Superman riverdale

Ground zero. ....news crews

The song "Blasphemous Rumors" came on my iPod while passing the news trucks ......I saw similar setups when I passes Bernie Madoff's house and the Martha Stewart trial .......satellite trucks everywhere.. ... like in the film Contact.....all photos by moi

New moon over Seton

bright and beautiful. Conjoined with something......)

Brighton Beach.....what they don't tell you

Must've happened in Land of Oz too I'd imagine

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nctYWv20jjs&feature=related

This China?

Man the stuff that goes on over there.....imagine if this was NYC.....couple falling out of a window during sex.......binding for life? Is there divorce in the universe? Speaking of "be careful what you wish for" (Pussycat Dolls) I found this sign in Riverdale.....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2350577/Lei-Zhengfu-caught-video-having-sex-teenage-mistress-jailed-13-years-corruption-charges.html

Damn......first for everything

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2350977/Chinese-couple-killed-falling-balcony-having-sex.html#addComment

New video

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S1viMsi2uoY

Hand written

Dave Insurgent

Nee (hard to find the accent as it is a French word.....maybe a little flowery to describe this guy) David Rubinstein.....from one of the birthplaces of American Punk, Forest Hills, Queens, NY. His band was Reagan Youth and had done pretty well for an underground.....they played constantly. These days were before Facebook or Twitter so to publicize their shows bands created flyers and posters. Also word of mouth.....Dave was not a saint was not terribly pleasant.....from what I heard. ? Who knows. His girlfriend was Tiffany Bresciani, a dancer from Louisiana who sadly fell victim to heroin addiction along with him. She got into a car with Joel Rifkin, telling Dave she would return in 20 minutes. She never came back. Shortly .....a few days or so later.....her body was found in Rifkin's truck. Dave committed suicide a little later. Anyway. His birthday would be today. One hell of a story.......his.....

Dreams

At my old place in JC.....it was fucked up but it was shelter for a while .....I wish things had happened differently. I am sorry they were what they were. If I could fix it I would. I had a dream there once I was dancing in a studio.....there was a mirror in front of me. I saw a man staring at me on the mirror.....like he was behind me. But I looked behind and there was no one there......sometimes it is little bizarre snaps like that that make me shudder. Was this person a ghoat or something I imagined.....

I don't believe everything I read and I know there are smoke and mirrors but there is so much I don't know only what I see and its fragments of this and that.......truth and real answers about anything are a rarity. There are those who have risked their lives and others who lost theirs to give people the truth. Without them we wouldn't know we'd be forever guessing.....

Stonehenge Manhattan

me.....this winter I think......thereabouts

Back in Jersey. Not there any more

found this site

http://ilovednewyork.com/2013/06/06/nyc-c-1985/


full of odds and ends from a different era.


People always say "it's different now" or "it was better then." Maybe they/we/whoever are only remembering the good and not the bad. I remember the better things before the not-so-good things. myself. But there's something for every time. so carpe diem. You miss it, it's gone. I learned that much.

1970s teens

Two girls Brooklyn ca. 1974 by Danny Lyon  Bushwick in the then 1974 (amazing site and more on the photograper!)

 B and W photo Jill Freedman


 Blonde is Martha Moxley, murder victim 


 I love looking at ..... I hate to say "old" at one time they were "new" but ......photos from the past. And in general. Not slicked up airbrushed ones but those that show the real people and settings. That's what inspired me to take a bunch of pictures today......and the documentary on Jodi Arias I watched where she talks about photography. So true. I enjoy being behind the camera .....being in front has its moments but it's very jarring too.



 "I watch the ripples change their size 
But never leave the stream 
Of warm impermanence and 
So the days float through my eyes 
But still the days seem the same"

  Lyrics by David Bowie

Subway rock

42nd st grand central

Subway another

This woman intrigued me

Subway

Girl on the left upset over something.

Park riverdale

Gorgeous

I wrote some brilliant tweets

Check out @lauramsaiter's Tweet: https://twitter.com/lauramsaiter/status/372206129964912640

Stalker is J's ex and she is attacking me and interfering in my relationships

Her aggression and malice toward me is breathtaking ......due to the fact that she is obsessed with Justin who wanted to marry me. She directly viciously divided me and J and is.....due to her hateful, cruel nature.....out of sheer malice.....attempting to do the same in a current relationship. I have been very unfortunate to step into a situation she is in. People who attempt to backstab think I don't know.......if they had any courage thy would confront me and the others they harm directly. They are not powerful or smart or courageous. who is anybody to interfere in anybody's relationship or career? Not only is it against the law (look it up) well there are the Pretenders "they'll fall to ruin one day/for making us part"........psalm 37 "their sword shall enter their oen heart/their bows shall be broken" I don't want to write her name.....I to my....saw her name this morning saw it and a bad sign.....I nearly vomited. She is a horrible person and mt whole life I have had to deal with people like her. People who....entitled? Somehow feel they have a right to do this. They do not have a right. She also caused problems where I was living and where I performed. Who is anybody to do that? Hoe could anybody? But such people exist. Someone else hacked into my email and I cant go too much into details sent photos of me to family members. I don't think it was her but it was somebody......invasion of privacy? Yes. Also illegal. I am targeted and what you read in the mainstream news about the spying that does not begin to describe what is happening.

Three reversed coins

Third-party interference? I have said three's a crowd I am not doing the kinky thing.....Late Pruncess Diana......I adore her......said "There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." I do know that feeling. Or maybe I AM third party interference. "Und der cherub steht vor Gott" Margaret Atwood's character Xenia.....whom I can empathize with.....I have never considered myself a siren or a temptress.....I am not. But what she goes through I can relate to. She was described by one reader as "Iago in a miniskirt." I kinda like that. Stealing one's partner....no one has that kind of power over another. I heard of a hoodoo spell where the girl takes a guy's semen and binds it with a cord to keep him faithful. Nine times that's three squared or 3x3. Three is a nasty number. But.....I remember what I went through with Brendan among others and that up and down torture......and then Justin there I said it. And.....oh there were others. Just promise me at least you won't get fat.....I banged my head against a wall for years and poured my heart......and for what? I don't want three ever again. I found three pennies all upside down three is off balance and a ......triangle? Amy Winehouse joked about not being molded into a triangle and much has been made of it.....whether or not there was a hidden meaning .....I grew up in Tribeca JFK Jr was with two women when.....once when I was a teenager I was with thus guy and his girlfriend walked in. She was screaming that she was going to kill me and I thought she was too.....I went into fight or flight I chose to be "big bad and mean" Charles Mansons advice......so she'd think I was crazy and dangerous and would leave me alone. She screamed at me to get out I was shaking so hard I almost convulsed....shaking hell by Sonic Youth?

Gossip?

I think slippery elm is the "stfu" as Dr. E said herb......Emmaline Pankhurst said "you have to make more noise than anybody else. You have to fill the papers more than anybody else.....if you want ti get your reform realized." There was gossip going back to cavepeople told around a campfire or like the Greek chorus.....people in your business......."better her than me....."

Lately obsessed with Don Henley Eagles

"Dirty little secrets/dirty little lies/ got our dirty little fingers/in everybody's pie"

Keep repeating

But it keeps happening: Hitler said the bigger the lie the more people will believe it. This may be the biggest lie ever told. Ever. This one is monumental upon monolithic upon gargantuan .....bigger than the former world trade center sears tower mount Everest grand canyon and.....what else? Combined. It's its own planet.
Glad dir the truth which according to greek myth is always Slippery and elusive. Glass $lipper for Cindy! Tra la la waltz right in......freedom is terrifying. But beautiful. Those who fight the truth fight like one would never have dreamed possible.....but I am thankful for it. Emotions can be weapons and deadly. You can break a person down by breaking their heart harder and faster than a bullet. Those who would are the lowest and the worst of humanity. Humans are evil! It's in our DNA. But the truth came out and my self esteem is saved and restored. I had always thought I had failed. I was bad or wrong. But I am not. No one is. But the lie prevailed and I was damned over and over again. Truth comes out sets one free but truth can get you killed. One crusade?

Love the smell and feel of air dried clothes

The weather is nice and I love it by the beach. I can hang my clothes on the line and I did...my purse glitter gloves dress ect ....I can't sleep because my housemate left out something garlicky it reeks they say garlic repels vampires that's me I guess.....and mosquitos. Overall the people are nice the girl here and her guy are cool......the lady upstairs very sweet.

Ok it was this woman upstairs

Very sweet older....who lit them. I am bleary eyed and incredulous .....have to forget and remember......how much there is to life and what doesn't kill a person can be fodder for art. I have to remember how much more there is... I don't accept what I can't control but I live I deal in spite of. That the future is unknown and that which is ......there are so many possibilities .. .I have been reached out to by those who were before miles many separated. But I have my own obligations and it thoroughly tires me but must be done,.........reading about the JFK Jr. Stuff and crash......wow......fascinating

Candles

? Well they're pretty. Shrug

Bizarre

I came out of my room and there were two white candles lit.....I didn't light them neither did my housemates the doors are locked. They didn't light themselves. Someone did this. ????? They thought I lit them I didn't.....

apologies

In light of what happened with Cory Monteith I am joking but I suppose the timing is bad. I am profoundly sorry for what happened to him and that could have really been, well, a lot of us. But.......sigh.....one feels what one does. It .....

Bbd

Could be this person's more of a drug addict than you it wasn't personal?

In finishing that last

Bisexual dope fiend.....it occurred to me that could be anyone in Los Angeles. Am I on the wrong coast? ??
I don't really want that.
James Woods is one of my favorite tweeeters although I don't share his political perspective he writes funny imtelligent and thoughtful stuff. He once said something to the effect of "Everyone in Hollywood wants the BBD bigger better deal. I have to check the box office listing every time I go to a party to make sure I'm not getting a divorce that night." Well. Hm. I love NYC and don't intend to leave......there is truly now as ever an overflow of creativity here everything art music maybe more than ever. No reason to leave. BUT. There is the world too. Summer is short and its not all a vacation. I am pressured to cram a lot into a short time. So. So. Next?

Found a play by David Mamet

Last morning. A hippie guy with a sweet black cat was selling it. I wad never really into his work but figured what the hell bought it for a dollar. The Cherry Orchard. All about people all over the place in love. The same theme.....not with the one. I was laughing that I am picky and have to find the one as wrong as possible and I haven't found anyone wrong enough yet. Vanilla? Nope. Cinnamon . My ex boyfriend once told me I like men who look like all they do is smoke. Bisexual dope addict?

Brighton morning (couple meanings)

Days

Night was chilly. My friends are hurting that hurts me. Egypt having......major problems. People here don't see how most people everywhere are good and not really different from them. But things happen. Kennedy's plane crashed over .....I went to a wedding once at Martha's Vineyard. It was quaint and pretty but understated. I had started to write about my experience in Cape Cod. Another esaay for that.....point being I suppose I ......you think ............ will be a solution but I am just reliving the nightmare because I have to shake off the ugliness.....in hoodoo it's called crossed conditions. In my family we are kings and queens of that. Black plastic frames same brown eyes hippie hair he reminded me of my uncle Pat. His expression was......in this photo......somewhere between a frown and a wince...a telling look like they're about to drop something unpleasant on someone .....like break up. Was that a sign? J had that same expression in the camping pictures.. .the trip he took with Leila.....unbeknownst to me the girl he made out with that Wednesday the 25th of June the day Michael Jackson died. Horrors! Horrors! Horrors! Nothing is worse, nothing nothing. There's. A div. In here......that last place in JC after lady good work the window cracked into a triangle. I am in this same position always finally to be discarded read about Lamars mistress I feel for her situation. She went to U if M same as my mom. I have been in her shoes. Its a terrible thing what he is doing to his wife.....but .....he said he can't leave because .......because he won't? Whatever. In Calabasas California Michael Jackson died and across country.....first at Bowery and Houston them somewhere in the Hudson Valley J made out with another girl while I was working I get this dropped on me thanks a lot. Then subsequently went camping. I could only........but while he and I were walking together later. After tears shed (mine) candles lit (one catching on fire next to the Madonna (hm) and a message "you are in great danger." Indeed. J didn't even remember Leila's name or her ethnicity. I corrected him. "She was what Italian?" I believe she was Serbian. He also got her name wrong. Everything hung on his behavior and decisions. I was terrible. I did something terrible. I felt guilty. I was remorseful.....but I don't want to know or see this person. I don't want to see that. I don't. Want to cause .....hit me like a cannon and only by a miracle didn't kill me. I wanted death. I planned my death. Twice. And I deserve a happy summer. I believe ........death is everywhere past is prologue. I feel death feel chills when someone is dying.........

Freaky signs

Maybe I am overblowing it. But I doubt it. There are some very deranged people who have bad intent toward me. It is terrifying.

Subway stalker?

A woman on the f train to Bklyn.....Spanish lady.....was sitting near me and giving me this fixating stare of hatred. She would not stop staring at me. Very rude. This has happened to me other times with other people. Why would ....
I don't know this woman I have never done anything to her, ever. Her or......any of them . Ever. What is it with people who want to gurt someone who never did anything to them? She stormed off the train with this angry look on her face. I know her type exactly. Abusers are above all arrogant unapologetic and their wrath and vindictiveness is unending. I will never understand or accept it.

Tweets

Check out @lauramsaiter's Tweet: https://twitter.com/lauramsaiter/status/366748994573049858

Sorry I am

Jotting down these things as they come a little disjointed ......I don't claim to like everyone. Rather....it's not about like or dislike. Most people are just human, with good and bad (quote unquote) qualities. I would be lying if I said I don't get jealous catty angry but.....it's not right you know and.....there are those who go too far in attacking others writing.....taking extremely personal jabs at someone regardless that is not ok. I don't want to be that. Anyone can say anything it's washroom graffiti in cyberspace. Technology will improve but humans are humans.
But what I am talking about goes beyond a simple dislike of a person or I believe in "hate the sin love the sinner" not because I am religious I just mean in terms of behavior. I am sorry if I ever damaged anyone unnecessarily...
But others have done that multiplied practically infinitely. Jodi Arias is American but she wad not let off the hook as I have seen suggested about American women....are we really so spoiled, hysterical, irresponsible because feminism made us think we can do what we want? That is not true and perhaps Italians saw Amanda Knox that way. I have also studied abroad and for whatever reason I have never encountered so much anti Americanism......to the level of shrill piercing outrage.....and this from young people too......as I did studying on London. I haven't been everywhere but I have been a few places and this is what I experienced. I never saw anything like it in France, Egypt....Germany it's hard to fathom. These people thought all we did was watch TV and we lived like the characters on Dynasty. I can only laugh at this because there are always people who fit a stereotype but of course it's untrue most of the time. Or maybe I am the exception. I don't live that way. I doubt that's true either. "Dumb Americans" but AK was neither dumb nor spoiled JA either.

email hacked

somehow obscene pictures of me have circulated via email to people I know and family. I cannot imagine the level of sickness of someone who would do this.......the lowest life form there is and one I have no interest in knowing. Google plus? Pinterest? I never signed onto these things. Ever. Sick. Horribly sick. Possibly there is a severely disturbed individual out there who takes offense to some things I write. Too fucking bad. It's a free country and it's my right to express an opinion.

Ran for an hour. My god. It was dark at first.....nice and quiet but gross. This was by the river......west side, on the bike path. I kept thinking if all the awful stuff that has happened to mostly female runners at hours like this. But no one approached me. It was well lit, police cars drove by, there were late night revelers and couples and people walking their dogs. I am grateful to be in the city when it's somewhat safr but of course there is no guarantee. Things happen it has nothing to do with who you are just such the world. I was thinking about the murder of that poor girl Meredith Kercher in Italy how she liked quiet time to herself and mysteries.....yeah the irony is chilling. I....know obviously it is self serving to say this and of course when I say that could have been me it naturally could have been anyone in my situation like in Jersey City when I was alone in that house. It was a safe area but all it takes is one mf with bad intentions.....and many people there had that toward me it seemed. And likewise had I been in Amanda Knox's shoes probably the same would have happened to me. I could only imagine if they found my private writings. I know what it is to have inflammatory aspersions put on you. By female police officers.
I watched an episode of TZ last night guess I will watch the rest this am.....I am on W4th wolfed down an omelette with cottage cheese and shredded fries madly craving carbs I guess. I bought star magazine and will ....well needed for the train. Regular news didn't peak my interest.....

some

Times respect speaks louder than love. But if someone doesn't respect you can they really love you? Saw three names that shook me up and frightened. Me. Saw a man walking around Brooklyn completely naked. It was night. After being at a friends house coming home .....I have never in my life seen anything like that even growing up in the city. Even in greenwich Village. Hear me roar. Roar?

Dreams

I dreamt jrm was being taught a move and I laughed I thought he said fuck you. Then he asked to borrow my phone. Then I was in a house two separate rooms a guy was staying don't remember the details but I said a woman was helping him decorate she was in there fixing up the room turned out this woman had been dead for many years. Her ghost was in the room. In the closet. I was going to introduce her to him bit she was a ghost......I opened the closet to find her she was there.....hollow wide eyed.....

Twists and fall deep deep deeper

Life only gets bizarre more twisted and nonsensical the more you try to make sense of it. Dig through the maze you only go deeper into it. Though believe me I am not the first to say this. Ok I am going to cite yet again dammit just cant help I am starting to feel like a wierdo in JFK there is the line "we're through the looking glass/black is white/white is black".......The film Network Paddy Chayefsky and TV (typhoon!) opened up the golden gates to the world the let in the floods of punk rock. Though it makes sense. How else would the world know about Tania, Patty Hearst, tricky dick ect than via the media? I was not exposed to a lot of TV as a kid I ("never mind the stars and stripes lets burn the Watergate tapes/I'll salute the New Age/ and hope nobody escapes"--the Clash) and.....("hail the New Age/it's a rat cage/join the place for breeding dumb species" Kim/Marty/Ricky.....Wilde) I am not sorry I missed out on a lot of the idiocy though.....I was a punk rock teen and there was no internet people were just out.....congregating in the same place......everything was word of mouth. There was no downloading but there were bootlegged copies of everything.....no omg well there was of kinds. There was revolution Yuppicide and sex.....with the fear of catching HIV and dying (kind of a mood kill pardon the pun).....and the rumor mill. After all......we were human. But. The ones the world despised and yet a money maker for those same people. Talk about rape! This was worse.....the medium is the message the bigger the lie and all that....."they" knew what they were doing.

Moi

Check out @lauramsaiter's Tweet: https://twitter.com/lauramsaiter/status/359429350472437760

It's the 27th thinking about "27club"

Coincidence? Reading on Amy Winehouse's death.....I hadn't been a huge fan of her while she was alive.....the media obsession with her over the top.....but it's very moving and intriguing. Something about programming murder and such.....drum beats? The witness is not credible......anyone can say anything and often do.........

Foxy Knoxy News

I am now an impromptu photojournalist. This was down on Essex St at Rev Men's bday bash. Noticeably absent Justin and Chris. Would have been nice cause I loved hanging with J and I still miss him......plus I could have crashed at his place. I have Horrors Management Long Island White Trash Slumlord to thank for the fact that instead I have to get back on the F to the A up to Inwood .....but AT LEAST I don't have to go to jersey city.
Wow. I at first wrote crashed on his couch. Proof.....that it's over. As these things do. Anyway. It still would have been nice to see him. However, all were not absent. It was so nice to see the same crowd from Bo Po: Gerber, Jen, John K.....I think Microphone. Now I am sitting in a divey steak place eating nachos for dinner and.....I passed the Slipper Room God how I miss dancing and ....though I did at St. Marks last night. SR I have neglected though soon soon.......) I am now a journalist see ....(name redacted) your words that I can't do it didn't deter me. With respect you also said cats are ruthless killers. Sorry but that was debunked by animal rights activists.
My new set is GENIUS. I have been thinking of Edinburgh and met some lovely girls from OZ I think they're called Box last night who will be there. I wish Blaise St Mary would come back but he's in California.....
Anyhow.....here is my clip of the anti slam: about to get on the train and read Amanda Knox's Waiting to be Heard get it folks it's great)

Hall and Oates I Can't Go For That

I am so lovin' the D.......still......you know geniuses (?) Think alike.......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccenFp_3kq8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

So.....sixth ave

Sitting in Waverly Diner with the best omelettes in NYC (was listening to the Emmaline Pankhurst speech you can't male an omelette without breaking an egg......and many were broken).

..there's the way it should be and the way it is.....that was said in the film Platoon. I used to watch that film constantly even though.....I was eighteen.....I did not identify as a soldier. But I didn't fully understand. It's not always a choice. Digress......so sitting here on 6th Ave my bill $13 (a recurring theme in my life) I am looking through the kaleidoscope into back then. The bookstore is boarded up.....proud to say ha! The new residents here are super rich and super illiterate (um, dare I say it? The kardashians. Disgraceful. Sorry, but that's my opinion of them. This is LA culture? Heavens help I hope not. LA, stop embarrassing yourself, please. You gave us Marilyn Monroe...... Homeless people in cardboard boxes here. Some of them undercover cops. So it was told. But sixth Ave I am pleased to say has not changed much otherwise. Just funky and......a mass of insanity and endless stampede of partyers flaunting rainbows and pipes all kinds.....

Cosmo q and a part trois

Sounds like "twat" Freudian? I did them some stuff I am not proud of. Here I was an amazing girl having moved here with mom from Chicago our own little diaspora? Is it a factor of distance? Perhaps not. Chicago to NYC is not a long way. But typically in my family things that are not a huge deal are treated as grand tragic opera. It was played to the hilt......therapists helped in some ways but in other ways created suffering where there was not any. My life was disrupted, they said. To take me out of Chicago was destroying my life and scarring me forever. Sorry. There is more to this. This software is messed up. My happy home life childhood and, subsequently I were being split and divided. Perhaps. But so it is. We were on the threshold of a new era. I have never been or identified as a child. I don't like kids never did, was bullied in elementary school.....and spent a lot of time with people older than me. Though I did have girlfriends my own age, too. I loved the smurfs, ect. And Dallas.

Cosmo q and a part deux

Who is your secret celebrity crush? I don't get crushes only obsessions....of the love-me-or-I-am-going-to-commit-suicide variety.....I would threaten guys with that as a teenager. But,you know,glad I didn't cause they weren't worth it. I moved on. But the French fries were good. With ketchup.

I will elaborate. When.....I have to tell the whole story.....when I was fifteen I hung around a group called Gay and Lesbian Youth of NY.l myself am not gay, but a part of me has always identified more with the world's disenfranchised. This guy named Michele used to hang around GLYNY too. He, like me, was straight. He was a sleazy douche.....hitting on women and girls.....me one day he decided to make his next target. He took me out and bought me food....french fries......then .....was all over me.....then because of my age he backed off.....but I then saw it as abandonment and because of my past I couldn't handle that.....it was my biggest fear. Too many guys knew that about me and used that to control me,or try to. They maybe didn't realize it or admit it but it makes sense. By humiliating me they became more powerful.

Cosmo 25 questions?

I will answer one. Should handwritten. One can never have too much .....chocolate. soda. 0ther things I won't mention.

Photos

Sull aria?

I wish I could sing these songs..... impress people.....that I know Italian which I don't ...
I sound like the can opener......or a cat schreeching.....singing is not my thing. I have other talents that I have been given.
...they'd probably throw watermelons at me. Or tomatoes....or no anything is possible. I am learning fast I am good.....the language. I can mouth the words.I listened to a lot of classical music in school....Aria .....breeze..... Jodi Arias..... .....her and? Plotting to expose Travis' double life (sotto i pini del boschetto) though I personally would have seen that a mile away.....no need for an elaborate plot. Sad you know.....if it were up to me I would open the gates and set her free. I believe she is innocent though she did some really dumb things the main one being that she dated Travis. What argument can she make? I was young and messed up.....I didn't know what I was doing.....

Brief hello

Sorry for my absenteeism. Putting together new material and rehearsing hard. The past couple weeks have been rigorous. To say the least. So.....current interests including a heartfelt emotional testimony what have you on my first trip to nyc .....reading Schiller and Goethe in the original language....
My German's not that good and much of the beauty of the language is lost in translation .....but gradually getting there. Actually fairly fast. Schiller was absolutely a genius. I was partly inspired by a cousin of mine to read these authors. What else? Oh yes. The spying. None of this news is really news to me. Why me a target I may have my quirks but something this clandestine and highly sophisticated and.....make no mistake they knew what they were doing....why me? If so it is. Anyway.

Jodi Arias Dirty Little Secret

Lines:

Travis: I'll call you when I'm done.

Jodi: Done what? Screwing those bimbos?

Travis:Well, I have to get them drunk first don't I?

Watched some of this am  getting into ....Tania Raymonde is pretty decent in it.....of ...I mean I'd be lying if I said I never felt what she/the character feels.....I have never stabbed anyone or been violent though I am still not believing that she either did it or if she did......that she did it alone. .....even in my darkest days thank heaven I had other outlets..
In my situation I am unfamiliar with this community growing up in Chicago and New York I had no contact, really, with anything to the west of that except for a few trips.....I went with my then boyfriend to Arizona.....I like the heat but that was too much.....I can't bear to be shut up in air conditioning all the time I want to be free to walk out.  Only once did I have to break down and buy an AC because my room was too hot even for me. I can't sleep with one on or even the fan. I close the windows and any air blowing irritates me and makes me sick .....I like going to sleep warm and waking up in a sweat. When I was in Scotland I couldn't take the cold and this was summer.....big mistake not to bring a portable heater. I would sneak into the kitchen turn on the stove and sleep on a table......where we cooked stuff..I remember the first time doing that after a week of lying in cold air that scratched my nose and not allowed any heat and feeling underwater and disoriented with the flu or perpetually running nose.....finally the feeling of warmth for the first time and my body coming together again. I love Scotland and Scottish people but next time I go i will not forget a portable heater and electricity converter.
Digression..... anyway.....I watched this movie partly in Brooklyn will go into more later.....
If I dare say but I will it's a free country.....my opinion only.....Jodi did not do the killing. I have NO idea what she was doing with him because I would have bolted out of there so fast before you could blink if any guy fed me the absurd nonsense he did her. Not to mention all that other stuff. You couldn't get me far enough away fast enough. Plus.....not that that's everything but I don't think he was all that good looking. I don't get what she was doing with him but he probably didn't deserve to die. Likely.....I am guessing but others have said the same.....someone else did the dirty work and left Jodi to take the fall. Too bad she should have asked for a lawyer up front. Ok. Well, there you have it. My hypothesis.

True north? Or roulette ...

It's easy to see the bad more than the good.....when you're in it. Once again I am sorry for behaving badly. I was caught in a tornado I had.......it was more than I had ever been prepared for. Nothing made sense. I was very savagely attacked for no reason.   My mom and her then husband and I.....I was around ten. . It was the best of times it was the worst of times. I know it's been said ad nauseum.......but true in my case.....she and Jon (sorry to drag up the past!) had a fight to end all fights. I heard, rather than saw.  This is while we were visiting his parents in Cape Cod (the birth place incidentally of J's ex .....). One  carries the legacy of the past. From The Tempest: "past is prologue." Also in the film JFK..... I was weird then too but otherwise a typical kid from the Chicago suburbs. Mom and Jon fell out......sad you know my grandmother was dying.....I was a child fortunately shielded from the horrors of cancer but I guess I sensed underneath the surface.....my mom took me on a side trip to NYC. Spur of the moment. We weren't impulsive people my mom is a pretty meticulous planner.
But it happens.....I read a biography of my hero, Natalia Makarova, where she talked about spontaneous random acts like that shaped her life, despite her plans and projects. Pause. But remembering the past clarifies the unspeakable horror of the present.....recognize patterns. "If the moon smiled, she would resemble you/you leave the same impression/of something beautiful, but annihilating" Sylvia Plath "todestone/I should leave you in the center of my forehead/and let the dead sleep as they deserve." And I crawled out ....when I was in Edinburgh we were made to watch these bizarre Japanese films about people being swallowed by the bed..... Very scary fight. Then mom took me in the car, driving to? I was bored and restless.

Real McCoy in light of Edward Snowden

This song came out in around 1995-96. Correction....my bad! Brainchild of dozens of people it seems, mostly in Europe. I was in school, living in the dorm.....ah life was good. I was dating a guy named Al. Reading a book on Anne Sexton. Auditioning. And this was on the radio constantly:

"Big Brother is watching you 
Unlock your brain and save your soul
Life in a perfect system
Take the stand and fight for freedom
Keep the faith and run away

Money sex and thought control
A generation without soul
Perfect people in a perfect world
Behind closed doors all in control
...cold cash money mentality"

Don't want to violate copyright laws you know I could be .....well life is short ....
So. Things have really changed since then.....and you thought they were kidding!