age 10 or so

Too young to really understand it all......just because there's a part of me that likes somewhat, not too, feminine men......I said before I'm not into blond men. He's probably one of very few exceptions......very interesting and very cool person in reality............ , you know....................I guess....I said this before.....but in Chicago growing up I was exposed to the creme de la creme of artists, socialites, dancers.....my dad's neighbor was a record promoter, so we were constantly getting previews of everything that was coming out, before it went to the radio stations. A lot of the most, the  better more brilliant stuff didn't make the airwaves. The other material on these artists' records is often much better, but mostly unheard. That is, until I come into the picture.

slept slept and slept

when I got back to the apt around 7am earlier today I fell asleep, in my sweat clothes......didn't wake up til around 5:30 in the evening. Showered.....fell asleep for another 6 hours. I haven't had that much sleep in years.....don't think. I feel like I'm not in myself, but I'm still alive.

After working on my new material through the night cuz.....for all it's problems, the place I go to is open 24 hours now for finals....but there's no one here.....so I can do my stuff with almost no distractions even though it's cold, bleak and depressing in this neighborhood......especially in winter. But I'm grateful beyond words for this.....really. For this reason, now that my gym is not open 24 hours anymore ( and my favorite club is closed ( but there's this for now. And all the weirdos who hang out here at night know me now. At my old gym I could go in at 1am rehearse whatever I was working on in the exercise room upstairs and no one would bother me. Then get on the train at 5 am. This time realistically there's no one around and I can really concentrate. it's hard, however, to read my own words. That's the challenge. I need to memorize it still. Tomorrow.....

Confetti Heart!

whee

my hard work's paying off......