times and storms

It's Sylvia Plath's birthday.......poor dead genius. This makes me a little teary. I'm not sure the mechanics of it all.....my head is hurting, my flesh is weak, there's a storm coming......I'm being tortured and have been for days now. I am, in the words of the great U.S. hero Timothy McVeigh, broken but unbowed. Perhaps her soul has inspired me and I've reached out to people I've been thinking about for some time but didn't have the courage to. But with the moon waxing into full, Plath's anniversary......and who knows what building, and cinnamon, patchouli burning in the window, the Sun having just entered Scorpio.......now's the time. And......I may have just made a total fool of myself. Also in terms of the storm......? This changes a lot. Not sure what I'll do.....

Page of Staves

got this twice: page of staves. as some kind of adversary, but right side up so maybe this is not an ill-intentioned person. weird. says she (probably a she) will be helpful. twice I got that a young female is going to help me or hurt me or both........always unclear ..... This is so well-written this site and insightful........in times of crisis I come here.....


who is this ? or is it me they're talking about? I'm in my own way and I'm going to help myself? 

this is what they wrote :

Page of Staves: A young person of faithful countenance who, even unintentionally, helps others. An unofficial Hermes: a carrier of important news, an envoy, a guide, a pleasant stranger. A suave, bring and noble soul.


Twice something about this. ......! 

getting back

hi there...... well. there's supposed to be a bitch of a storm coming my way to lovely jersey city! I hope that means with the storm will come a super duper super surge of stuff my way! Things I've been asking for.......



 

Say It Isn't So - Hall & Oates

I used to watch this video when I lived in Chicago....haven't seen it in many many many moons....but now I recognize they're on the water....same where I was running constantly before my injury

Goth store, Halloween

oh good ness gracious where does the time go? Still have no Halloween plans, though I can guess to myself in an ideal world what I'd do. This is an amazing corner of New York City, near a church I was taken to as a high schooler. There's a crazy costume store right next to it.....how do I say? Cheesy maybe to say but .....how to put it.....it's otherworldly.

I

am just mad because I wasted so much time on this issue. And.......suffered unnecessarily. Absolutely unnecessarily. Jesus where was my sanity? People tried to tell me I admit I turned a blind eye. This all coincided, if you want to call it that, with Michael Jackson's death......Amy Winehouse died near my birthday. I read something about soul appropriation or...well anyway. Not me trying to do this.

sitting on the bus today, in the rain

watching the city......still fascinated by the 1970s or obsessed or something. I'd been discussing with a friend the subject of parallel universes.....a giant collider, I think that's what it's called, running between Germany and Switzerland......that can target and separate the tiniest atom particles. The name will come back. Somehow there is a connection with this and the above mentioned. This article I saw in National Examiner (fine, laugh...hey it's not me writing this) said if parallel universes exist then somewhere Elvis is alive, and has been and will be living the same life thousands of times over. Ditto of course for everyone else. But this is slowly being proven. How bizarre is life......Everything we've been taught is wrong?

again

I have much to add ...... some women are so desperate to keep a man who is not in love with them it's.....I've heard of them resorting to basically blackmail/extortion. No joke. That's when you KNOW you are pathetic!

Money Pak scam?

Something going on here. Something really not good. Ugh.

cafe pick me up

makes the most awesome bruschettas...I think they're called that. honey, goat cheese, fresh coriander....something like that. I think. It's a pretty setting, too. Unfortunately, a friend of mine had a problem with one of the waiters there, who harassed her. Same at Simone. That is obviously not ok. Too bad.....I was fond of these places.....

sorry(

so behind. catching up

Today is my father's birthday

Happy Birthday Dan! Love you and may you be in a better place.

good news

I have a space heater now.....because of this I am getting scads of sleep which is helping

GOD DAMN IT

lost my phone again. so aggravating! off to get a replacement.....

have to have heat

off to find a heater......I went to five stores yesterday and could not find one. Amazingly I managed to sleep....a lot.....and not get sick which I normally do when I sleep in the cold. It's actually kind of nice, like a crispy chilliness not that relentless grey gloom that comes typically with winter, though it's still fall. I'm so behind on my plans don't know what on earth to do for Halloween except, hmm? Either go out and party hardy or else something peaceful and private. I'd normally do the second one.

OMG search?

Not sure how I ended up there. Anyway. I took down some stuff as the response I got was a little unsettling. They aren't "nude" pictures anyway.....weren't meant to be taken as that. The other stuff....that person is gone thankfully. Period. It also ......it just wasn't my best stuff. I have written many many pages by hand which I'll transcribe shortly. Crazy as always.

it shall be soon. I'm on super super deadline for something else. Was supposed to do that but inexplicably ended up writing til 5am. maybe I should submit this instead.

wall art in NYC

While I was walking around one night....getting on the train I found this painting. Not sure the artist.....I thought it was pretty disturbing but well done.

at rite aid, a few days ago

This is Hoboken at like 7am or so. It was a really pretty scene with the seagulls flying around. They were having their breakfast, I suppose. I fed them a couple slices of blueberry cake.

since I'm here

at the computer with no pen, among other problems......I'll post some of my art.....

oh.....

this day is the anniversary of something.......oh god. I know this date very well. Maybe that has to do with what I'm writing about.......anyway.

today, last night

IOOh I believe, though I haven't checked thoroughly....it's the beginning of fall equinox. Not surprisingly, considering the intensity of everything. On the up side well a bunch of things. I'm writing new material first time in a while. It's pretty crazy......stuff......everything will be done far differently this time as now I konw what I'm doing. A few other new things. One terrible thing, or person rather, is leaving FINALLY .....this creep who moved in as a neighbor who was yelling at me and threatening and spying on me is LEAVING may he never return. I was feeling unsafe for the first time ever where I was living. His stupid smoke alarm went off the other morning while he was out. He's the only one who smokes. The window fell as I was trying to fix it...mine....as it cracks in an annoying way....and I cut my finger, or rather it did. Blood spurt out for a bit......finally it began to clot and dry and I guess I'll live. My leg was sprained and I had to stay off it for a week I am feeling dreadfully out of shape but it's finally healed thank you very much.....ice and tons of rest.


Dreams:

This one....just this afternoon, or rather from yesterday.....I was auditioning for Star Wars.....walked into some kind of basement but like a studio......all kinds of machinery and like ships and stuff like a set. The cast of the film was there....but instead of them like their bodies they were plastic....like Barbie dolls or something....but still moving and talking normally.  These women who used to be in a feminist group I used to visit were admitting people....and they, one of them, was lecturing me about not showing up to something or forgetting...but she let me through. Had me fill out some kind of paper.....you know like the ones they give you. 


Side note: I'm obsessed with the make up tutorials by Pixiwoo.....she's putting on red mascara in one I'm watching. I've gotta try that.....this particular woman Sam has eyes like mine though hers are like sea green...gorgeous.....anyhow. Digression.

The night before I dreamt I was in Egypt. Maybe due to some crazy article I read online on ritual murders.....pretty fucked up obviously. Let me just say that ANYONE who thinks performing a ritual murder is going to help them in any way like a sacrifice to the gods.....is not a sane human being nor an example of anything. In one particular instance it backfired on this person.....what a dumbwit. Anyway. So I am in Egypt and going back to a place I stayed in when I was there. Except I didn't stay there but rather used to live in an apartment in Evanston when I lived there as a kid that looked like that. I think this guy I had been seeing was there, too. The next night....there was a show on about Egypt I heard on the TV ...I could hear from my room.


I had this feeling like the blood spilling from me earlier was like some kind of symbolic part of the rite of fall....something like that. The new moon. And from elsewhere. Have to say blood rather fascinates me. I was reading an article on bloodstain pattern analysis.....as well as on the suicide/suspected murder of Kurt Cobain among others..... Freakily similar. But to go into that is.....too long for now. Oh, yes. And something else. I don't want to reveal too much....but such was not what I thought.....some new unexpected element has entered. But that too perhaps pissed some off.....? hm.

Madonna booed off stage in Paris after fans pay £200 a head for concert ...

  I'm being harsh here but for a reason.....one of real humanity among other things; and in the service of art and spirituality, that which is genuine and from the source. At the beginning Madonna told people to "start saving their pennies, I'm worth it." Hm. Doesn't seem that way, does it? I could have told these people from the get go to spend their money for much better, higher purposes. I only am exposing this ugly truth for what it is in the instance of some horrific and terrible acts of brutality I've witnessed from those in her circles, and her. And for the fact that there are those who attempted to censor and harm me. I thank the workings of justice, peace and human rights. In French they were saying the show should have been free. I would not go to see it if they paid me.

checking in!

I have not really been able to sleep well. So much going on. I'm brimmed over. All spilling out. I was hurt in my right knee (same problem, goes away, comes back) I twisted and sprained the hell out of it. For three days I had to stay as inactive as possible, considering this is NYC and it's not really possible to do that. There's someone renting a room where I live who is creepy and weird and who I pray and will and whatever else will work will leave because I'm getting a vibe like the Unibomber or you know  that type. Part of why I'm distressed and restless. Not the only reason. There are other, better things, thank you. But so much of what I thought was......how do I say? There've been some drastic changes. A lot of bizarre happenings. My instincts turned out to be not paranoia but very real and true. 

I'm listening to Sasha and Digweed Delta Heavy....God I don't get tired of writing about them! Something about this mix.....was so wound up I put this on at 5am.......what is it? Partly that I refuse to be in NYC for winter and Miami is one place I'll be alternately.....I love it there! White sand and sea shells, to start. And of course the waves.....other stuff I won't go into .....

as for the present

Yes I have lots going on and am.....I have to memorize my own words as I'm supposed to recite them tomorrow night. I'm really prepared! Last night.....for .....I had been kind of brainstorming this week for new material and anyhow....I got the idea to do a monologue...as I hadn't done anything really dramatic or seen any plays in so long. It's nice to see people do that because it's relatively rare. It was from a Margaret Atwood book....and went over fabulously. I relate so strongly to the material and to the character.....even though she's more or less a villain in the book.

so that and.......I took a million great photos but had some kind of problem uploading them....I will try to do this presently......these were taken around the city at night....the first is a costume shop next to Grace Church.......more graffiti art....and at the train station.

hi.....D!D ect

It's been yet again a while since I posted. Now that I have better internet access.......

I went to Under St. Marks yesterday.....performed at 2:30 AM as usual.....I wonder if I'm destined to perform with Goodwin, the rappers and Bob Bell. I think I am. But I could do worse! They're all brilliant acts....I'm very pleased that there is so much creativity in the city still. I made some new friends last night who were kind enough to shelter me at their place in Washington Heights and save me the tedious trip back to Jersey City at 3 in the morning. They had the most darling three cats; one was kind of a midget and very super friendly. It's so pretty up there.....as are the buildings and apartments. Sigh. It brought back memories being up there....of when I lived there at different times in my life. I found John Digweed's Global Underground album on YouTube I suppose a bootlegged copy. I've had so many copies and versions of that CD! Back....what was it? Like 13 years ago, goodness.......weird how the past comes back to bite you or maybe just slap you in the butt! My friends live at the train station I used to get off at back then......I had broken up with my boyfriend of the time (whom I ran into by the Path train recently....him coming back from a "rave" he looks the same and hasn't changed....) and took a room up in the Heights in a panic as I had hardly anywhere else. It's a mostly Dominican neighborhood.......this place I used to go to for cafe con leche in the mornings there......there's probably nowhere in NYC where they make them that great. You just won't find it. The person I rented from was a real prick, unfortunately. Everyone was cool except the one I was in most proximity with. But......for the time being.....I know that period so intensely because it was a time in which at times I suffered horribly BUT something happened in the interim and I became really blessed too.....cheesy? There was so much change occurring. For a while...it was great. I moved in with a friend of my mom's who lived downtown (after I fell out with that person up there) and my job was on Whitehall Street....so few people have the luxury of paying very low rent to live in lower Manhattan......I'd get these giant Mochas in the morning on the way to work.....so I'm listening to this CD now and anyway. That and being in that area. All in the summer and year leading up to 9/11. And I'd had many premonitions of that as well. For a while, though.......it was good. I used to make weekend trips to London, Berlin. Where am I going with this.....? ??? And performing, then, in my friend Andru McCann's show.....and he was so sweet as he recently cast me in one of his films........! I hadn't acted in forever. Anyway. 

So I got off the train from the Heights coming back to the present.....they were kind enough to let me doze off after that very intense night on St. Marks.......I must have stuffed my face in a copybook way....from last night perogis (from the Ukrainian place) cream, beer, whiskey soda and today veggie burgers, cheese and fries.....hardly diet food.....I got off the train at 66th street (the signs there.....as I have the OCD obsession with numbers.....66th street on one side then another became 6666.......? meaning of that?) because the car I was in had no AC and usually I like it on the warm side but this was ridiculous.....I was sweating miserably and wearing the outfit from last night....starting to feel like trailer trash indeed.....and very fat. I went over to ------- and not sure what I'd do except use the computers because they are much faster than what I have in JC. I used to run constantly on the west side bike path but in spite of articles I read recently saying running is good for joints......after my injury from this summer I"m worried I'd hurt myself......but I can write and finally upload all these pix......

thanks to you uptown for hosting me)

I am.....

these my earrings 
these ones diamonds 
the others gold 
the silver of the moon I am of it 

I've stepped outside myself I can't feel my mind 
all us, never was anything but 
it was a box, a horror hell I was shut in

all these sparks are mine 





my new words. still have to finish memorizing. why is this hard? the news is full of intense stuff. I'm waiting to see many people whom I miss. I hope I see them soon. 

Buying books.....cause I still do.....

I went to Barnes and Nobles...the one down on Warren St. First of all....don't know if I wrote this before....I had discovered, at the neighboring Whole Foods, this machine that takes your blood pressure. This is when I was running by the river ( I miss that. Hoboken across the way....... Soon.) But my BP and oxygen saturation levels are all at normal. One less, better still! I .......I guess I'm someone who needs......what do I say? Maybe inspiration of some kind?

So I ....excuse my digression.....went to B and N because there are some books I REALLY want to read but they didn't have the ones I wanted. I was talking to the clerk, a young man.......maybe it was for moral reasons what have you.....I was asking for a book "Autobiography of a Blue Eyed Devil" by Inga Muscio.....which was out. This is a very important book and this store has a way of not having the books I want to read...that I consider important. Another was one on Pope Joan......which was a best seller in Europe. They did, however, have another book by Muscio...the clerk  told me, "I don't want to say it...." and showed me the screen....it was her other book "Cunt." I  then asked if they had "Rhett Butler's People" I think the author is named Donald McCegg....I have to check but due to my not being able to run too many windows I'm delaying.....also out. Finally...dying to read this..... "All the President's Men" by Bernstein and Woodward. I didn't get that...though they had it.....for some reason....I ended up getting a Bantam copy of Pride and Prejudice. Mainly because every time I'm in the store, any book store, there are, at every blink of an eye, always more spinoffs on this story. I've read it a couple times....but often there's stuff you miss the first or second....I'm reading that now having watched one BBC miniseries with my mom recently. Yes.....it all has sunk in much more than previously......awesome story of course.......

And the crime stories.....recently finished, and am re-reading.....Pulse by John Lutz. I looked for Single White Female (that one in particular I'm interested in) ......

more to come....

The internet access here is slow...... I have some great stuff which I will post as SOON as I get a better connection.

So yes it's been a while....but I have not been idle. My knee is slowly coming into its own me being the drama queen I imagined the worst.....but cross fingers ect. good. I haven't run....anywhere except, kind of funny, briefly around my room. I am on the ground floor and there are no people downstairs.  I have TONS of really great pictures to post but I'm having trouble doing this .....presently...to be fixed.

I do have a back yard which needs a lot of work. I know there are feral cats running around the area......don't even want to get started on this topic. For personal reasons. But...I bought some food and have been leaving it out....and someone is eating it. The cans are empty and the food is eaten. I hear one cat but don't see him.....and the neighbor's dogs bark I think when he/she comes around. Anyone want to fix up this yard? Just needs to be weeded. I did this once.....at another place. You need mosquito repellant .....and to keep your legs and arms covered. There's even a BBQ pit someone left....don't know how workable it is. .....? I never do that.

I will be back shortly......much more exciting stuff than this.....or should I say even more....


Oh yes.

whew!

Long time since I last posted. Apologies. Damn internet sloooowwwww......


I read in the papers that $13 million worth of cocaine was recently siezed in Bayonne. Imagine that!


I am not watching the presidential campaigns because they are so disturbing and depressing. To me. I am watching shows like Criminal Minds like recently if I had other lives I'd be a forensic scientist.....a coroner it's quite fascinating to me. Really all those shows. Cold Case is another. Of course Law and Order.

For comedy my favorites are Seinfield and Two and a Half Men. John Cryer is so awesome!

So what else? I AM writing new poetry and I have to memorize my own words. Certain nefarious fuckers at one time decided to try to rip off my work. On that another time. Boy was I naive at one time! But no more. I'm very excited though I've been working very hard on new material.

This week has been tumultous. Maybe it's negativity in the air....the people yesterday who were murdered (the knife weilding maniac in Times Square....one more reason not to hang around that area. And the triathlete.....I admire them for being able to do so much activity and I suppose deaths are not that common but they do occur. People don't understand why (another coroner's job?) but swimming in the Hudson...bleh. I give all my kudos to anyone who can do that!

There will be more to come.....

Marx Brothers

My mom introduced me to them....took me to see a series of films of theirs when I was a kid. Recently, I watched You Bet Your Life ......a little hard to understand them. He's influenced so many comedians and his life story, from what I found on Wikipedia don't know that that's the best source....but very interesting. Also, Rod Serling, of the Twilight Zone fascinating stuff....what he was about. I didn't know that show had political overtones....imagine if he was writing today?

been up and about

I made some progress yesterday and was able to walk with no discomfort. Only in these times do you realize the streets are slanted in a way as to cause pain if your bad leg is on the part that's elevated. So I have to go out of my way to make sure I'm on the right side of the street. Yesterday I was doing some stretching and so on...a lot actually. I must have sprained it a second time. I sat down on the bed and felt some kind of spasm or snap.....as it's not healed yet. I have to now go to a doctor as I figure it's a sprain but best to know. This does not happen without a day of drudgery and eight hours of my f***ing time dealing with insurance and bureaucracy (man, I'm a class A speller but always have trouble with that word).  Now I have to make a trip which I'm dreading, to radio shack to get a new phone. The one close to me doesn't have the one I want.


I need to stop whining. A lot is good. I was out this morning not wanting to get out of bed....but the scenery is beautiful. The river and parks in the morning.

LMFAO - sexy and you know it

  OK I wasn't going to .....but here it is. As written below......the connection to this song is I did run then.....the dead of winter. This deli I spent so much time at this winter.....cold wind and drafts and KTU on the radio constantly.......but a place where I could sit and do whatever. A lot of the Mexican workers would come there after work.....bringing endless cerveza which they shared with me often.....then this African guy a real weirdo. Then this other person ...who......oh .......I made a few friends around here as well as working in the area so I often see this in a good light as in money made......can't complain.

Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera

When I first heard this I thought it was the dumbest song....I didn't know it was Maroon 5....even though I like other stuff of theirs (Adam Levine is cute). But what the significance? This winter.....when I practically lived at this deli on 28th st.....many a stranded night in fucked up weather....but some good came of the dilemma that I wrote and drew....will post shortly. Living in Jersey City can equal "living" on subways and coffee shops. And this tune played constantly.....pretty cool words now that I know them. This song and what....LMFAO "I'm Sexy and I Know It." A particular one with that....I met these awesome punk kids from Milwaukee....they had the accent and everything. They were....in transition between apartments (not that I know what that's like) the girl said...."We don't....live anywhere....." but they weren't down and out and pathetic; the opposite. They were always on the move......from state to state.  Well, to each their thing. They had about 20 suitcases between them. They were vibrant and full of life. They were talking about that LMFAO song...."this is so dumb...." so my thoughts hearing this stuff goes to them. Haven't seen them since.

Injuries suck

I must have suffered a.....I know not what yet. Suddenly....I felt my knee pop and could ....I could move it but not run without that happening. I cried out in frustration and fear more than pain. For 24 hours I've barely been able to bend without searing, burning sensations. I have to do like a plie just to walk, looks like I'm trying not to pee my pants in the street. Then wincing and moaning. It's gotten better. I figured I sprained it.....I have to make an appointment to get it looked at. I've been through this in the past.....hours of waiting, then x rays, to be told I sprained it, here's two Advils, a bandage, move it around to reduce swelling and inflammation. You who can bend your knees and straighten them easily you are f***ing lucky! Don't take anything for granted I know now.

Republican presidents....music art flourishes? more to discuss 1980s

I love the pink hair

God I love it. I love it. I miss that.

Music but not the fashion

ugh......acid wash  thumbs down

Adventures Of Stevie V. - Dirty Cash 1990s....Republican Prez....music's better? contd

  

Conservative presidents = better music?

a la 1990 thereabouts......let's not forget lalapadoozas

Saturday Night Fever (John Travolta) - You should be dancing

   I know again I apologize for my absence.....I've been holed up not too unhappily in Jersey. It's lovely to have trees, a huge old cemetary, crickets at the train station and something of a back yard.......

Anyway, yes I'm working on new creative material. Among these things a book. 

But I've seen this film an uncountable number of times and it's one of those things you don't get tired of. This has to  be one of the greatest achievements in film really.....just genius from the direction (John Badham) dancing of course and music.....I saw the documentary on this film it's SO fascinating. John Travolta slaved for months preparing for this....he lost weight (dancing like that you'd have to) and some of these moves make me laugh....guess maybe that's intentional?

Romeo - Basement Jaxx

  Hey sorry to be MIA I've been holed up in Jersey Town with limited internet.....soon to change! I love this video....I have been going to Curry in a Hurry for over a decade and they always have the Bollywood music videos going....obviously this is a spinoff of that.....

Science

I was thinking a lot on this subject...have been for a time now.....science vs. spirituality and art and that they're not opposed to each other. I have a conviction that they're not......though; science certainly blew the lid off many religious themes like creation. Oops, the universe is older than 7,000 years. The world was not created in seven days. However.....in these themes is a pattern anyone, at least one of seven, thank you very much, which is my number, as my birthday is July (the seventh month) 25, which adds up to seven. The autobiography of Malcolm X also stresses this number. More on that later. An amazing book. So.....there's a contradiction.....a grey area that's neither here nor there. Some is right some is not. I personally don't follow the creation story because I see it as being derived from older religions and their stories......same as the Noah's ark is similar enough to the Gilgamesh story.....

Science is based on the facts, hard science. Well and good. On some very personal topics which I'm reluctant to write about here.....there's a misperception that one has to believe in them. I'm basing this on some youtube videos by Venus Satanas. But experience with something, seeing, feeling, knowing.....is not believing in it. Something happened and that's factual, it's not something you dreamed up.......belief to me is.....you read about or hear about something, you like the way it sounds, so you decide to live your life as if it's real, without it being proven to you. Belief can be a wonderful thing and not anything to shun.....as your imagination and emotions take over and create a brilliant exuberant experience.....but I can't use that as a foundation for something. ANYWAY......science has, from the beginning, been twisted to justify oppressive systems in society. Namely sexism and racism. Evolutionary psychology.....there's good and bad in everything....but in the worst scenarios what was somebody's generalization and personal opinion of how or why something happened is misinterpreted as fact, this in popular media and often in school. Being in a school library....seeing the things they're studying.....we can't say there hasn't been some progress.

Believe it or not, this is an excerpt from a textbook that was taught to college girls in the 1950s....this was presented as fact, dare I say science? Well, sociology. Again....a nebulous area.

Excerpted from The Feminine Mystique....originally a book called Marriage for Moderns. This was taught in COLLEGE.

  The sexes are complementary. It is the works of my watch that move the hands to enable me to tell time......Together they form a functioning unit. 

It goes on in this vein......clearly a person's opinion presented as hard unquestionable truth. Imagine going to school, a prestigious one like Smith or Barnard, paying the tuition, and this being taught. But wait, it gets better. 

To talk about what would happen  if tradition and the mores were radically changed or what may come about by the year 2000 may be interesting mental gymnastics, but it does not help the young people of today to adjust to the inevitables of life or raise their marriages to a higher plane of satisfaction. 

 Well, it's 2012 and in many ways the mores have been radically changed. Ironically, adjusting to the inevitables of life didn't prepare them for what became more than "interesting mental gymnastics" .....

There's more.

For the first time in history, American young women in great numbers are being faced with these questions: shall I voluntarily prepare myself for a lifelong, celibate career? Or shall I prepare myself for a temporary vocation.....

Can you imagine this? Going to school and this is your curriculum......TFM said this was taught for twenty years, probably more than that....in COLLEGE.  I know I'm going on a rant...another....but there are people who want to go BACK to this.

 

Falco - Rock Me Amadeus

   Austrian hip hop ca 1984....didn't know it existed? From what I can decipher....the opening line is "he was a punk and he lived in the big city" "he was Viennese, was Vienna" ......the past meets the then present.....Falco is an icon in Austria ....he passed away a few years ago.

The opening line of the film, based on the play, is "Mozart, I killed you I confess....." I was really into this film (based on the play by Peter Shaffer, which I also saw)  ....Elizabeth Berrige was pretty miscast and got quite a lot of criticism....she was cute but not very believable as an 18th century Viennese (not Vietnamese....uh! almost said that) woman. Tom Hulce was very cute guess I'm not the only one who thinks so from the YouTube comments!

clothes washed

I ran for an hour...came back and did a ton of laundry. it's tedious but purifying.....had to wash off all the confusion of the past few days.

tried so hard

I tried so hard to suppress it. But it couldn't be......something, something happened. As much as I'd try to forget.....forget it would creep back into my thoughts. He would. What he thought, or knew.....he seemed to know more than he was telling me.

This happened at ......just a few blocks away, same time, Obama was giving a speech to Barnard. That would solidify the events in my mind......the meaning of this? If there are no coincidences.....

vampires?

He had fangs....real fangs! Are those implants? I asked....no....they were real; he was born with them. And green eyes. Is that .....

for my own mistakes I'm sorry

really.......oh.........

I accept responsibility. 

But by banishing what was hurting me in so many ways.....the horizon is brighter and clearer....the better for me to see and correct it all. Freedom! It's no small thing.

to say worse

if you have to go to these lengths  to keep a man who has told you repeatedly it's over, for two, three years...what has it been? You are truly pathetic and desperate!

will write more later when I have time

of the many awful sites I saw on my way up here....what's happened to this city?......was her name . any deviation or anything derived. it was that in conjunction with construction sites with ugly scaffolding, ladders being taped off, stuff falling off buildings (a danger to everyone in the area) ugh a horror, through and through! She's gone and ties are being severed everywhere......it's her fault alone. She's an obsessive, evil and hate-filled maniac and it shows as her cover blows apart, finally. To those who know, you know whom I am speaking of, and soon the world will know as well.Or rather, will they forget? I'd say to those who are her friends, I can only suggest you find better company. Don't give your attention, money or kudos to those whose lives and motivations center around causing innocent people harm in order to aggrandize themselves......simply earning credit where it isn't due. Give instead to those who are making a heartfelt contribution to the world creatively. Fakes, thieves and emotional vampires (not meant an any way complimentary) should be left on the sidelines, rightly, where they can't cause any more damage than they have.

Naked Juice

This is coming across as a plug....I don't mean it to be. But I'm turning to these they're awesome.....full of vitamins B and C....if your life is super active like mine....I do NOT advocate fasting with only these though as some are doing. That's just insanity!

cat adopts rabbit

precious!

on the up side

That which hurt me so devastatingly in the past few years is GONE! I'm free now!

First trip anywhere in ages...to the midwest and life and .....so much is brilliant and lit up and in front of me. And it's ......what words? Freedom!

OK, on to better things

I apologize for being so grim, but I was forced to face this ugly issue that will soon, thank god, fall into the wasteland and decay and be gone. This person is getting hit hard and nasty, but she only is getting what she did to others. Sorry, but it's deserved. This is someone who out of resentment of me and obsession did everything she could to interfere in my life, my relationships and art and attacked me (not to my face, the coward) behind my back assuming I'd never know. Well, you will never do anything to me that I will not find out about. This is someone who entitled herself to a special place in the world that no one else is allowed to be in. Me being among those she put me (wrongly) with, some other ?????, I somehow am not entitled to own my own work, my own money, my own fame, my own life.....my home. It all belongs to her, so she thinks. Obviously, those ideas are false she does not, never has and never will have any right to anything I produce or anything in my life. She thinks the world will never catch up with her. Again, she's wrong. But she's the one who has to look in the mirror (and I shudder to think what a scary experience that is) and face herself alone.......and then the rest. Sad to watch, but she had it coming.

Sometimes a person has everything in this world going for them but they still take a tumble down and you wonder why.....who knows only I can think maybe there are other things at work (like the fact that you suck, among other things).

and

may I never see that wretched, horrifying name or face ever again.

well

unfortunately there are those who are resentful and envious of me and my work and my love life. jealousy combined with mental illness and an evil persona that sadly seems to know no limits. you can never defend your actions. you who came between me and my beloved, me and my art, me and my family.....it hurts to write this but the world needs to know that you're an evil being. people need to get out of their denial. because they are the equivalent of the parent who denies there's sexual abuse happening, or blame the child victim. You're no better.......so change already, while you can redeem yourself.

Colombia

You seem like such an awesome place can't wait to get my passport back and visit you!

novena

I love these candles you find in Latin bodegas you find mostly in Brooklyn.....but there's one in Jersey City that I found, since I moved there.....there's something very poetic and moving in them.

New art work by Laura Saiter

"I'll be a girl 

backstage at your show

velvet ropes and guitars 

cause you're more rock star

between the sets 

eyeliner and cigarettes

shadow is burnt 

yellow dance and we turn 

my lashes are dry 

purple teardrops I cry 

it don't have a price .....

I'm your biggest fan 
I'll follow you until you love me
papa paparazzi....."

as sung by Lady Gaga 

words not mine.....



Well this is what you can do with some markers, glitter nail polish, white drawing paper gotten from Duane Reade and the 99cent (can't find that stupid sign argh!) store.....I love it. The one on the bottom is much better as an original....it shines......

AMADEUS part 1

chastity....small price to pay for fame!

RED GLITTER BROWS ARE FUN!

After a really rough morning and week that nearly shattered me (thank you to all who have been supportive of me during the ongoing issues with some people--really I don't act grateful but I am absolutely) ....this was a great comic relief. In the UK people are more willing to get crazy and daring with fashion and I love that!

My marker art

I did this this AM on the train! Only thing is, the colors are far more intense in my original.....

AMADEUS Part 3

    I know another You tube clip.....but I forgot how much I LOVE this film!

Fall, a few years ago. Before a performance. I admit, heavily photoshopped! I just looked a little wan, so added lots of saturation. But hell, it looks great.

I was meditating, I suppose you could say, on the Greek sun god Apollo whom I have a particular obsession with....hence the the theme of orange.......not sure, still, exactly what an invocation is..................?   .man not to toot my own horn but I love it! I spent so much energy and almost all my money putting this project (this is only part) together............after all that hard work, and this was WORK........this is a reminder why I go through all that. 

Riverdance Show 1 - Jean Butler, Colin Dunne and María Pagés

This isn't the one I saw.....but the same show, I think, a few years later. My friend was sweet to take me.

Barry Lyndon - Irish Jig

  Forgive, please, my MIA status. I was rather sick from this awful weather. 

This film....I grew up watching....apparently there's a legal issue with posting the youtube clip.....or what have you, so here's a picture......



every time it was revived anywhere I was taken to see it. But this scene, the dance, is so beautiful guess it never really hit me til now. My fantasy ......before anyone does it first....but if they do, I wrote about it here so that's proof it's my idea.....is to perform Irish-American folk dances. Or in that style. Here in America "clogging" became a popular dance back in the early days: it combined Irish, English and African dance traditions. I need the dress, a guy who can dance this way, and the pissed off boyfriend in the background.....  Thinking about it, though, I am ...........dancing like this.....I couldn't stop laughing........ It would be very bizarre......and embarrassing. Picturing this....I .......in the book Angela's Ashes the main character talks about being taken to dance lessons..... It's the same thing with waltzing: I try picturing doing that with any of the men I dated......I can't......


I saw Riverdance live once.....it was wonderful of this person to take me. But somehow I wasn't that moved. Maybe it was the music which seemed repetitive to me. It was beautiful......but felt like the same over and over. Lately, though, it has grown on me little by little. In this one video I'm watching I have to say the guy is awesome.



BTW I HATE this new layout of blogger design....it's too damn hard to navigate back and forth.....this will explain some of the jerkiness as I try to figure this out. 

Harlot 2006

OK I promise more besides youtube links but also Felix da Housecat has such mad wicked kick ass videos here's another

Eurythmics - Love Is A Stranger

  There are so many levels of genius to this video I wish I knew who directed......everything syncs. It makes so many statements about women, feminism, gender, class.......plus the visuals and editing......yes I love this!

Jody Watley - Looking For A New Love

I cannot praise this video enough or Jody Watley she is a goddess here! 80s club culture.....

another woman popping her gum behind me

yes it's ok I am a loving, gentle and patient person....