When you wonder, I should have or could have run right then but instead I stayed and this is what happened which wouldn't have if I'd ran

I was sweaty and panting and had walked from rehearsal at 23rd street I had the address but.....

It turned out to be the Trump Tower. I went in there in flip flops and a raggy skirt and everyone was in heels really dressed up I wanted to turn around was afraid to see him expecting someone stuffy to open the door and say, "Get out of here; you're a slob." I dress up occasionally but most of the time I don't like to.


As I was waiting for him to open the door that's when I had the urge to run.....but I didn't. I stayed. He opened the door and was......I was wondering if he'd tell me to leave.....but he was.....kind of goofy or something......and just stared at me for a few seconds....and then....I went in there.


So everything changed after that, sort of. But then I got the wrath of Mother and Sonny, assaulted on my block, terrible muscle pain, and, conversely, health insurance.

I'm tired. These past few days it felt like something really negative was in the air. I'm trying to be upbeat and optimistic; I am an optimist I hope. But I have come to accept that there's so much I can't control. But I worked myself last night to total fatigue as I so often do and mornings I can't get out of bed......though I did this morning, only to face another bad situation. Even the astrological chart says today is not good but what can I do? The rent won't pay itself and no one will get me out in the limelight if I don't.

But I'm still waiting for this to end. It's cloudy and I"m sick of the rain, sick of being wet and cold.