Lunar Day One

http://www.lunarium.co.uk/articles/about-lunar-days3.jsp#day1



Wow everything written here gels with what's going on and how I'm feeling. Yesterday I kept to myself and (peace, what) sat in the library reading, no phone or distractions. I did write out what I experienced certain elements of the past.....lengthy handwritten. I am feeling drained and not like social networking. I started reading War and Peace love it .....more on this later.....

recovering

Yesterday was frantic. Only now just waking.....saw friends and had fun but was everywhere in the city and walking I must have at least 15 miles not sure.....I haven't run in a while but will soon.....I can see myself tightening up though as I was up and down. hills, stairs and so on. I just now found out I can .....well a lot of issues have nearly splintered me but somehow I got out of it, barely.....like I clawed my way out of a grave. A lot of things lost partly I admit, my fault that I was careless and reckless many times but glasses, phone, clothes. I returned cell phones even a wallet with money in it this partly because there was a time I lost mine and people returned it.....without taking any cash and I am grateful for that.....but you know things get lost I'm not the only one. I was supposed to get a replacement but it hasn't arrived it's two weeks now.....several attempts to buy one just a chaotic mess. a lot of upsetting things I'm reading the spying going on me having been spied on I never had the luxury of being ignorant or naive, if that's at all a good thing. I don't know, but educate yourself if you don't want to be led by lies as there was a time once when I was too. Certain people I had thought were OK or great turned out to be not and me being someone who stands out without trying to I was a target. I always sensed something was .....happening but it wasn't clear what. But if you don't want your body, soul and life hijacked then don't ..... well the information is out there. There are bookstores and libraries and a ton of stuff on the internet that's all I can say. 

a drawing I did: 

mirage

I won't quote anyone but it's hovering over me.....thanks to Google and Youtube (such are the ironies) it's not so easy to copy people's stuff the catch being attributing it to oneself often collecting money for it; at least without being exposed. If it weren't for a corrupt judicial system in America a lot of people would be in prison. Sad state of affairs, huh? A lot of copying goes on and if someone rips off your stuff, furthermore getting rich off it, all illegally, and you merely say you're flattered you know what you deserve it then. By doing nothing and saying it's OK you're as guilty as the people doing this to you. Are you flattered when someone steals your TV? Then pawns it......not naming names .....I had a lot of stuff stolen from me (I know me as me it's easy to see this as a whine-fest, it isn't. I'm merely stating a fact: stuff was stolen from me) I was careless that's my fault......though I returned two cell phones as well as a wallet with money in it went through hell for a month due to having no phone.....I may be many things but I'm not ok with it nor am I flattered. Then this lowlife scumbag I made the mistake of dating accused me of, what? stealing $2? I don't like to write stuff like this because it's not positive, uplifting stuff but realistically this is what I've been dealing with. 

So. Live and learn. I'm happy to say I have. I worked hard to pull myself out of a bad place and I'm better, yeah better. Don't get me wrong. A lot of people have come along who are great, I am grateful for them. Spirit has helped me and I am grateful for that also. But I learned a brutal lesson from some of my mistakes you know not everyone out there is nice. Ha. It's like combat, or a video game! Now I can see why people play them.......I hadn't really understood it before.

Speck

"My private life is scandalized by the public/But that's the price I have to pay for my fame"  Noticable One by Missing Persons 

"American women are not, of course, being readied for mass extermination, but they are suffering a slow death of mind and spirit." Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique



"Yet we were wrong, terribly wrong. We owe it to future generations to explain why."

Robert McNamara 


Photos:
     Jack Dykinga. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Dykinga ( www.dykinga.com )

From The Vault Of Art Shay: Remembering The Richard Speck Case

These are bits from the Richard Speck case, Chicago, 1966. I wasn't yet born, but growing up I met some of the people who had been involved on the media end. This is quite powerful stuff and looking this stuff up plus music from the period I started shaking.....this was a media frenzy equivalent to OJ Simpson or Jodi Arias well yeah I suppose they do become celebrities.....I can say that the emotional toll taken on people involved in this was devastating and remained for a long time. I must have sensed something underneath the surface even though I was a kid at the time.....a lot of music from the period is (my opinion) over the top happy cheesy ( not bland trite oooh sorry forgot I'd watched a Bart Baker parody)  and ......but hinting at something more to come.......

carriage horses, columbus circle

Sorry to be MIA I've been working hard on a lot of stuff trying to move up and forward and......well get stuff done. It has taken all my physical, mental and emotional energy. 
I've been spending time at Columbus Circle a lot and around uptown and there's a great deal of controversy over carriage horses and their treatment be it horrific or well or whatnot depending who you talk to. I'd been getting newsletters from organizations trying to ban them saying the animals are abused and showing graphic, horribly depressing photographs of dead horses and all kinds of......it was pretty gut wrenching. However, I've talked to people who've told me otherwise like who have connections to the industry and they say it is not as bad as all that and the people who own the horses love them and that there are internal politics involved property disputes and such. I pass them (the horses) every day and have come to be familiar with them and I believe they know and remember me as well. I pet them. The drivers say hi to me. I don't .....I mean it costs money to maintain their upkeep and the money comes from people buying rides. What can I say? Put your two cents, or two hands in. Pet the horses. Feed them apples. They are very social creatures and love attention and companionship. Talk to them. Buy a ride which will pay for their food, veterinary bills, housing.....for me that's the best I can think of. Maybe in other ways (not always) I'm not as confrontational as I once was or at least not if......I don't know. I love animals. All of them. Be careful feeding them watch your fingers or feed them off a plate or something. Ask permission. 

Maya Plisetskaya Плисецкая, Майя Михайловна

I never met her but have read countless books on her.....gorgeous woman and dancer. If ballerinas sometimes wear strained expressions it's because dance, ballet in particular, is tough. What these men and women have achieved is daunting.....
I never knew much of her story only that her photos fascinated me. Something unique comes through every dancer even though they wear the same costumes and perform nearly identical moves. But she stood out to me. As a teenager I hung out in Strand Books a lot and for hours would study these photos which was all I had for a long time. I didn't know that she was considered subversive there and banned from touring which is why she didn't come over here; although eventually she did. An article on her says, "Plisetskaya explains that for her generation, and her family in particular, defecting was a moral issue: 'He who runs to the enemy's side is a traitor.' She had once asked her mother why their family didn't leave the Soviet Union when they had the chance, at the time living in Norway. Her mother said that her father 'would have abandoned me with the children instantly' for even asking. 'Misha would never have been a traitor.'" Check it out it's pretty fierce her bio. It's Wikipedia so questionable but a general idea.....

you will be missed.

jupiter

I've been studying the planetary hours.....I think I'm starting to get a sense of what they are about; though how "they" figure this out is a mystery to me. Now is Jupiter. Luck be a lady (guys and dolls):):):):):):):) Mathematicians of the ancient middle east I think invented this system.

Jupiter Ascending
Warner Bros. 
with Eddie Redmayne

bizarre just found this of Mila Kunis.....the wedding cake   looked a little like this dress......

"Is there no way out of the mind" Sylvia Plath

It is true in my head alarms are constantly going off in the midst of chaos (or maybe not if you can do the math) numbers and words..... which my  math teacher from high school said was the mark of genius (she failed me anyway.....I mean, I'm over it it's ok now I understand how it why it happened now, you know, but still I shouldn't have had to fail but on this one I really got whacked. My ego was put in check big time.)  

Bloody Mary

"In our country the worst of all crimes occurs when the government murders truth. If it can murder truth, it can murder freedom. If it can murder freedom, it can murder your own sons--if they should dare to fight for freedom-- and then it can announce that they were killed in an industrial accident, or shot by the "enemy" or God knows what." Jim Garrison (prosecutor for JFK [ cold case]/ murder conspiracy) closing statement. 

"People can take everything from you/but they can never take away your truth/the question is/can you handle mine?" additional lyrics to "My Perogative" performed by Britney Spears I'm assuming written by
Bloodshy & Avant are a Swedish songwriting and production duo of Christian Karlsson (Bloodshy) and Pontus Winnberg (Avant).  

oh interesting......my great grandfather's name was Carl Christian. 

I have found it very difficult to focus or discipline myself today I suppose it's lack of sleep and that I expended so much energy yesterday plus just fried. But my mind kicks in ADD or whatnot endless pinging of stuff against my skull..... so here I am recording it......as it comes. Or am I mildly autistic? ????? Be still my mind. 


I never understood the lyrics of the song "Edge of 17" but just found them on the internet they are brilliant, brilliant man. 

"In a flood of tears
That no one really ever heard fall at all
When I went searchin' for an answer
Up the stairs and down the hall
Not to find an answer
Just to hear the call
Of a nightbird singin'
(Come away)
(Come away)"


This song was released according to Wiki (abbreviations abbv. ) Feb. 5, 1980. 

On Feb 5, 1963 Sylvia Plath wrote her last poem, "Edge." 

".....Each dead child coiled, a white serpent,   

One at each little

Pitcher of milk, now empty.   

She has folded

Them back into her body as petals   

Of a rose close when the garden

Stiffens and odors bleed

From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower."

Bloody Mary makeup look by Jaqalynn on DeviantArt

jaqalynn.deviantart.com900 × 1365Search by image

Bloody Mary makeup look by Jaqalynn Bloody Mary makeup look by Jaqalynn

 interesting the name Bloody Mary sprung up.....but my friends and I tried that too.....no image appeared. But a wedding I went to ended in.....someone severing an artery when she walked through a glass windowand there was a pool of blood all over the floor. By the stroke of (ty) Lady Luck, there was a nurse at the party who saved this woman's life. She did a makeshift tourniquet on her leg. The marriage, sadly, did not work out. But such it is sometimes. I am remembering.....a few times mirrors cracked and it freaked the fuck out of me at the time. All the implications that go with it.....a part of me says the legend is bull but another is thinking, well.....maybe a trickster of some kind. Truthfully there'd been a guy involved when this stuff happened and she allegedly being a psychic on future husbands.....none of these men were right for me. ?

http://www.nikkietutorials.com/site/2012/10/makeup-tutorial-easy-bloody-mary-halloween/

another make up girl did this look......somehow the image resonates with me more if it's a real person made up.....

and by the way I didn't copy Lady Gaga with this reference didn't even know she did a song with that title
guess geniuses think alike (!)
  '

War and Peace.....

reading this now. I'm totally glued to it if it's a long book it doesn't seem that way.....the style of writing is warm and friendly .....on pg 43 so far.....started this today.....actually now I'm on page 100. A part of me is thinking this is in so many ways the same story as Gone with the Wind though this came first. It's nwesome though what can I say?

love vs. hate?

listening to some punk rock music I haven't in a while.....a band SFA whom I personally know. This is a truly brilliant album I can say now listening because at the time I wasn't in a position to .....my judgement was more clouded then. Love or hate? Love or hate everyone? Love is hard......you can hate someone because you love them and on it goes or use hate sometimes to defend love......or fight for love or fight with one you love and .....love is hard work and takes everything out of a person at times.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9b8krfC2YI

been eating

like my life depends on me stuffing my face. the opposite of last week. such it is my weight has always gone up and down. I was a cherubic baby and Sunday's child. "The child born on Sabbath Day is......[?]" 7th month 25th day nearly the 7th hour......birth certificate said 7:01 pm but I don't think that's accurate. I always saw my ascendant sign as Scorpio. Because if ever someone existed who rose from ashes repeatedly, like several times a day each day of my life I have or .....I can only speak for myself maybe that's everyone. I think of a film I haven't seen but want to: the film Unbroken. I did see Imitation Game and loved it for all its flaws it's gorgeous and brilliantly acted......so I may not be an American POW in a Japanese camp but I am.....I suppose there are different ways to fight a battle. The level of difficulty.....well, who knows.Am I a code-breaker? I tried to do one crossword puzzle and got stuck on the first one. eeh. Though I am good with languages. I'm good at languages. Focus on strengths, not weaknesses. A weakness? Don't show them: but I suck at basketball.

last days of Berlin Wall

"I thought every German was you/and the language obscene.....at twenty I tried to die/and get [back] to you" Sylvia Plath 

I suppose but .....something how it not being a beach day it's not as easy to lay back and party with friends though maybe you do anyway that is if you have friends probably not cuz no one wants to be with you cuz you're too damn depressing.....so you write great poetry nevertheless... ......cheesy but true? n'est-ce pas?

dream

I was buying Easter candy for a guy.....someone I know of. I am in a gift shop of some kind I see birthday candles but go outside, and I am in the woods running. Then on a stage but it's dark and empty. Lightning. I am saying something but forgot what. I am running or something.....then go to my friend. I forget something, so return but this time in flip flops. I am on the same dark stage after visiting the store.....I run down the stairs which are uneven and rocky but a guy is in front of me. He says I have a girlfriend waiting for me I say I'm not after you sir I just need to get back too. I am trying to run in the same foresty area like a park, but in flip flops. It is dark and scary, lightning.....I am making a speech of some kind. I am looking for the same candy.....

Church light

Perfect angle

Jodi's letter

Marilyn in NYC

Phone charging. I am happy to say I have seen a ton of great art around the city. There was an opening at my school lots of interesting people a girl with sneakers on and a bouquet of flowers in her bag (I guess I'm a trendsetter? Wouldn't have expected that) or who knows coincidence but I don't believe in coincidences what should I do? Sue? Trademark infringement? I will post more on this later.....

Clara Barton .....this saved me.....

Due to a few stresses that are fairly minor but which caused a lot of problems for me today; feeling very tired and on the verge, or past it......I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was suddenly better. Where I'd been horrible before and thinking why don't I just kill myself; I can't deal. So that I woke up suddenly infused with energy and, well, fairly normal.....pretty much a miracle. I went to the library, searching randomly, found a book on women in United States history; and found a chapter on Clara Barton. I'd heard her name but knew nothing of her history. When I read what she went through; lest you thought women simply sat around the house til the last century; she traveled around the world and through several wars tending soldiers and once worked, according to the story, five days straight with three hours' sleep. Not to mention what I read of soldiers lying out in the cold bleeding, in pain and without modern medicine or hospitals. She helped found the American chapter of the Red Cross which saved countless lives and much faster and more efficiently than before.

weight loss from poisoning

I looked in the mirror and .....whoa! I've thinned out. I look like a friggin addict, BUT HAVE NOT DONE ANY DRUGS. Haven't even had caffeine til late this morning, with the exception of a couple Diet Cokes on Monday. There is a reason for that. It's because I ingested something poisonous and much heroin is mixed with rat poison which is the real reason so many addicts turn sickly looking. I do not and have never used heroin. I am recuperating, though. It's also the onset of my period and oftentimes I get nauseous a couple days before. My body goes through this weird thing where it thinks it's pregnant. I was walking near Central Park and thought of the scene in Rosemary's Baby where Mia Farrow's character is in pain and it suddenly stops.....Now I know how that is!

Inconvenient Truths: ~~Jodi's Art ~What Is She Trying to Tell Us?~~"Tea...

Inconvenient Truths: ~~Jodi's Art ~What Is She Trying to Tell Us?~~"Tea...: 





Art by Jodi.


Makes me think of this:



link below don't know why it's not highlighted but scroll down:

Tears by Missing Persons


Kind of cheesy but there you are same title anyway