continues

I'm so angry, at so many things. I go out, in a dress and heels, and the stares, the attention I get is more than I can handle. These....I don't want to stereotype and I really am not biased....but these girls and guys who are really ghetto are screaming....laughing loudly...where I am at the South Street Seaport. I hate loud laughing and talking. Maybe it's a cultural difference. Look, my family was poor, my grandmother grew up barely able to afford food or shoes, during the Depression. But people were well-spoken and well-read. Not to mention well-dressed and mannered. I know other people who grew up with very little money and yet they were well-educated and spoke good English, or Spanish. I just don't tolerate stupidity, vulgarity or bad breeding. I can't accept it. I guess just the way I was raised we were encouraged to learn, to not watch TV, to aim for progress. This is what I was taught by my parents and the role models I had, the same ones we all had. None of this was a secret, it was out there for everyone to see and hear.

Ok I'm irritable, now. This guy kept leering at me in the street while I was on my way to an audition, and I lost it. "Don't bother me!" I screamed at him. Why do these men think they have a right? I was hungry and tired. I finally found a place selling veggie burgers, fries and cocktails, to go. But there were people everywhere and nowhere to eat....I can't eat in crowded places. It was raining, my umbrella broke, but I finally climbed the stairs and found a quiet spot. So now I'm waiting for my audition time. I still want to socialize. I love going to auditions but I just wanted to fall asleep, earlier. Now, I feel insatiably hungry. It's a vampire syndrome? My moon sign is Virgo, and sun sign Leo. Virgo moon is a tough one. We're just not a content, easygoing lot. I'm always critical, of myself and others. I'm never at ease. I'm not happy, all that much. I find fault, everywhere. I tried raspberry tea but it tasted awful....I took one sip and threw the rest in the sink. Walks? Yoga? I ate French fries and a whole chocolate bar today. Guilt. I can feel the fat piling on. But in this neighborhood there's not much in the way of healthy. Pretty soon my audition time will come up....actually not pretty soon. I brought a book, called Loose Change, by Sara Davidson. The characters are pretty conventional but it's entertaining, kind of like Jane Austen in the 60s. I'm going on a spin here.....


What is there here that's non fattening and vegetarian? Cole slaw? That has mayonaise. This is the dilemma I deal with every day. I'm not naturally thin. It's a struggle, all the time.

not sociable?

When I went on that DC trip, a drinking get together had been arranged for a bunch of us, in which we toured the bars and Georgetown. It was agonizing for me. All these people were sharks, all of them had knives out, with which they planned to stab me. They all had an agenda. "I don't trust anybody," said Garrett once. There is real malevolence out there. There is a book called In Defense of Paranoia. I know I should be trusting. But I felt like a scrub brush; alienated and miserable. I ended up splitting from the group after my earring was lost, and then crying. I sat in this park by the river, with no kleenex, and finally went into a movie theater to get some. Some people were concerned. It's good to know there are a few decent people in the world. But at that party, everyone--these guys were all hard core beer drinkers and really aggressive and none of the girls would talk to me....at least that's how it felt at first. This one girl, British but originally from Germany, gave off the worst vibes--and there was something hard, edgy about so many of them. I think maybe this same girl later tried to be friendly. But it was too late. Once something or someone sets me off, I get vindictive and angry. That's just the way I am. This one older Chinese woman asked me if I was ok. I need people, company, as much as anyone....I am vulnerable....but don't want to show it. I don't want people to know I need them. I don't, I can't trust people. I have been brutally stabbed in the back. I know better. I am hard, cynical, maybe for good reason. I am angry. I don't trust women or men.

Maybe I'm a whiner. But large crowds and gatherings can terrify me, especially these "bar" beer drinking get togethers. The men are aggressive, and I've been so hurt by men, over and over....insulted, degraded, stamped into a corner. Women are bad too, in different ways. It's like there's nowhere I can go. I don't know who to trust and who not to trust. I know I shouldn't feel this way, we're taught to be loving and open....but it's not always that simple. I'm going on a rant. I grew up an only child. I wasn't raised around a lot of people my own age. I am used to having a lot of space to myself, and privacy. I'm not a group person. I can't stand people staring into my eyes and walking into me, which happens all the time in this town. I am realizing now the damage done to me, though, by mostly men. It's like the same ugliness over and over. I've had problems with women; mainly women who are devoted to these same men and who stand by them, defend them. It all comes down to the same thing: conservatism. Or is it? No, I don't believe in Mr. Right or relationships and I, right now, never want another one. Men cheat, most of them, or eventually want to move on. Men still dominate women, still control them. People, women, let men off the hook and blame society, or "the media" but society and media are comprised of people and dominated by men. There's a statement by Redstockings: "Institutions do not oppress; they are merely tools of the oppressor." Most women aren't radical. Most of them defend men. Progress is agonizingly slow, for that reason.

Winter pix

This is from the 07 anti war march, which I got to the tail end of. I dressed up like a cheerleader for the hell of it and went, wondering if I'd run into any cool people. I showed up and the Missile Dick Chicks and Billionaires for Bush were there. I miss the days of cheering and protesting in the streets. I want the summer of 04 to come back. I miss all the other activists.

But as it was, it was freezing, I didn't see any cheerleaders, and I was barely held together in this outfit. All these kids from the projects laughed at the way I looked. This winter sucked, and I wished for warm weather and finally got it. I wish I could connect with more interesting people, something to work on for summer.





















My two kitties, this winter.

DC Trip from Hell

This is me on line waiting for the bus




At least on the way back. We waited about an hour and a half, standing on the hot street, for the bus. Then, it was packed. People just kept getting on and getting on, not off. Then, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, I was thinking to myself about one of these buses going from Chicago to NYC that crashed, and in which two people died and several others were injured. I started to panic. Right then, there was a loud bang, and a bunch of people were oohing and ahhing. Turns out, a tire popped. So the driver pulled us over to the side of the road. We were told we had to stay on the bus and wait for the police or else he'd get a ticket. How long til the police arrive? He said about 45 minutes to an hour. I ....get very claustrophobic and...I mean, it's ridiculous. Plus, I had to pee this whole time. People were asking about refunds, and we were finally told we'd get nothing. Shit happens, said the driver. Finally, the cops arrived, and we were told to stay on the bus. A little later, we were allowed off to stretch out. So we all hung out on the grass, and people were smoking. Then, I actually would have almost welcomed a cigarette. Or else green. I haven't smoked in about three years. The tire was eventually fixed, and off we went again....and I ended up in NYC around 2am. I fell into bed after three sips of wine. A voice in my head had told me not to go back that night, I should have listened. I thought I had to return, but I didn't. I love DC and had fun, and staying in the hostel was actually pleasant. Maybe I shouldn't have left. Next time I won't, maybe.



Me at the hostel

The guy in the red shirt is the driver who was a complete nut job. He took out some kind of stick or wheel lock and told us he'd beat anyone who got out of place with it. When I went to get my book out of my suitcase outside the bus, I saw him standing over me holding it. I explained what I was doing, and he went away. I believe he was joking, I guess, it was all so confusing. People were joking and laughing by then.

Finally, me on the bus. I started to sweat, and I always lose shit when traveling, no matter how hard I try to stay on top of things. I lost earrings, a necklace, my phone....that's what I can remember for now.

and I got outta there

I'm in DC now, for a night or two. I love it down here I am so happy to get away and the warm weather has done wonders for my spirits. All the stress and anxiety you understand better once you're removed....


It's super sunny and hot a miracle really the kind of heat where you feel like you're roasting slowly....but it's far less crowded and hectic and the people seem for the most part decent. I am staying in a hostel and avoiding going up to the room where I'll be sleeping, because I don't want to sleep in a room with 10 strangers in it....that kind of thing makes my hairs rise up......but every other thing I tried this time didn't work out. Considering I won't be sleeping much there's no point in booking anything really luxurious. I'll survive. Thing is, I need to have the room hot when I sleep or else I get sick....and I have a feeling the AC will be going. I brought a space heater because it gets cold at night and the draft bothers me.....well....I know from past experiences to be prepared!

I also indulged, big time, in some clothes. You know, money that "should" go for something else....a noble cause like animal shelters I spend on decadence, vanity--but vanity won this time. I am decadent, irresponsible?

I need this. Sun therapy. I like it here a lot. I hope to spend more time down here, not just here though of course. I still want to do Latin America, and I miss Egypt as well. I really do. I miss my friends there, and the life I had. Also California....South Africa....all that staring at the map and longing, longing....

but I found out some depressing news. Someone "from my past" who I thought was safely removed from my life.....is going to a "private party" in my town, NYC, well I know what that means. Not only that, someone I can't stand is going to be there. Actually it already happened. It's the same story every time. But I won't go into it...

Simone de Beauvoir wrote about love being a sterile hell as the ultimate salvation....if I have a daughter I'll teach her that....better not to walk in with blinders on....

but enough of that for now....back outside into whatever I encounter next...

Going out in NYC

is no longer possible to be a positive experience. Because first of all, I have to deal with men in the street leering at women, making comments, turning every last one of us into objects, and nothing is ever done about it and it is never questioned, these men are never punished. Men staring at women in the streets, like they're drunk, sick, I'm sick of them--it's killing me, I think about killing them. Any woman who wears a dress, who does her hair or makeup, wears high heels--these are the main targets. If you're attractive, you're inviting it. I think many of these men are staking out their next victims, seeing who will fight them the least. You hear all this talk about "beauty standards" and "society" and "media" or even pornography putting pressure on women to make themselves into fantasy sex objects, wear high heels, skirts, makeup, but what it comes down to is it's men. Society, media are abstract things created by human beings: almost overwhelmingly men. Men pressure women to wear uncomfortable clothes, makeup, hair spray....and punish anyone who doesn't conform. Every minute of every day I have to deal with this barrage of assault, this overwhelming sense of entitlement, from men in the streets.

But I'm not letting women off the hook, either. "Rich cunts" is the term Henry Miller was using....."cunt" is not a nice word despite some feminists' efforts to reclaim it. But people aren't always nice. I had to transfer trains in the Carroll Gardens section of Brooklyn, and I hate being there, hate it. It put me in a really bad funk. I want to stay positive, but in this atmosphere it's a struggle to see straight most of the time. The energy is horrid....all these Republicans, all these conservative women it's religious with them, really, it's sexual in a way. Maybe they're seeking approval from their fathers, maybe it's narcissism.... I'm not going to whitewash now....it's true. What would drive a man to make a law saying a random woman whom he has never met, who he doesn't care if she lives or dies, can't have an abortion? Why so much energy spent on protecting a primitive life form, and valuing that over a grown woman? The reason is control. Same with keeping prostitution illegal. I could go on and on. I'm not attacking everyone. But certain people are guilty. Women oppress women, they sell other women out. This is the dirty secret feminists don't want to let out--women's barbaric treatment of one another. My friend was telling me how these girls in her private school once locked her in the bathroom....but it's more than that. They want a leader, authority figure, maybe, someone to worship? Maybe that's part of it....

But I shouldn't say this stuff. What is the solution? I have read enough Ann Coulter to recognize hate, and reverse hate isn't a solution.....

but I can't go on in this environment and hold it together. I can't live with constant invasion of my personal space, the "hostile environment" of men leering at women and pressuring them for sex or plotting ways to stake out their next victim, because well I can't I won't tolerate it. What's wrong is wrong. Why is it illegal for them to do it in the office but not in subway stations? I can't live this way. It's eroding my health. And this "takeover" going on in the city; the artistic venues disappearing or under pressure--to become beer halls or upscale restaurants and even Bluestockings being stocked with watered-down pseudo-feminist or non-political books because....some women may be offended by anything too hard core....

this is suffocating me. I need a change. I can't stay here. I would die if I had to live in Carroll Gardens--not the Carroll Gardens of old, the Italian neighborhood, but of now--the high-rent, "yuppie" atmosphere I don't want to go on a negative rant....but what can I say? It's how things are. Even the techno clubs....no techno is bad, it incites people to take drugs and have gay sex....

Pro-choice is not just about abortion rights

It's about a woman's right to do what she wants with her body, or any two consenting adults, without government interference.

That includes selling it for cash.

They're all the same to me.
Did the female suffragists make prostitution illegal? Many well-meaning feminists contributed to it, probably to stop the sex slave trade.

Look how far it got us.

Keeping prostitution illegal on moral grounds violates the First Amendment of the Constitution: separation of church and state.

Disgusting


France, how could you have let this happen? The fact that this MF has come into charge is a terrifying threat to women's rights, minority rights, workers' rights, all the hard-won health and child care benefits in France....let's hope there's no domino effect. I'm so upset.

Really, how could this happen? Who voted for this guy?

Street Harassment Summit

Today there was this Street Harassment Summit on the lower east side that I went to. I met up with the girls from Hollaback and other women. It was really cool to see that there are so many others who feel the same way I do. Cause it's BAD now I mean bad here. So much that I was wanting to move. I was walking home the other night around 6AM and this guy was walking on the same block I live on. He was yelling at me, "Hey! Hey!" He was also very menacing. There were a couple more similar incidents. This is one advantage of having a roommate, because last night I ended up calling her as I was walking home, around 3AM. I usually take cabs but tonight I decided not to, because for the most part things had been calm around here--but then summer started and it's true what they say: the guys want to hang out in the streets more and one thing leads to another. My roommate agreed to wait at the window for me, which helped. At this point I don't know if it's good for me to live alone. I keep saying this city is basically safe except for occasional incidents, but other times I feel differently. But either way, we're made into objects every time we go out and I don't even remember it being this bad when I was in high school. It's all part of something larger......that I have to find out.

I was wrong

Some of my past behavior, like in the last few years, I'm not proud of. I really am grateful to those who meant to help. But what is over is over.

This girl I know just moved into a co-op building and I'm so envious. It's very quiet, safe, peaceful and inexpensive. My mother keeps wanting me to apply for these places. But there's an up and a down side to everything. Where I am, I have a back yard and the cats can go in and out. It means I can have them out of my hair once and a while.

The ideal living situation--does it exist?

I was thinking about what Simone de Beauvoir wrote about when she described the ennui, the boredom, of the upper middle classes, Hollywood, the "tiresome duties." Because she nailed it: I used to be dragged out to Mother and Sonny's house in the Hamptons and the boredom out there is overwhelming--it just enveloped...well me anyway....like a rape. Harsh, you can say, but that's what it felt like. The boredom of people with too much money, too much time on their hands, and no real creativity or intelligence. I mean, what is the point of a 15 room mansion? Seriously....

I could never rest easy if my money came at the expense of others. I couldn't enjoy it. It would always be in the corner of my eyes. The people I went to junior high with, who gave me so much shit about my animal testing protests--it's like, they don't care. They don't care about anyone except themselves, and believe that is the right way to live. Maybe that's what is written about on that Stargods Web site--sociopaths, people with no empathy. Am I too daring writing about this? I've heard their sentiments over and over again, my whole life.

I decided to mess around today and go for a walk around Columbia University. I just needed to get out of the Village where I am every day and to a place where I don't have to deal with harassment from men. So I took the A to 125th and just started walking. It's very bizarre, that area. Part of it is so incredibly boring, another part is absolutely gorgeous. I love Harlem: it has so much history.

I came across a demonstration that depressed me, about Huntingdon Life Sciences


and their connection with the NYSE and Euronext. The paper I worked for wrote about them every day.

This has to be stopped.

men are disgusting slimy pigs

I have to remember there are some decent men in the world. But there are too many who aren't. I can't go out and have a good time at night because I and every other female have to deal with these guys who are trying to "score" --the aggressiveness--basically having to ward off unwanted advances. There's all this talk about sexual harassment in the workplace-- some people still try to call it harmless flirting--but it's everywhere. I don't even want to call it "street harassment" because it's sexual harassment--the same thing. I'm emotionally warped because of it. I'm mad. I walk around in this state when I should be doing other things with my time. Whether it's happening to me or someone else is not the point it's that it's happening period. Whether it's a guy getting out of a car going, "Pretty ladies!" or men in groups trying to stop us, "lines" it's enough, enough. I don't even want to go out anymore. I don't remember dealing with these extremes when I was younger, in high school. I was thinking about it, and I believe there is a reason the Street Harassment Project started when it did--as there are no coincidences. It's the Central Park incident--interesting how all this anti-woman aggression happens in parks, where people go for relaxation and "outdoor therapy"--but a sign of the times, and there's a reason it started in New York City. Because here there are people crammed together in small spaces, and one of the drawbacks of nice weather is that people want to hang around and unwind, outdoors, lay back--and check out all the babes. It's not fun and flirting, it's a method of control and intimidation. The problem is....women are responsible for women's oppression as well, but that's another topic I don't have time to go into. I know, I've heard the pro-woman line and I see the logic, but I'm sorry it is true--women oppress women. It's not only women doing it but it's reality. Like the women who took over SHP, kicked out the founding member, and....according to some....pretty much diluted the original message, made it non-political, and even, to an extent (my opinion anyhow) infused it with a new kind of class bias . Whether that was deliberate or not is anyone's guess. This is my take on how things went down, but I'm not going to deny what I feel. SHP was supposed to be a safe space for women and I, and other women, didn't feel safe there.

more on this later....

NY incident

My friend and I were walking down St Marks around 2 AM. This guy approached us, one of these Williamsburg/Ramones types with stringy black hair and tight black jeans. He said, "Excuse me....uh....I'm ....re..e...e....a...ally disoriented......uh.....can you....spare some change...?" We both said in unison, "I don't have any change, sorry." He walked of saying, "Stupid fucking yuppie bitches."

Ironic because both of us are about as far from being "yuppies" as it's possible to get. One of my heroes is Joe Strummer. I was called a JAP by the punks I knew when I was in junior high because I didn't dress punk. This one time my friend and I went into one of these 8th street shops and a girl with her face plastered in makeup and eyeliner started yelling at me...."JAPPIE!!!! Get out of here!" I grew up poor. All her makeup must have cost money, not to mention her $300 Doc Martins....

Do people distort stuff?

For anyone who needs some cheering up

http://abcnews.go.com/US/LegalCenter/wireStory?id=2657500


I don't suggest the above article. In case you're wondering what some of our brave boys are up to overseas.....

From Desiree Alliance

End Demand Fact Sheet
A coalition of advocates and sex worker rights organizations have produced materials critiquing "end demand" style programming. Proponents of "end demand"-style programming such as "John's Schools" or increased arrest of clients of prostitution, claim that the measures only punish the men who purchase sex and protect women who sell sex. However, programs working with sex workers across the United States have found that intensive "end demand" programs increase law enforcement activities against all people in public space. Furthermore, these programs allow conservatives to channel hard won social service funding into policing efforts. This downloadable fact sheet cites research that illustrates the real results of "end demand" programming. We were able to do this analysis and produce these fact sheets via a grant from the Urgent Action Fund in early 2006. Groups involved in developing analysis of changes in the Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act include: the Desiree Alliance, Sex Workers Outreach Project-USA (SWOP-USA), the Woodhull Foundation, Bayswan, Best Practices Policy Project and local service providers in the District of Columbia. Below is the fact sheet. You can download the fact sheet here as a Word document. You can view the text of the End Demand legislation here. You can download the End Demand legislation here as a Word document.
Initiatives to “end demand” for prostitution harm women and undermine service programs
The Bush Administration is aggressively pushing the idea of ending demand for prostitution, claiming that programs oriented toward an “end to demand” are evidence- and rights-based, protecting “vulnerable” women and girls exploited by men. For example in December 2005 new provisions about “ending demand for commercial sexual services” were incorporated into the Re-authorization Act of the Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA).[1] In reality these programs do not stop men from seeking sexual services, but rather, they harm women and channel social service funding into policing efforts. This frequently harms sex workers by pushing them, and their clients, to adopt strategies that heighten their risk for violence, HIV, and more.[2]
What are “end demand” programs?
Typically when people speak about “ending demand” they are referring to a range of efforts such as diversion programs in the court system and increased policing of men often accompanied by the imposition of new laws. Diversion programs such as “Johns’ Schools” and public shaming campaigns (i.e. naming people caught for solicitation on bill boards or on websites) are thought to deter men who might consider purchasing sexual services, thus “ending demand.” These programs are often developed in tandem with heightened policing of poor neighborhoods where sex workers reside and work, in order to enforce anti-prostitution laws. These policies are construed as “progressive” because rather than targeting and policing sex workers, they instead target anyone, including clients and organizations working with sex workers. The new legislation thus “punishes” men while “helping women,” an approach developed by Swedish conservative legislators and feminists in the 1980s. Claims have been made that sex workers are provided health care and training in other forms of work with the funds obtained from arresting men (i.e. fines). Police also claim that they arrest fewer women because they are focusing on male clients of sex workers.
Do these programs work?
Proponents of end demand style programming claim that they reduce prostitution without harm to sex workers, deterring men from purchasing sexual services and helping women.[3] Swedish proponents claim that criminalization “will affect relations between women and men in the direction of greater gender equality.”[4] They also that claim statistics on reduction of arrests of both sex workers and their clients prove these programs are working and improving the lives of women and girls. Evaluations of end demand style programs reveal a very different picture:
· Prostitution in general is not reduced by “Swedish style legislation” and sex workers are made more vulnerable to violence. An evaluation of Sweden’s legal experiment concluded that it did not greatly reduce the number of women engaging in street sex work: figures from Stockholm show that the total number of women on the street remained stable from 1999-2003.[5] However, the report found that during this period street sex workers were increasingly exploited, pressured to reducing prices and to provide unprotected sex.
· Highly touted end demand style programs, such as “Johns’ Schools,” have little or no deterrent effect above and beyond the effect of arrest and criminal proceedings.[6] One study found that before and after participating in the program, 1 in 10 men said that they would likely seek commercial sex services again. This rate is 4 times higher than the officially reported recidivism rate of 2.4%.[7]
Rather these programs end up targeting and arresting clients who are poor, people of color and immigrants.[8] These men plead guilty even though many of them may not have been doing anything illegal at the time of arrest and would have been found not guilty had they gone to trial.
· End demand programs rely on fear tactics that endanger women’s safety. Researchers observing Johns Schools in action found that presenters cautioned participants that “drug addicted prostitutes… have stabbed their clients with AIDS infected needles”[9] as a way of “scaring men straight.” Consequently sex workers are portrayed as violent, dangerous and diseased, thus increasing stigmatization and making prostitutes more vulnerable to violence.
· End demand programs that are financed by “user fees” paid by participants lead to corruption and conflicts of interest between the police and NGO service providers. Often funds obtained by arresting people are insufficient or are used by the city for other purposes. Research shows that close relationships between policing and funding undermine service providers’ accountability to communities served. In one case, numerous police joined the board of directors of an NGO overseeing a Johns School program. Eventually a police representative became Chair of the board. The researchers noted that “[s]ince the social service organization’s financial welfare depends… on the number and volume of prostitution offenders diverted to the ‘John School’ programme [sic], and given that this volume largely depends on the level of prostitution enforcement, it becomes apparent how… considerable conflicts of interest can arise.”[10]
What can you do to help sex workers in your area?
We are a coalition of sex workers, service providers, advocacy groups and concerned community members who are concerned that “end demand” style programming is undermining service provisions for women in need. We are also concerned that all people engaging in commercial sex (men, women and trans-people) be provided with real social support. If you are concerned about these issues we ask that you join us by contacting representatives of the following organizations in our coalition:
Desiree Alliance, http://www.desireealliance.org/
Sex Workers Outreach Project http://www.swop-usa.org/
Best Practices Policy Project, http://www.bestpracticespolicy.org/
[1] See complete text here.
[2] For example, carrying condoms can be cause for arresting someone for prostitution. Condoms are needed to practice safe sex, yet policing policy makes this practice problematic.
[3] The developer of the John’s School program, Norma Hotaling of SAGE, claimed that 98% of men going through the program were “rehabilitated” (Jerome and Rowlands, 1998).
[4]Working Group of the Legal Regulation of Sexual Services, 2004, Purchasing sexual services in Sweden and the Netherlands: Legal regulation and experiences: pp14-15
[5] Working Group of the Legal Regulation of Sexual Services, 2004, Purchasing sexual services in Sweden and the Netherlands: Legal regulation and experiences:
[6] Wortley, S., Fischer, B., & Webster, C. (2002). Vice lessons: A survey of prostitution offenders enrolled in the Toronto John School Diversion Program. Canadian Journal of Criminology, 3(3), 227-248: 394. Monto, Martin A. and Steve Garcia. 2001. "Recidivism Among the Customers of Female Street Prostitutes: Do Intervention Programs Help?" Western Criminology Review 3 (2). [Online]. Available: http://wcr.sonoma.edu/v3n2/monto.html.
[7] Wortley, Op.Cit: 389
[8] Fischer, B. , Wortley, S., Webster, C., Kirst, M. (2002). The Socio-Legal Dynamics and Implications of Diversion: The Case Study of the Toronto 'John School' for Prostitution Offenders. Criminal Justice, 2(4), 385-410: NEED PAGE #.
[9] Wortley, Op.Cit: 373.
[10] Fischer, Op. Cit: 393.

Desiree Alliance is a coalition of sex workers, health professionals, social scientists, professional sex educators and their supporting networks. We seek to encourage a better understanding of human sexuality by promoting ethical and unbiased research into sexual subcultures; to promote saner and more sensible approaches to policies relating to adult sexual health and behavior. We use this information to educate and empower the public to have healthy and rational attitudes about sexuality.
Desiree Alliance is a Project of Social and Environmental Entrepreneurs (SEE), a 501(c)(3) non-profit.

I don't know

if these men are innocent or guilty. I don't know the situation. Maybe I'll never know. But there's a strong likelihood that-- if it wasn't these men it was someone else--somewhere someone was assaulted and the perps got away with it. It happens. It's all part of the backlash. It's overwhelming. Every time I step outside I have to face this.

The Duke Case

I don't know what went on here, if she was or wasn't raped (apparently she was, just it's unknown by whom) but those Lacrosse players, or at least (shit I forgot his name) the big one, he is a pompous asshole in my opinion, and it's completely wrong to go after the District Attorney and say he "fabricated" rape charges or whatever he did.

I'm so mad about this. Whether or not these guys did it, it makes me think that I could be raped or killed out there, and it's likely nothing will be done about it.

My friend said in her neighborhood these frat boys desecrate the streets every night, throwing beer bottles, pizza, knocking over trash cans, screaming at the top of their lungs. Or a bouncer in the club scene talked about these guys who "come in here and throw their money around...." and that he had to break up 20 fights in three days. What is happening here? Has it always been this way? What can I do?

I love my sister, but I'm mad that she chooses to associate with these people. It's the environment she grew up in, I guess.

he is eating chicken wings in slow motion

tries to button his pants. The button pops off because he's gained so much weight. There's a half-drunk pitcher of beer on the table....he starts to cry.

The Christina Aguilera song "Beautiful" is playing....

He said,

How did you feel, the last time we were together?

I said, it was good, but I was a little afraid at times, like I didn't know what you were going to do.

He said, well, to be honest, it's kind of a turn on that you were afraid.


I need to stop thinking about D, but I still have feelings for him although I am really, really mad at him. He did "trap" me. He got away with it.


But in any event, it looks like I will be going somewhere: LA LA LA yippie! I have to brush up on my driving....