you know, to be a good soldier as well

 this is hilarious I love it.......





http://aishamusic.blogspot.com/2011/11/since-madonna-has-decided-to-rip-off.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FiJHH+%28Aisha+Music%29







I have said I do not believe in "karma" but hey the flipside is don't underestimate anyone either. You're an asshole to too many people eventually you'll piss off the wrong ones. That's what happens when you go through life thinking .....well anyway.......


I have a lot to say on like subject but don't have time for it now. I do, however, have legitimate complaints. 

another revision sky dancer

love and it's real

 it's real
so many yellows!

so is all this light

all this light so much of it

this light this one oh only this one




you, me and her
did it slip right by me?


this one is pink
this one's for friendship




theirs and not his
theirs and never his
all of theirs and never his



something in here, wired in me
white in me
all that was peachy pink


and there could never be too many

my face aches 

all of me is raw and heavythe screen is red, black and red
it's coming at you really at them
remember it's not real
black ants seem to multiply faster than birds
if there's one there are a million of them
face was so tender so was he
it was up to you to protect him
you did the right thing
they never told you
no one will tell you but you know

the cat was orange he scratched my arms
in a tree, the snow piercing the part of your legs that were bare
in a playground covered in snow ice
nothing can live here, yet it does
you are here, you and her
the car is not warm
you move your toes
your mother and her husband are out
you and your step sister her in plaid
we will freeze, but we don't

now you and the one who looks like him
are in some kind of garage
what are you doing?


you're eighteen your hair is red
the night is black
the doors are silent
you were waiting for someone

what are these eyes

what is this face

why are they glowing

yes it was hot hot in there

why are they glowing

let me travel to him him to me

promising safety

please fix the road for me

and it's getting dark

the pills were blue

the snow was white

then his text

a light! another then another

sometime, sometime

legs scraped raw again

somehow I got back

oh a storm quieted down
this thing that lives in my head

these lights are bright in the snow
it all stands out
the presents under the tree [?????]

is this coming day, now it's night

Persephone dragged down to hell 

in the snow marking it

presents sit in the living room

lights go out and candle flames move like water

this night

there's no one around

my cat comes in from outside

the snow makes a white mountain

this is the god of winter

at your fingertips
a spark of deadly freeze

white and holy r

I'm stirring white paste in a barrel

the bag is pink

the white is snow

it has a peachy smell

it's a pink band aid

there's a devil doll outside

in a Santaria shop
he bobs gently and grins

you were warned
you were curious you know

they're marching in green

which one was stolen

three syllables

three bells

this one, the blue forms clouds, blueberries?

a blue boy on the wall

I feel rawness and blisters every time I breathe in

aching, aching my body

in from the cold

a ring, one for every kind of day

I went over this recently and it needed a lot of work.....not publishing the final version just yet but here's a MUCH more refined version the last few were very rough ******************LMSaiter












8 am, 7 am which hour was it
plastic is cheap barely containing
somewhere it spilled
overspilled




a car, too many
crossing the street

it was winter this time


other earrings, those ones gold
the others diamond
this that's happening
I can't feel my mind
I've stepped outside myself
someone grabs my wrist someone grabs me
being naked being desired feeling the buzz

fell asleep

had strange dreams of an old friend and her husband visiting........then a strange, ghostly couple in a library, and that I went into another friend's place (who lives uptown) he had given me the keys for.....then he came in.

got Devil and Lovers

relationship reading. Devil is "our baser desires" or more like "sins of the flesh." That it certainly is!

Kali Ma

I'm giving a plug to this awesome website devaintart a lot of modern depictions of mythical figures, gods and goddesses I love this kind of stuff.....this is Kali Ma.....


http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&global=1&q=kali+ma#/d36og3o

Now I know

why people who are complete strangers to me give me the looks they do, like they know something about me or who I am. I'm really horrified. I don't know HOW pictures of me (with my face, not that I'm ashamed of it; you know, I think I'm attractive, but still.....) got on adult/hooker/ ect sites, or that I'm a sub, or worse.............or my name. Phone number. Someone clearly wanted to harass me, and they succeeded.They......people who I don't know or was never with made up stories about me; you know, anyone can say anything about anyone. It's like bathroom graffiti just one the web.

So. Clarity. This is not my doing. What else can I say? Get to know me, know who I really am.

And I don't work as a sub. And on and on. 

I couldn't

keep this in my head forever. I didn't even start pole dancing til I was in my thirties, but ......it can be done; you have to work at it...... So I did. My arms, legs would be bruised the next day.....I would just want to sleep.....so much and it was terribly hard work but I just kept going; why? Why did I put myself through this. I didn't have to. No one told me to. But I did. I kept writing too.....I went in life in art to hell and heaven and all over, low and high. For it---- to happen this way with so much ugly drama; of course I didn't want that. I put myself through all that cause I believed in it. There was not much conflict; the way there was with other things.
I was, younger, very trusting where I should have listened to my instincts and not been. But I couldn't imagine someone......that they would do that; it was preposterous. And ....for so long......and get away with it. I didn't know but I had.....I could sense something was way, way off, something was really wrong. I just had this chronic bad feeling; but now I know and that's gone. I'm very relieved.....

been a while but not neglecting.....

I'm re-writing and memorizing my stuff preparing to perform it......and am ...........it's all so intense. I keep wanting to go down to OWS I think I'll go there and dance that's the best thing! There is more to come.....

sky dancer

love and it's real
love and it's real
so many yellows!
the yellows are bright
so is all this light
all this light so much of it
this light this one oh only this one


you, me and her
you, me and her
did it slip right by me?
this one's Jasmine
this one is pink
this one had softer petals than this one

there is a cross on the screen
theirs and not his
theirs and never his
all of theirs and never his

there's a monster on the screen
his it's all his
he reads your emails
it looks like him but it isn't
somewhere nearby he's sleeping
you're just a little east by a sooty river

and how your face aches
your legs and arms
all of you is raw and heavy
the screen is red, black and red
it's coming at you really at them
remember it's not real
black ants seem to multiply faster than birds
if there's one there are a million of them
face was so tender so was he
it was up to you to protect him
you did the right thing
they never told you
no one will tell you but you know

the cat was orange he scratched my arms
in a tree, the snow piercing the part of your legs that were bare
in a playground covered in snow ice
nothing can live here, yet it does
you are here, you and her
the car is not warm
you move your toes
your mother and her husband are out
you and your step sister her in plaid
we will freeze, but we don't

now you and the one who looks like him
are in some kind of garage
what are you doing?


you're eighteen your hair is red
the night is black
the doors are silent
you were waiting for someone

what are these eyes
what is this face
why are they glowing
yes it was hot hot in there
why are they glowing
let me travel to him him to me
promising safety
please fix the road for me
and it's getting dark
the pills were blue
the snow was white

presents were green
others red
then his text
a light! another then another
it can be so cold
so cold at night

sometime, sometime
legs scraped raw again
somehow I got back
thinking I was free
I was deceived

but for that moment the night was blanketed in white
red, blue and green lights gently hung around the old red brick buildings
so cold, but a sign of warmth
that you're home
no longer in a desert

the day to celebrate Christ
is this coming day, now it's night
and it's very silent only your feet make noise
in the snow marking it
presents sit in the living room
in a church your family stands next to you
lights go out and candle flames move like water
and it's quiet
she calls you a bitch
that morning the tsunami hits
you don't feel it here, or do you?
so thankful for the quiet this night
no one around
my cat comes in from outside
the snow makes a white mountain
this is the god of winter
an ice pick dosed in spearmint
your fingertips are a spark of deadly freeze
where no light comes
as the mercury ball drops

I'm not OK
I'm a grotesque monster of a wreck
I've been that
that thing think it's a piece of cheap pulp
but that thing is real
it's in me?

your emails have been read
somewhere someone is dancing
somewhere, the FARCs are getting rich
somewhere there's a white paste is stirred in a barrel
but here you're in a makeshift mall
step into a bathroom
white and holy r
the bag is pink
the white is snow
it has a peachy smell
it's a pink band aid
there's a devil doll outside
in a Santaria shop
he bobs gently and grins

you were warned
you were curious you know

somewhere people are marching in green, green leaves so sharp they cut
insects big as your hand
which one was stolen
three syllables
three bells
this one, the blue forms clouds, blueberries?
a blue boy on the wall

my nose hurts
aching, aching my body
and one came in from the cold
the air sucked out of the room
like in the barrel of a shotgun
or a piercing
a ring, one for every kind of day


in your bag a bottle breaks
the same spot, someone is hit by a car
the skull dances at night
smell of shoes off in a distance
coming for you
the rebels are coming for you

in your bag a bottle breaks
the same spot, someone is hit by a car
the skull dances at night
smell of shoes off in a distance
coming for you
the rebels are coming for you

Saint Seiya Aphrodite    

By Fayeuh


This artist is a French female. love this stuff on deviantart!

Blair the liar, murderer and crook

Tony Blair is an absolute disgrace to humanity. I wonder how his parents feel having given birth to such an awful human being. He is a professional liar, thief and a fraud from head to toe. He is a disaster in the world. He is an ignorant at best at worst someone with absolutely no conscience and that is not someone to put in a position of leadership. I am sure he has taken gifts of some kind. I see through you though, and so does the public now. You have no defense for your actions.

How could anybody vote for him? I don't understand it. It defies all logic. That too is inexcusable. 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article718100.ece


He belongs in prison. But, wait a minute, doesn't everyone think this?

I went back and forth on whether to publish this. Too many people are still praising this man when they shouldn't....so many articles I find are at best mish mashy. He .....needs to be somewhere where he can't hurt anyone. Why WHY are people like him out in the world? That explains many things.......

but

speaking of stealing some shithead just took my phone from the library.....GGGGGRRRRRRHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




so those who wish to talk to me can email or msg for now.......


all your emotional support to get my stuff back are not necessary but will appreciated; cause I need this, and it wasn't theirs to take.  ) thanks

copyrights

sorry if I violated any laws or anyone's work wasn't intended.....as for art  ......but I never tried to pass it off as my own. I respect fully people's ownership of their work. please contact me if I did something wrong tried to be careful......truly)

protests, arrests

http://www.edrants.com/occupy-wall-street-slutwalk-nyc/

this and the news of 700 arrested.....700! How many were at the RNC? But the truth is in one's actions. I wonder why the police are so eager to protect these corporate criminals, ok...actually that is not my opinion that is what they are. How long will they keep getting away with what they're doing? As long as the police are on their side, it'll be a long time. Those who speak out will be jailed instead.


All the news of these protests are tugging at my heart and bringing me back to my cheering days. More I'll say on this at a later date. I miss all that. (

3 A M Eternal Lyrics

3 A M Eternal Lyrics: Klf 3 A M Eternal lyrics . These 3 A M Eternal lyrics are performed by Klf Get the music video and song lyrics here. This is Radio Freedom KLF! unh huh, unh huh, unh huh, unh huh KLF is gonna rock you are you ready (unh huh, unh huh) [ANCIENTS OF MU MU]

Focusing Your POWER - How to be Happy Part 2

This is even funnier than the one I posted on FB.....this is not an attack on anyone's spiritual way I'm agnostic not religious....but nonetheless these are words of wisdom. My friend called him a "devil worshipping life coach" lol

dreams

That there was a baby doll representing me....who.....as I looked under the surface, was full of decomposing flesh. I dream a lot about corpses. And graveyards.

Today that I was writing songs and looking at other stuff of mine, in a music room 

cults brainwashing and Hollywood

I've avoided going here for a long time.....but come on. Look at his eyes, his face. That's the spaced out expression cult victims get.........brainwashing? People are encouraged to surrender everything they have for the religion, the organization......I mean materially. All their savings to these  insane monsters. Just being candid and honest.

Cirrus Boomerang

I found this just now......never heard the extended version .....super exquisite

getting ready to perform

at st Marks ......no make up, barely a costume, no panties everyone!

Joke. Really. I wore undies......................

another gothic pic

love this one......artist is Hotoke I believe, Brazilian

la starla=me!

people have been on top of me all day long. I just wanted to watch some videos. I must be incredibly hot.....seriously I feel better I just rolled out of bed in my ridiculous sweat pants/jammies but this is happening so something must be right! I was dancing on the pole (not stripping ) it is SO hard but fabulous....after the fact. I was sore everywhere in a good way.....seriously though, I've been crashed into non stop it seems. Not to mention trying to sleep with my phone buzzing constantly.....

Keeping up Appearances S01E02P01

My mother loves this show why I decided to find this on YouTube I'm not really sure except that it came to mind today.....

TREND: Jean Pierre Braganza - Elevated cat eyes

I promise more creative writing to come I've been doing a lot (of writing, handwritten) and it's worn me out....so all I can wrap my brain around now is makeup.....I have to type it out. I've been rehearsing my dance/poem piece getting ready to perform at Under St. Marks....theme tonight is "chaos." Well for me that's everything until I organize it like I had to do today.....anyway, for this video   I watched this and actually earlier today I did my eyes a little like this they .....it was tricky; at first but after ......you have to blend it really well.  Someone recently asked me some interesting questions; if I write free verse or meter? Well I always write free to start out and it takes on its own form the more I work on it. This color (which I just noticed matches my dress!) looks beautiful with her eyes.

I am SO embarrassed......

O

writing from three months ago

I am a different person than I was even then....looking at some of the stuff I wrote ....ahh! I tend to scribble stuff....but I really have changed. I am all the time.

written before

loneliness is profound but so is the value of those who step into that lonely seemingly endless empty space between two people.

I mean I wrote this

OK. I decided to separate this paragraph because it's mixed up with what's below; though the theme is still death. Two different ways. It's a dark day; don't want to think about it it's a horrible and morbid topic. Obviously. I understand the need to commemorate. I myself don't want to participate; I need to step away from this. For my own reasons. I can only say my heart goes out to all the victims and of course it never should have happened. My point is, perhaps it's this day combined with the start of the waning moon (I can hear it now; pagan! Wiccan!) plus a rather unpleasant incident this morning that had me thinking on this stuff. I mean what I wrote about below.

Vampire Costume make-up tutorial

But anyhow......fall's approaching and Halloween so I woke up this AM thinking about Gothic figures such as vampires and the "dark" gods and goddesses............this video I think is actually very funny.

Hecate aka Hekat aka Ekat

A host of other names. Cthonia I think is the word. She's among my favorite of the ancient goddesses and I wish I knew who the artist was who did this picture. This is gorgeous and I am pleased that searching for pictures of her there is a TON of stuff out there. Also inspiration for how to do my own make up ......for certain occasions. I love dark art. This painting in particular really stood  out. Hekate is the ancient Greek goddess of the crossroads, which particularly fascinate me.

http://news.yahoo.com/lawmakers-sign-cracks-decorum-obama-job-speech-023436102.html

UGh! Every time I turn on the news it's retardedness like this.

crisis .....solved

somehow my email and this blog disappeared. fortunately I got it back. you just never know when shit's going to happen. lesson learned.....

Kardashians and their bogus credit card

http://www.nyconthecheap.com/2010/12/consumer-beware-kim-karsashian-credit-card-is-a-rip-off-and-scam/

someone beat me to it on dragging the dirt on these people. I have a problem with a) privileged children I do.......I grew up with them so I guess it's, well, you know and b) I can't stand waste and these people are exactly that in every sense of the word......I am being harsh here but cruel to be kind. There is so much more to do with one's limited time on earth. And so many valuable ones to be saved, those who absolutely need and deserve it. And resources. Please take them off the air. Ok. I am on a holy mission to get them off. The television.

God bless the messengers. Burn bitches!

dance audition coming up

for a rap video....hmm. just cause why not.....this'll be interesting

how to fry your clothes dry

I went to the gym, forgot my headphones, ran outside. Excuse me, my headphones broke. I got back in there after a torturous run across town, on the west side highway (very pretty though, love riverside drive) very wet healthy in a sticky sweaty way. Got in the shower, had to wash my clothes as I had to straight to an event and didn't want to show up with smelly clothes and shoes. Washed them out in the shower. I didn't have access to a washer/dryer didn't want to leave them in the locker like that ect. so that was my only option. They still needed to dry......so......as I didn't have 12 hours to wait for that to happen naturally, I laid my pants on the sauna and the water fizzed up and out. The other side. Then my socks. You have to be very careful when doing this and attentive. Anyway, now they're not 100 percent dry but more than they would have been. And lighter. It gets to be grueling carrying wet clothes around. I speak from many years of experience dealing with this......

books

Ive been reading so much online as well as stuff I'm given, or else new Olive Tree editions, that I haven't read any actual books. But here's my upcoming list of stuff:


Othello, by Shakespeare............have read this before and was getting back into it. I think it inspired some intense dreams. The part of Iago fascinates me I'd love to play that.


The Help...........Yes I want to read this.


Another site with some literature of this genre or I guess related....Southern African American spirituality....A-Mazing

.http://www.southern-spirits.com/index.html  


Emma by Jane Austen...............when I visited my mom she always had yet another version of this film so I've gotten around to wanting to read the actual book. Read Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park (I recommend) and Persuasion.


more on this later


I also found this; well the author read from it at an event at Under St. Marks....I have to say; well I will get more into this. Awesome. Fabulous. Code? I did try to read some Sartre got completely confused....Simone de Beauvoir I have read. Blaise St. Mary? Catholic? I promise to write more on this.....Some passages sound Biblically inspired.....



OK. I think this is the right link:  


http://sites.google.com/site/thefallofrainbowheights/

more drama stuff

getting this all posted delays apologies.....but here goes:

I wrote this wow a year ago! Handwritten, on one of my little gadget notebooks I got from Sustainable NYC very nice little hippie store on Ave A. Biodegradable paper. Hand crafted. This was sitting in storage I pulled it out....this only the beginning.


8/29/10


when you said
when you said
that death was mine
you the incurable
bastards
they didn't couldn't




this was inspired by Anne Sexton was reading a lot of her then .....

Emotional

I'm a Leo naturally a drama queen. The more I read and write in my little notebooks as per advised very brilliantly by VS the more I see my own well you know......that's the stuff of my new book.....) Screenplay?

The Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow

I wanted to write more about yoga I took a class the day before the storm and it tore me apart in so many ways. Then I was put back together. This video has....how do I describe? Moments of the kind of darker or what have you type stuff.....so much of what you see on yoga now has this sugar sweetness to it but for me it brings out so many .....well things that are not sweet. I am influenced by some articles I read though I was told they are plagiarized from another writer. I really would like to know who the original writer is....this stuff is brilliant. Will ...let's see....here they are. The stories. 

-

BTW you don't have to be a satanist to understand the ideas in the article.....though it's written from their perspective. I do not necessarily agree with all the views of the author, whoever it is. I absolutely do not endorse the other ideas presented on that particular web site. It's been shown to be a fraud, a front for something far more sinister I'd rather not go into.....but anyhow. The material I highlighted is......I really want to find out who the real author is. It's so dead on.

I am

fair delicate and sensitive everywhere. Ultra sensitive to noise, temperature......certain foods. Always craving sugar. Slow metabolism. Need lots of sleep. Eyelashes are super thing tangle easily therefore putting on mascara is difficult and time consuming because it takes a lot of effort to make it even. They are extremely fine. I tried false eyelashes but they looked kind of bizarre on me. Will continue.

A couple months ago I was at Sephora by Union Square and tried to recreate an Edie Sedgwick look I saw an online video about, pixiewoo is her name. I ended up looking like a freak, oh goodness. My skin and eyes are so fair the contrast was really stark. Edie had brown eyes and mine are blue......light......that may be part of it. Eyebrows super dark or prominent just don't look right on me. It was too much. I looked like a deranged Boy George....not very Edie or Factory or 60s like I was going for. I love doing retro looks just cause I'm dramatic a performer and it's thrilling for me.....I will keep at this til it's perfected......

rite aid

ever since I started going to the one on 20th street to pick up my prescription, I became obsessed with taking my blood pressure at the machine there. It always goes down after I've gone running. Substantially. 

Sparks - I Predict

burlesque....boylesque?

almost forgot......writing

apologies to those who've been waiting for new writing......I've been performing this one quite a lot with very good response. Just haven't posted.....it's been in one of my notebooks handwritten but here it is......:

In a dark room a message 

in a dark room a message 

eyes hers mine does she know? 

does she know? 

who I am a message she knows who I am 

all  is dirty pretty 

something, there is something 

all is dirty pretty 

there is something 

what's past forgotten, quickly forgotten 

that last was red 

like the blood on my hand 

last red like the blood on my hand 

listen to myself, my own breathing 

something opens up in me 

did you know? 

something that could be a tomb and she's not at rest 

did you know? 

push my way above dirt 

disciple of this lips that are red 

like that on my hand my heart beating lighter and faster 

eyes connected? that instant 

she looks at you familiarly 

she knows who you are

[[Make Me Over]] Midnight Fantasy: Makeup Tutorial

This too a little less bizarre.....

Fantasy / Costume make-up tutorial

God this is genius!
Pixiwoo's the greatest

ok. another topic

so the Big Storm  in Tribeca turned out to be rain.....lots. I know there are those who had it far worse and I shouldn't be whining.....except that I personally was locked indoors for a day and a half. My mom was out in the Hamptons and the power went out......but here it just rained, I didn't even see trees bend like they're supposed to during a hurricane. No flooding or damage that I could see. The air is so nice like a tropical breeze. The trees look beautiful....lush and big from the tons of water dropped on them. I walked on the west side highway, the bike path.....people with their shirts off (guys) on bikes, sunbathing. Personally, I don't get sunbathing; I tried napping once in the park, on the grass, and got so much unwanted attention I had to leave. Guess I don't have to get naked to get that!   But indoors I watched a movie, listened to 1010wins and drank Rioja......plus lots of reading and writing. And then slept. Now it's sunny out and life is on......here's a quote from Henry Miller.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be," said the good Shakespeare, voicing a wish fulfillment out of his utopian dream life. For men on earth, borrowing and lending is not only essential but should be increased to outlandish proportions. 

why no news of this in the US?

http://experienciasanimais.blogspot.com/2007/05/china-sentences-ex-head-of-fda-to-death.html

I am disgusted. FDA you are liars. ADL you are liars. I will continue to publicly call you liars because that's what you are, and worse.

I am not a criminal, not a terrorist, have no criminal record, have broken no laws.......but that is what I was wrongly called by our corrupt and sick police and law enforcement agency in the US, ditto the military. I've never been other than a performing artist. We've been plagiarized and illegally spied on and wiretapped.

The tragedy of Charla Nash and Travis the chimp

A chimp is NOT a domestic animal, not a pet, not an actor. They belong in the jungle with their own and nowhere else. It's a horrible thing indeed that an innocent person was attacked in this way. It should have been his owner. There's no excuse for what they did and they belong in prison for it.....but too late now. Anyway.Yes I'm being hard but for a reason. How could this have been allowed to happen?

Ali G FBI interview

oh god this is one of the funniest yet....

LSD Testing (British Troops)

Bad Trips?

how to tell if you're (or you and you are) schizophrenic

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article482219.ece

THis is about Phiona Davis, a young London fashion student who flipped and stabbed her boyfriend and great grandmother. This was back in 2004....she had been part of the Kabbalah Center. I have to say this is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read.....

guess that line in the Lady Gaga video Paparazzi "I just killed my boyfriend" isn't funny here 

X-Ray Spex - Art-I-Ficial

and this......had to add!

x ray spex - i am a poseur

after some searching, found this also

Simple Minds - I travel 1980

God what words? This is brilliant! They were like 19 or 20 around this time.....I wish I could have been 19 then. Who knows what would have happened.......oh my

intense dreams last night

actually there was murder, some kind of mansion, demons, a church, a cover up, stabbings, a screen test the script was some kind of star wars like I was thinking this is so different from theater!

it was a beautiful loft like themes of white.....I think I and some others moved in there....there was some kind of fight and I think a woman was stabbed.....then a cover up.....I knew who did it as I saw it.


Some kind of church, a demon, something.....


it was very vivid.

screen test....I really wanted this part and the audition went well

Ali G - Wales(FULL VERSION)

This is a riot .............

furthermore

the reason I didn't have my clothes is that I was harassed, this time sexually, by another person at the storage space. A man. I didn't go back to get my stuff because I didn't want to see him. I blame him for this and these people .....well I won't go into it here. I'm not taking this lightly.

Heart goes out to Indiana

I took a nap, woke late to this terrible news.

http://news.yahoo.com/photos/indiana-fair-stage-collapse-1313305052-slideshow/

I have family over there. Oh. This weekend was rough. I was caught in that freezing rain in tiny summer clothes, and unfortunately had left my shirt and warm pants, no umbrella and was running through that with only a small plastic bag to shield me from the rain, all at 5am. I stayed out at this all night cafe, what fun, huh? They were nice enough to host me.


Thought my troubles were bad enough but ok yes this is worse. I am psychic and know very well when something is about to happen.

All my empathy for the people involved in this tragedy.

Cats are not models they are cats leave them where they are! 

Speaks for itself. Sick. It may sound comic, but cats are not entertainers for our consumption we (and the idiots responsible for this) have no right to force them to do something that they don't want to or that is not in their nature. This is unacceptable. Completely. 

London Riots

London Riots


OK dammit I just typed this but accidentally deleted. What I wrote is what the author says......last night I was thinking, "Mark my words, it'll happen here." It's only a matter of time. How long can the horrors committed by some members of the human race go without any consequence? Well, they do. But for how long? None of this HAD to occur. It all could have been prevented. But because some unevolved individuals have stolen, really, exploited,  deceived in nearly unimaginable proportions there's this terrible disparity of wealth and power. But, wait, guess it's always been that way. It never had to be, but it was.......til things reach the threshold. I guess history repeats itself and people don't learn, do they?

One of the most popular videos of the past year was by the band Muse called "The Uprising" well yeah this is melodrama..........but it showed fires in the streets at night...................

incident

I had a terrible run in with some jerk wad of a security guard at a storage space I rented. The tone he took with me was very nasty and insulting.....after I PAID THEM money. I'm pissed. People like him need to find the real criminals of the world to take their aggression or whatever grievance they have out on but........telling them that will accomplish nothing, as will any interaction with them.  REALLY PISSED. After all, it's my space isn't it?

Animal Blog

http://animalconnectionblog.blogspot.com/

this is awesome check it out 

 

Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of The Rainbow Part 3.avi

Been on a PF trip this is so brilliant man.......

Felix Da Housecat - Happy Hour

Strange how this happens....found this looking for something else fucking brilliant love it

writing, old and new

From some stuff written a couple years ago.....added some new last night 

He's trying to drive me crazy 

or maybe I'm just lazy 

what is it 

what is it I want 

what is it I forgot 

mystic or could be spastic

must have forgotten it

oh lazy days 

sun's rays 

and I know I know 

it was you back then 

how do I know 

summer will come 

again again 

will come and with it the sun 

so is the room I'm in 

in pain and shaking 

I'm dizzy and jerky 

frozen fish and streets 

barbara streisand?

jokes my parents 

hippest part of detroit dream

wanting that back or 

will I freeze and dry be useless

or a fur baby? 

monkeys entertaining, people wearing them 

sleds and deer as stars stars 

like nothing I wrote 

like nothing I could say 

so close and far away 

no sword can sever 

though it nearly did 

grey street and dark 

but out comes sun and summer

that is bright too 

that lawn could be so green 

and I am so mean 

the food was rich 

I know I'm a bitch sometimes 

summer summer 

is here will last 

til the waves run back 

they come in and bring with them the sun 

he was cute cuter than me

I Can Transform Ya

Normally, rap isn't my thing. I kind of thought Chris Brown as a manufactured image....industry people putting him together. But this kind of made me look twice I don't know.....anyway......

Shakira - Rabiosa (Spanish Version) ft. El Cata

First time I ever heard or saw this video but I remember reading about Shakira working on pole dancing......pretty cool!

slept

about 12 hours blew off a bunch of people.....they are mad hopefully they'll get over it. In terms of the bigger picture, I can accomplish more when I'm not falling over with exhaustion.
But I feel like a newborn and my skin as soft......

pix from a couple summers ago

Broome St. Very rocky (and raunchy sometimes) experience there. Some great stuff and some horrible stuff all on that same block. Where Heath Ledger died. Someone else a woman was stabbed. I'm sure more happened. I did meet some very special people. There were more people to the story than just me but I won't post their pictures without permission.

facebook post

God I'm such a whiner. I'm back on FB. ()

place, decorations, dancing

 it's .......man what words? It's so brilliantly decorated, Mardi Gras style.....masks and the theme of red or maroon. There I learned to dance on a pole and oh was terrified the first time I went upside down. The trick is.....you have to have exactly the right timing. Too much, too late it becomes overdone, maudlin. Very simple. That's the tricky part.

I hate Facebook

You won't see me on there much any more. It's mean and awful. I don't need certain things flaunted in front of me.

Susan Atkins (1976) Interview-Part 1

one amazing story these girls are .....i know what people will think. but they're not the people they are depicted as in the press and media......their story is one of survival of total hell. NOT to diminish the gravity of the crimes or to not sympathize with those killed. But she and Leslie, Pat I don't know about, really didn't kill anyone. They shouldn't have been where they were for so long.....

lightheaded

by my own doing I woke up and drank 2 liters of mountain dew and couldn't resist, my sweet tooth what it is....the $1.09 special of movie-sized junior mints at Wallgreens, and then my favorite, candy corn, albeit out of season. 

some good things happened, some horrible things happened. 

So now the sugar is buzzing in my head. But boy did I miss it for 2 days. 

I woke up and started making a list. Copying drafts of other lists. These things are daunting. What do I want? What do I want to do? Me being the ADD case of the universe listed 1,000 things in about ten minutes....then AAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! Need to do this and this and this and this and this and this

I had this dream that a friend was meeting me for a party in a school auditorium. It was all grey though. I dream about my high school a lot, except that it's empty and only security guards are there.

So high on my TO DO priorities:

dancing

writing 

book? 

acting 

getting on a tv series 

costumes 

yoga blog 

therapy 

dentist

eye doctor 

apt search and find 

dance pole 

cats 

Speaking of which, I ran yesterday up to harlem. Had to go up there for something so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. Took me 45 minutes to get up to 116th st. It's so nice up there! Being up there really lifts my spirits. There's Whole Foods, which I actually like a lot. They have everything, man. Really nice oils and candles.....I do go in for all that hippie New Age stuff. They...the Starbucks was sampling this awesome like cappuccino chocolate rock candy the best whoever invented that I love you. Then I went into Sephora......I think this was after I discovered this playground which had, incidentally, a pole. I started kind of practicing on it. I did my dance exercises....why I am so stiff always I don't know. By the time I was done, my legs were shooting fatigue. My hands, fingernails....all of me was filthy. I went into Whole Foods then, used the bathroom where I washed my hands and armpits. Then I went into Sephora and put this exquisite hand scrub, like peach scented, on my hands for my nails. Painted my nails in their Mermaid color. They looked great on me! Then used some of their Murad face wash. Left. Somehow walked back to my gym where I showered. I went to my school library....put my head down for a nap and woke up several hours later........I was that tired. I had no energy to perform that night.

All because the other thing that may have killed me. But I'm still too young to die. Especially over people who don't matter, who won't in the end. So I have to dig my way out of a grave. And I did.
I remembered this dance class I took in school....the teacher, an older female, was telling the boys to get a dance belt said it would "hold them like steel."

Ali G In Da House Whole Movie (English) Part 1 HD

I know this is a bootlegged copy but if I can find the film on netflix what have you....this is so brilliant I watch this whenever I need comic relief....fucking awesome. so go out or online and get the film!

tarot

I wrote "tart" first Freudian slip? Got seven of swords reversed. Interpretations here and here

Happy Father's Day

Dad we all miss you! Love always

KLF - The Rites Of Mu

God this is genius....even if a somewhat 2001 rip off.....you don't have to be "high" to get it all but maybe meditating.....

Simple Minds - Alive And Kicking

Red hot ..... This band was and is the bestest of the the bestest...... it had been a while since I'd thought of them or listened to them but.....well....hm. One thing led to another to this again.....and well. There's more. A lot.

dreams

haven't been home in a couple days. slept at a friend's place on the ues...yorktown. this apartment is so quiet and .....man how do I describe it? almost feel like I'm on a submarine when I'm in there. wood beams on the ceiling. He has a photo of a singer named Nick Drake, who had committed suicide some time in the 60s. Swords and knives on the wall. My dad also had a sword on his, in a basement of the place he lived in in Chicago.

I had half a glass of wine and just plopped down. The dreams I was having! My God. First that I was in the Hamptons, at Madonna's make-shift house while she waits for a house. She had this kind of magical swimming pool. It was like two big rooms, in a house. Then her new one. Like white and flat. 

Then I was with my mother and sister. My sister was eating a tuna sandwich and my mother was asking her to do something she kept refusing. Someone said the Bush Administration made you this way. I started eating the tuna even though I hate that stuff, and all fish. Then I went out to get Indian food. I had a boyfriend in the dream.....(?) and was trying to communicate something....quirreling.....some kind of room with a cot in it. It just went on like that.....

audition and pix

the pictures came out great and so is the color! I was one of the last to audition, and did a monologue of the fool in king lear. these other actresses auditioning were great and all in all it was quite inspiring

I was really bummed thinking I'd missed an audition but.....turns out I didn't! great.....I'd been through the hell of mid-town Manhattan looking for a non-existent printing place that turned out wasn't open.....all this crap. But I found a place that is and auditioning tomorrow so bless....!

My Cat Sleeps Like A Human!

OK for some lighter material.....watching a film about evolution led me to cat eating with fork (that is history catstory right there) to this......!

pre nup

I read that [name withheld, female] is making a pre nup with [name withheld, male].....with a cheating clause in it. He is protesting that. Kind of makes you think.

All work and no play...(german version)

Wow I actually found this on YouTube. There was also an Italian and French version, maybe Spanish? Was du heute kannst besorgen, das verschiebe nicht auf morgen. Translates into English, what you can do today don't leave for tomorrow. Stop procrastinating. This was associated with St. Expedite as well as the European, what do I say, conquest to convert everyone to Christianity before they are killed. This must have had more resonance with European audiences than American Indian references like you see in the American. I studied a little German. Interesting how viewing this in another language makes it seem like a different film. Shelley Duvall's awesome in this.

dark moon and 13 13 13 13

that explains it . today I was in a horrific mood and it's about a billion degrees out. This is the opposite of the wintertime. Walking around in an oven outside looking for this stupid gym. I had to go back and check my map. it's 4th ave between 12th and 13th and address is 113. Do the math. 13 13 13 13. That number has huge significance in my life; if ever there was an explanation this is it! There's that Pussycat Dolls song "When I Grow Up (I wanna be famous)" and the line "be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it....." kind of chilling in a pop song. I KNOW it's not the first time that expression was used. But now I understand the meaning. You want something (or someone) SO badly then you get them....I wanted summer and now I have a roasting grill. It's really crazy out there.

Man I LOVE this

Eyes like mine

That explains me too.

Encounter last night

I was leaving a coffee shop around 27th street last night when this guy kind of waved at me on the street. I went up to him and asked if I knew him......we started talking. He was from Turkey, kind of older. Turns out, he wanted to do my hair! I do need that....especially now that summer's coming (thank God). I've had enough of the cloudy weather.....

Ugh!

http://http//vitalvotes.com/blogs/public_blog/How-Low-Will-They-Go--Pfizer-Sued-For-Using-Children-as-Guinea-Pigs-17509.aspx


 these drug and pharmaceutical companies that make themselves out to be holier than thou to the American public, who fought Obama's health care plan, we being the only industrialized nation in the world without one, well their true identities are finally leaking through.....oh but wait a minute. Guess people knew that already! all that PR couldn't save them. Still, I am so appalled at what people do, though anyone who harms innocents this way is not human. They must be the lowest life forms that have ever existed. Anyway, enough of the preaching.

year and a half ago

Summer what was it? 2009? Up and down quite a lot. At best it was creative, bright, brilliant, inspired and spirited in the most profound way. At worst, it was horrible. Up and down. Hearing the song Hotel California brought it back once just before taking that place in Bushwick I was running through the park. It started raining like mad. I thought I'd get electrocuted, seriously. And someone had that song on their radio. I don't believe in the devil as good or bad or who knows.....? Dancing in my room to that song. I danced a lot. It made me famous. It also made me the target of a lot of envy. That's just realistically how it was.

But no matter. I got a call saying a guy I was seeing was making out with another girl then I go to a wild party, end up in a hotel, partly devastated from the news I got, partly partying. A hotel on Essex St. ironically just around the corner from where he lived . The next day I saw Bhudda and the Virgin Mary then Michael Jackson died. You will become well known, was the message I got....

Rock Opera

For the Fringe Fest I figure what the hell.....even though singing is not my forte. It's called Winner Take All....bizarre I was just listening to that song.

Mac Beth Auditions!!!!

I am so psyched about this.....in Brooklyn no less. It's been a while, excepting one that I went to recently, since I've really auditioned for a play or anything. A chance to do something really.....perfect my Shakespeare. I have in mind for monologues the Fool, Iago, La Pucelle.....or something from the play?

night, monsoon, tiles on the bathroom floor

Something about that night, a year and a half ago, maybe two years. Ay where does the time go? It was raining so hard it was like literally buckets coming down. The streets flooded, impossible to go anywhere without getting soaked.....
I somehow with my umbrella navigated my way toward the train station. I was on the phone with a friend....a certain controversy we were discussing. Thing is.....well situation not so black and white. More like a cancer where you have the natural body and the invasion integrated. But....the event I went to was, how do I describe it? Really awesome. Unfortunate that there is this ugly stuff going on. But anyway, I remember that night as something really out of this world and exceptionally beautiful. I was drinking a lot of red wine til I was pretty blurred. I just remember looking down at the tiles on the bathroom floor, black and white. This old fashioned bathtub. My roommates asleep so I had to be quiet. The rain outside. It was pitch black also. It was me up at whatever hour it was, everyone else sleeping. And on the phone talking. So there was great stuff and awful as well. I remember the better looking back.

read tarot

I usually lay out the cards, then write down what came up, because sometimes it's not clear til you look at it more than once. Like reading a book, the first time you don't get everything, sometimes you have to read it over and over.

Anyway, there is a combination of good and bad. Things seem worse than they are. People aren't out to get me, except for one woman who is jealous and who is blocking my personal progress (chariot reversed). (Queen cups reversed, seven of swords reversed, wheel of fortune reversed). The same thing comes up over and over. This is a woman who is emotionally unbalanced and a scene maker. It's in the position of environment/friends so I gather it is another person in question.  Things were fucked up but I interpreted them as worse than they were. The need (four of cups) to take personal time to get it together, wait for things to settle. Situations overblown, quarrels and strife (five of wands, five of swords in another reading, plus five of coins).....cards said my environment is good (except for QCups R) and people like me.....good; or at least are sympathetic to my side.

Because this was a week where many things did not go right. First, my travel plans didn't work out. Secondly, a visit from someone went disastrously. I felt sad, defeated, and frustrated. I can see now it was a mixture of minor problems that accumulated til the threshold broke; things got out of control. And there is a woman causing most of it. A drama queen.....

removed

That wasn't meant to be published. it's how I felt at the time. I don't hate person in question. I am very upset and distraught at how things have happened. It just wasn't right. Any of it.

she said

"Recycling other people's music is not very inspiring." In a magazine somewhere. I should cut that quote out and paste it to a demo of the song she copied, with the footage of her doing it. And send it to her.

gentrification and life in nyc

http://community.nytimes.com/comments/www.nytimes.com/2011/05/22/nyregion/the-last-jam-session-at-106-rivington.html

to say Manhattan isn't what it used to be doesn't begin to go there. The kind of people in ....the lower east side and east village now.....quite frankly, the scene is evil. That is my opinion. These are the people I came to the city to get away from. They are over-privileged,annoying, ignorant and stupid. And have seemingly an endless flow of cash to blow to the four winds. They have no culture, to put it mildly. Simone de Beauvoir wrote about an atmosphere of ennui or boredom in Hollywood and places like it and it's here too. I don't like being in Tribeca, my mom's neighborhood. It was once an area of art galleries, there was a huge mural I walked past thousands of times which is now a billboard. The people inhabiting Tribeca now are these Jersey/Long Island trash Republican idiots. Hate is not a nice word. But New York is not New York. They are not good people. They are not people I want in my life in any way. That is my opinion of them.I suppose that comes across as very harsh to some people. But every day I walk past  them, their smug looks their barbaric ....what do I say? They're like retarded children set loose in a diamond shop. They are intolerant themselves. They are ignorant. They are not up to any good, most of them. Oh, believe me I can tell you stories. They are awful individuals. OK. That's what I think of them.

BUT that's what happens when you get a Republican mayor who harasses club and bar owners to the point where you can't even dance in a bar. Who closes down ....sends the police to terrorize kids having parties (the early 00s I lived through that). Raises the rents to absurd levels. Tells the police to arrest homeless people for being homeless. Pretty much. The city is safer and cleaner than it was. Not all was fabulous back in the days. But there is no culture. There is very little inspiration in the daily crowd-----these people they're like sorority/fraternity people. I have to say I do not like sororities or fraternities. Even growing up I had to deal with people who because they were born into money knowing they had this croaker's green to fall back on they thought they were entitled to any damn thing they wanted, and that I somehow owed them something. They resented me for being pretty, original and talented. Excuse me, I didn't know that was an offense. But others offended me by their relentless flaunting of their pretty much stolen, fraudulently gotten wealth when I was barely remaining alive. Guess what, many of those people are now in jail. Good riddance man, of the riff raff. But there must be far, far more.

sounds like a country song.....

I gave you so many chances
and you just took me for granted
now I'm off to see new lands
I carry the weight of the world


I'll have it no more

Current Events

Freaky; in light of recent Royal Weddings, I randomly found this work by Christina Rossetti, one of my favorite poets. 

COUSIN KATE

by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

WAS a cottage maiden

Hardened by sun and air,

Contented with my cottage mates,

Not mindful I was fair.

Why did a great lord find me out,

And praise my flaxen hair?

Why did a great lord find me out

To fill my heart with care?

 

He lured me to his palace home--

Woe's me for joy thereof--

To lead a shameless shameful life,

His plaything and his love.

He wore me like a silken knot,

He changed me like a glove;

So now I moan, an unclean thing,

Who might have been a dove.

 

O Lady Kate, my cousin Kate,

You grew more fair than I:

He saw you at your father's gate,

Chose you, and cast me by.

He watched your steps along the lane,

Your work among the rye;

He lifted you from mean estate

To sit with him on high.

 

Because you were so good and pure

He bound you with his ring:

The neighbours call you good and pure,

Call me an outcast thing.

Even so I sit and howl in dust,

You sit in gold and sing:

Now which of us has tenderer heart?

You had the stronger wing.

 

O cousin Kate, my love was true,

Your love was writ in sand:

If he had fooled not me but you,

If you stood where I stand,

He'd not have won me with his love

Nor bought me with his land;

I would have spit into his face

And not have taken his hand.

 

Yet I've a gift you have not got,

And seem not like to get:

For all your clothes and wedding-ring

I've little doubt you fret.

My fair-haired son, my shame, my pride,

Cling closer, closer yet:

Your father would give lands for one

To wear his coronet.

now you're getting it

I am not going to mince words. I'm just telling it like it is. Whoever deliberately sent viruses to the computers at a CUNY school, for chrissakes, during midterms, is a scum of the earth who deserves to have his or her fingers pulled out slowly and well I'll leave it there. And more. Who would do such a malicious thing to college students who need computers to finish their papers? A bunch of the computers are infected. More than half.