phone broken but back.......

for the first time in probably eight or nine months...since before Sandy.....I ran on the bike path by the west river in Manhattan. This on a Sunday after a pretty tumultuous weekend. My phone was broken when a friend....I suppose having good intentions.....tried to fix the headphone jack but then the whole thing the screen stopped working. Have to replace tomorrow. At least I have my roommate's phone and will probably stay with a friend until I can get it working again. It's not so bad....kind of peaceful without the text messages going off constantly. I stopped at Barnes and Nobles.....I love to read and please people keep buying books! Literacy is a beautiful thing....and there's such a wealth of information in the pages. For now I have the New York Times. I read this article on a former child prodigy conservative pundit turned hippie. Watch out for what you wish for. I am very liberal......but.....well it's too bad the country is so torn apart by ideology. But so it is everywhere I guess.
Another article on punk rock.....ha! I was discussing the Sex Pistols with a friend. He said they were poseurs.....well, who knows? I was never a fan, really.....but I passed the Chelsea Hotel today and remembered, yeah flashback.......back when we were about 20 a friend of mine, this girl Alex, and her boyfriend and other friend and I hung out there. I can be an asshole sometimes. I wasn't very nice to this boy who made a pass at me. I snapped at this guy who got in my face today.....I know what they say about harassment and all but men are so relentless. I don't want to be mean, you know. I guess if you step over someone's personal boundaries and surprise them in ways they aren't ready for it's a knee jerking thing.......anyway I am digressing so back....in another life.....I was at Pace University and miserable needing to get away so my friends and I stayed in a room she rented at the Chelsea. She was obsessed with the Sex Pistols and the whole Nancy Spungen story. I always admired the Clash who were kind of sprung into being in the same scene. My friend nearly died drinking in the room we were in......but was saved at the 11th hour by her boyfriend and she is alive and well now and moved on. Oh yes...when I was thirteen I wrote a letter to the White House. Stamped delivered the whole bit....on farm animal cruelty. A month later I got a letter back by the Department of Agriculture....we had been encouraged to write the White House because they do write back. Pretty cool, huh?

80s and waking and Howard Jones

looking for new dance songs got on kind of an 80s trip......I did and mp3 search for Howard Jones. I got him singing "Things can only Get Better".....in a language I couldn't place...... so I looked him up....so Howard Jones is a Welsh, not British singer. Wiki fact for the day I guess. Growing up I barely knew what Wales was.....I assumed it was in England (I know thats really bad) then I developed a huge crush on a guy who was Welsh. Of course then I looked up all I could related......the language hasn't changed really much in thousands of years.....anyhow I find this stuff interesting......

"genius is pain" John Lennon

weary bleary eyed teary eyed yet I persist.....I could just blow off but something in me tortures me for "art" so I suffer.....put on some better music.....maybe Rob Zombie? or.....Black Box. I shall be the populist element.....was reading some stuff on Queen Victoria who was quite an eloquent writer.....calling feminism "mad, wicked folly" but the vote was yet won. So was birth control, but it would be another fifty years.

KLF on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28w2LVzxVkU&feature=youtube_gdata_player really it's not my intention to violate any copyright laws please don't hate me or sue me......but I found the lengthier version of this song ....."we had to pass the pyramid blaster...I make you shake you take you.....what they call the mu mu.....what time is love" listening to this doing my dance exercises and after reading the horrific news on the train. Ugh.....it made me sick. I myself.....I was telling a friend how I found out that way back when I was living in Chicago my friend and I had been wiretapped, our phones (landlines). We were nineteen then. Of course we were not terrorists, not violent, had done nothing illegal. So what right had "they" to tap our phones, violate our rights and invade our privacy this way? Indeed. But.....being I chose.....I don't take direct action I express how I feel artistically.....I am not putting myself on the line in a protest but forcing myself to do this grueling physical work to the point of terrible exhaustion......in moments of clarity you remember why.....where am I going with this? At nineteen I was going to school working dumb jobs on the side and watching movies at home.....seeing friends from time to time. The average kid. But.....anyway

political jihad at the expense of......

http://m.guardiannews.com/film/2013/apr/15/oliver-stone-america-went-wrong innocent people.....at the end of the day bodies pile up and who wins? I was reading the news on the bombing and hey I am all for justice. But a dead body is a dead body and someone else loses their life or loved one. Really I would say this is a continuation of the Moslem/Christian war ongoing......did it ever end? though not a lot will say it. America may be the land of religious freedom but it is still a Christian-dominated country. When have we ever had a non-Christian president? The Satanic conspiracy.....bogus. Have we ever had a Jewish, Moslem, Bhuddist, Wiccan president? Uh, no.....never. Perhaps......just running through my mind. Sad that in a power struggle between religious and political leaders civilians die for it. Sigh. The news is grim indeed.

and J Bird and Brodeur return to.....me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NCZ4l8FCFc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Henry Miller on Myrtle Ave

http://books.google.com/books?id=D9j8Ix_wnIQC&pg=PR20&lpg=PR20&dq=henry+miller+myrtle+avenue&source=bl&ots=mJfhi_1Gxr&sig=Lon0hXHgwcwd7qniNJCIqYnPyY8&hl=en&sa=X&ei=w_ljUd2SE8TB4AOE0YHoDA&ved=0CDoQ6AEwBA that is until I lived there.......the best of times the worst of times. In my life, that really is true. Kind of like the Ace of Swords the serene angelic clouds of heaven with the protruding sword. You can't make it look like aything other than what it is: there is not much of anything benevolent in a knife. To cut, to kill is its only purpose. Knowledge is power?

Joan Fontaine pic

http://www.google.com/search?q=joan+fontaine&hl=en&safe=off&client=ms-android-virgin-us&source=android-browser-type&v=133247963&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=yQhjUYG6J7fG4APuzoDYCg&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=320&bih=328&sei=1QhjUeq0D7Kj4AOYlIGgCg#biv=i%7C34%3Bd%7CLOhkLupLFQe2iM%3A one of my favorite actresses along with Vivien Leigh and Olivia de Havilland her sister

calico cross country

http://abcnews.go.com/m/story?id=14527262&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fhl%3Den%26redir_esc%3D%26client%3Dms-android-virgin-us%26source%3Dandroid-browser-type%26v%3D133247963%26qsubts%3D1365373432556%26q%3Dcat%2Btravels%2Bacross%2Bcountry%26v%3D133247963 of course I don't like that that poor cat could have been killed. but still. talk aout survival man! not just wild predators, human predators, cars whatnot......fucking amazing. all in these little guys that weigh five to eight pounds (kilos? like 3 maybe?)

super cat!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9WEORJhuSM&feature=youtube_gdata_player cats and dogs are amazing they have their own GPS in them. They can sense the earths natural geographic magnetic field and navigate. Comes from magratory evolution. This is so touching.

slain diplomat

http://m.cbsnews.com/storysynopsis.rbml?&pageType=world&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cbsnews.com%2F8301-202_162-57578325%2Fdad-of-slain-diplomat-it-was-a-great-adventure-for-her%2F&catid=57578325&nb_splitPage=6

so sorry only 25. Also from the Chicago suburbs......never heard of River Forest is this Lake Forest? I got word Justin's ex is at it again. She is truly a terrible human being hurting those who did nothing to her out of jealousy and her crazy obsession with a man who, believe me I can tell you, has long forgotten her and probably is feeding a few birds on the way to meet her. Between attacks I have gotten from her and this woman who moved in......people who hurt those innocent are not human beings. Its pretty horrifying. But go after someone unprovoked you have no business going after.....because why? Because this person exists and breathes and you are jealous of the space thy take up........you are a resentful taker and vacuous and have nothing to give......I warned Justin this woman would be his downfall it's not like he wasn't warned. I am privy to the inside scoop and I know what I am talking about. What kind of a person does that? Someone who cannot........ That does not make for a sympathetic scenario.

lover not a fighter but doesn't matter

Rhett Butler said it's hard winning a war with words. Hm.....that's debatable.
About what I wrote on that PIRG job. I said.......I am sorry if I insulted anyone because there are lots of people working these places hard and long and doing great deeds. When I said godawful jobs that meant from my perspective that it IS a terrifically hard job and was quite treacherous. I did learn though I guess in terms of pitching something. But it was not for me. I was terribly shy and it was torture approaching people.....I was gawky and goofy. Anyway. Hope that clarifies.
I said some awful things about someone. I don't like saying this. I was mad and also concerned because this person carries bad vibes with her and I spoke plainly my feelings. I have seen it happen people hanging around people who only drag them down. I warned this person not to let it happen to him. But you know I don't want to say that. I figured it's none of my business but this woman did some things to me so it became my business, you know? Sad that such the world but it doesn't have to be.
Sigh. I miss Thai food and cold sesame noodles. I miss Brooklyn. I am looking forward to moving on. And into .....well.....

pic

lauralauras (@lauramsaiter) tweeted at 7:08 PM on Thu, Apr 04, 2013:
me standing next to the toilet! at least I'm not ON it http://t.co/BKhoiuL0pM
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will never understand.....apologies

disclaimer: I know many pit bulls are nice dogs and of course they should be adopted out. There are many good people doing good deeds by taking the dogs into a loving home and properly training and caring for them. Of them I am not writing. But it makes me so mad......why do people adopt pit bulls (and then not responsibly train and control them)? ....it's not the dogs it's the owners. Eventually a little kid or another dog gets attacked. It's so awful I have had to pull dogs apart. Walking up the block with my laundry there was an incident....don't know the details nor do I want to. There are children cats dogs raccoons.....cats fight but they can manage themselves most of the time. It's horrible to be a witness to this and have no control. People have a responsibility to control their children and pets. A kid was running into people on purpose with a motorcycle........a teenage boy this was yesterday. But what can I do you know?

will never understand

it makes me so mad......why do people adopt pit bulls? Some are nice dogs....it's not the dogs it's the owners. Eventually a little kid or another dog gets attacked. It's so awful I have had to pull dogs apart. Walking up the block with my laundry there was an incident....don't know the details nor do I want to. There are children cats dogs raccoons.....cats fight but they can manage themselves most of the time. It's horrible to be a witness to this and have no control. People have a responsibility to control their children and pets. A kid was running into people on purpose with a motorcycle. But what can I do you know?

nap, suicide across the continent, dysfunctional super-anti hero

I did some ballet exercises which....dance is hard. I bathed, washed the floor, woke, got some soda from the deli.....was told by the guy who runs the laundry place nearby to get my stuff to wash now.....so rather than run I gathered all my dirty clothes which turned out to be the size of Mount Everest. Plus my lovely lavendar eco friendly soaps from the hippie store in the Village which I love. I am happy to say 6th Ave has changed little since I lived there as a teenager. It has retained its character unlike Bleeker St which is ......what words? I won't say. A polite word is unbearable. But 6th Ave has retained its charm. Its weirdness. Love it. So I went to the eco store and got products for my hair and trust me I have tried everything.....Giovanni is the best. And laundry stuff.
Next day I take a nap, wake and go to do wash. This movie is on the TV about a kid from a dysfunctional family (that topic to avoid) who becomes a mass murdering toxic avenger......really bizarre. Kansas decided life begins when the sperm hits the egg as a knee jerk to morning after. How sick. I am grateful to be in New York City. A pastors kid in California kills himself. I find out a well known actress filed for divorce on my birthday. A building collapses in Mumbai. I hope my friend over there is safe. I got some beautiful white soy candles and Indian incense yesterday at that place. The weather is warmer. I am ready.......I think.....

plan b more

I have heard stories of women in Chicago, where I am from, who were denied access to the pill by pharmacists........just unbelievable.....and couldn't get the pill.....one finally had an abortion. I personally have been lucky but that is not a reliable way of course.

Morning after plan b

what I have to say on this subject; although control over reproduction is far from the all encompassing solution to womens lives, it is of paramount importance, especially because the US is the only country in the world with a handful exceptions with no national child care or maternity leave. That is inexcusable. Also the truth about Plan B, in that I mean morning after pill, is that one can get it over the counter almost anywhere in the world without ID or a prescription except in the US.....BUT I am lucky to live in NEW YORK CITY where, as someone who has taken this pill three times, one can walk into a clinic and get it for nothing or get it at Rite Aid or Duane Reade for $40.......the catch is that I had to show ID even though I am over 16 when I went to Rite Aid and order it from the pharmacy. That is pretty humiliating. Or going to the doctor saying you need it. All this when it has been proven safe.

Plan B good news!

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/04/06/health/judge-orders-fda-to-make-morning-after-pill-available-over-the-counter-for-all-ages.xml

Roger Ebert

http://m.nydailynews.com/1.1307967 This hurts.....this week has been bleak. I met him when I was a child.....we used to visit mutual friends in a summer country house. My family and I of course. In Chicago. I do hope he is in a better place, and I loved their show too.

posted here by accident

http://molotovangels.blogspot.com/?m=1

I wrote some stuff on this site years ago (five!omg) not my best.....I meant this post about Jesus Malverde (I know I need the accent thing but cant find it sorry) to be on this site.......but posted on the MA by accident. But it's kinda fitting actually......

chez familia

hit the road jill and dontcha come back no more no more no more no more

must be oh to be unwanted. with just reason. nothing like the satisfsaction of punching out a person who deserves it. kaPOOM POW splat

visions part two..have I the eyes of Laura Mars?

For some re reason that crashed my phone. I am just.....well for the first time I am putting down experiences that were just in my head. I do sense something of Justin my ex who has been .....I don't know what happened to him. Or Chris. Or Saurab my former roommate. I very strongly doubt Justin is guilty of anything he is accused of. Chris and his battles.....I mean I didnt create any of this. I went through stuff in the three subsequent years that could have killed me only by a hair's grace did I get out of that. I didnt deserve that. I cant stand to see my friends hurt you know? All this shit they are dealing with.....I should not suffer for as it's not of my doing. Their personal lives and whatnot. It hurts me to think of them hurting. But they alone chose the company they keep.....and what went on between them is between them and .....point is I can't help who they are or the decisions they make. I just wish things were happier and it gets lonely here. I managed to screw in 7 light bulbs by myself but.....I admit I wish there was a man here.....that I want here. You know. Not a friend or roommate. And not married.....and I wish I could get my cable box back. It turns out its far more complicated than I thought. I was reading on St. Claire how she is the patron saint of television. I am not Catholic and am more or less agnostic now. But the saints and the rituals around them are quite fascinating to me. I noticed St. Claire was mentioned in the film Rebecca.....maybe she is symbolic for things hidden coming to light, or clarity?  I was watching some shows I got off Google play and the CBS app.....and I looked out of the corner of my eye toward my closet. Sigh.This I write after my phone crashed again! I saw....now it was dark except for my white candle.....and phone. Now yes its true I hung my black jacket which made a shadowy figure....in my head I suppose whatever. But it looked like a nun....but dark......dubious. And next to her a gremlin-like face....wrinkled, sinister.....heartless or emotion-less. I thought maybe that is St. Claire.....if so please fix my cable box?Or maybe a trickster disguised as her like the Black Swan. Maybe in my mind I understand. Emotional I am. 

visions?

But my point is I am not making light  of the environment.....I cleaned out my room washed a bunch of clothes.....carrying a huge bag of laundry to and from .....all on top of running.....feeling....... Say what you will. 

First I want to clarify on what I last wrote. I am not in any way denying the gravity of the environment crisis and go out of my way, believe me, to always recycle and like I just wrote I wash my floor at least every couple days. I don't smoke cigarettes. Not that this is environment-related but I don't even drink beer .....because its too difficult living in the.....it must have been.....birthplace of the temperence movenment New Jersey. Close enough to Newark. I have heard about extreme cult-like religious activity there. Religion is one thing. The fanatical and stalkerlike behavior of some individuals disguised as religious is another.Hey whatever works for someone I don't care. But when you persecute others for their beliefs and practices and accuse them of stuff they didn't do.....expect criticism where it's due. Anyhow.....not all of Newark or NJ  is like this. But this not Brooklyn, which I really miss, where you can walk to a bodega at 2am ....miss that too.....and buy beer, chips a sandwich whatnot. Everything closes at 11 and if you want alcohol not in a bar (and I wouldnt recommend going into bars here) you are sol screwed. Good news though is that I dont have that terrible hung over feeling when I wake and dont have the drinking face.