Thinking back

I was 23 making a lot of dumb decisions the consequences of I am living with to this day. How I want once and for all to just be free of it. True I was young and confused I didn't know what I was doing. No one is of sound mind at that age. Still.....it was a waste. I did a lot of good things too. But there is something else.....something bigger, fiercer and darker. Only in parts is it becoming clear. I was surrounded by a lot of people who were not well intentioned......just not good people period. Classic alcoholic behavior.........lots of drama, lots of haze and noise......but deceptive. Everything is somebody else's fault. Everyone else is wrong. Everything is your fault, someone else's and never theirs. =